The Best 15 Crystal Meth Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Crystal Meth jokes. There are some crystal meth meh jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these crystal meth addictive puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Crystal Meth Jokes and Puns

The pollen is so bad this year in Phoenix...

that tweekers are turning their crystal meth back into Sudafed.

What do you call a tweaker (meth addict) who goes to church?

A Crystal Methodist.

My buddy told me he got laid off from his job reviewing vendors on eBay, Amazon, etc...

...so I said "Sorry to hear that, man. Let's go grab some meth and we'll tweak out to forget about it."

"Nah," he said. "I don't really feel like it."

"Come on," I urged. "A little crystal will do you good."

"I don't know..." he mumbled.

"Dude, let's get cranked already!" I implored.

"All right, man-- you fly, I'll buy!" he finally conceded.

Which just goes to show, if you want to pick up speed you've got to press on the ex seller rater.

Crystal Meth joke, My buddy told me he got laid off from his job reviewing vendors on eBay, Amazon, etc...

Did you hear about the guy who made his wife a necklace out of crystal meth?

I hear it was pretty dope.

If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed...

Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug.

*disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected.


What's the best stage name for a stripper with no teeth?

Crystal Meth

My allergies are acting up and...

The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.

Crystal Meth joke, My allergies are acting up and...

What do you get when you cross Godzilla, saved by the bell, and crystal meth?

Go go power rangers!

The Pollen count in the air is so high this year

all the meth cooks are turning their crystal back into Sudafed

Doing crystal meth lowers your risk of dying from cancer…

by raising your risk of dying from crystal meth.

My neighbors have been cooking Crystal until an explosion destroyed their kitchen.

The really methed it up.

You can explore crystal meth sudafed reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean crystal meth rehab dad jokes. There are also crystal meth puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


So my parents are always accusing me of using drugs.

If I had a dollar for every time they thought that I was on pot, I would probably blow it all on crystal meth.

What can tourists do on a $65 tour of gang turf in Los Angeles? Purchase a postcard, t-shirt, and some crystal meth!

I think that the best Christmas present is the one that you make yourself you know?

Like, crystal meth.

Did you hear about the junkie that was addicted to brake fluid and Crystal Meth? He said he could stop anytime.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the crystal meth methed jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working crystal meth quackhead piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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