Cuba Jokes

Following is our collection of castro puns and venezuela one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cuba jokes for adults, dirty yakov jokes and clean havana dad gags for kids.

The Best Cuba Puns

Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?

Those are the pie rates of the carribean.

A Cuban, a Canadian, and a white supremacist walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "Ah, Senator Cruz, what are you having?"

A slice of pie costs $3.50 in Barbados,

$3.00 in Saint Lucia, $2.50 in Belize, and $2 in Cuba.

Those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I like my women like I like my cigars

7 years old and coming from Cuba in a burlap sack


I asked my grandmother for "something Cuban" for my birthday, and she had got me a Che Guevara shirt.

Clothes, but no cigar.

Two twins were separated at birth

One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."

While watching Olympic kayaking, I was surprised at how bad the Cuban team was at paddling. Then I realized,

That's probably why they're still in Cuba.

What's the Cuban national anthem?

"Row, Row, Row Your Boat..."

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire?


A Cuban, a Canadian, and a homophobic walk into a bar

The bartender says, "What'll it be, Senator Cruz?"

My girlfriend used to work at an American prison in Cuba.

She's my Guantanamo Bae.

If a woman from Cuba marries a man from Iceland

Are their children called ice cubes?

Why doesn't Cuba have a soccer team?

All their athletes are training for distance swimming.

A guy from iceland and a girl from cuba get married.What are their children called?

Ice cubes

So I got myself a Cuban girlfriend...

She is my Guantanamo bae.

After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US has recently unleashed its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date…

The American tourist!

Question: Do yo know what America does with all it's circumcision's.

Answer: We send them to Cuba where they grow dictators

I've always wondered about the price of pies around the world

In the Bahamas they're $9 a pie.
In Jamaica they're $8 a pie.
In Cuba they're $7 a pie.

And those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

I had a Cuban sandwich for lunch today

Just tasted like pork

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walk into a bar...

Bartender says, "what'll it be Ted?"

What do you call a Chinese prison in Cuba?

Wanton-amo bay

What's a 3d shape's favourite country?


(Late Joke) Islamic State: People who are currently in Cuba,

You are all in Fidel's.



Several men were arrested when attempting to smuggle food additives into Cuba

They were dubbed the Pirates of the Carrageenan.

What do Cuban Koala bears eat?


I like my women like I like my cigars

Smuggled in from Cuba in a burlap sack

They just opened a Gold's Gym in Havana, Cuba

I'd like to see the line for that rowing machine...

Why don't the Cubans have Olympic swimmers?

Because they make it here.

After the death of Dictator Castro,

Cuba went into a state of high inFidelity.

A friend asked me what it was like to holiday in Cuba.

I couldnt answer, I Havana been there before.

TIL: The CIA is funding black sites by using detainees in Cuba to manufacture a brand energy drinks.

It's called "Guaranamo"

On what grounds did the wife divorce her husband when she found out he was having an affair with the leader of Cuba?


Why didn't rail Castro want to be President of Cuba?

He didn't want to play second fidel

What country has 6 faces, and 8 points?


Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba?

It's the Hemming way.

My dad is from Iceland and my mom is from Cuba


What's the main export of Cuba?

Baseball players.

Why does Cuba not have any casinos?

They Havana no money to spend.

Why don't you have to wait in line for fuel in Cuba?

Because theres no fuel to begin with

Apple pie costs 2$ in Cuba

Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica

Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico

These are the PieRates of the Caribbean

A key lime pie costs $3.50 in Cuba, a lemon meringue pie costs $4.50 in the Dominican Republic...

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

In Cuba, you can get a slice of pie for $2.50. In the Bahamas, you can get one for $3.00.

I guess you could say those were the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

John Bolton: The troika of tyranny in this Hemisphere – Cuba, Venezuela, and Nicaragua – has finally met its match,

Putin: Weird flex, but ok

What do you call motor oil from Cuba?

Fidel Castrol

There is an abundance of colombia jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 45 funniest jokes and cuba puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any motherland witze you can hear about cuba.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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