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Crying Sister Jokes

57 crying sister jokes and hilarious crying sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crying sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Crying Sister Jokes

Short crying sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crying sister humour may include short crying jokes also.

  1. "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
  2. My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying.
  3. My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion So I threw a coconut at her
  4. .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry ...so I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind
  5. My sister thinks shes so smart, shes said onions are the only food that makes you cry So I threw a coconut at her
  6. My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.
  7. My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree. I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
  8. My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed... I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, "having an existential cry, sis?"
  9. I saw my sister sobbing in her room, worried that her Philosophy degree might be worthless in today's job market. I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
  10. What did the brother do when his sister said that the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry?
    He threw a carrot at her.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crying sister can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crying sister puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Crying Sister One Liners

Which crying sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crying sister? I can suggest the ones about baby sister and sister.

  1. What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?
  2. Your sister won't stop crying? You've got yourself a crisis
  3. One day my sister was crying You could really call it a crisis
  4. I Broke 12 Bones By the Time I Was 8 They were all my sister's, and she cried a lot.
  5. My 30 year old sister started crying She was having a mid-life crysis.
  6. What do you call your crying sister? A crisis!
  7. My Sister was crying so I asked her if she was having a cry-sis.

Crying Sister Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about crying sister you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crying baby jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crying sister prank.

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.


"Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…
"Now she knows."

"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?"
"Because I helped her." 
"But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?"
"I helped her eat her gummy bears."

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made.


Samantha explains it to her.
"I still don't get it? Can you show me."
Suzy says.
"OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw."
That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand.
The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have s**... with her.
"OK but I don't want Samantha to watch"
So Samantha went outside.
They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy.
"That was fun but I still don't get it."
Says Suzy
The next day the same thing happened.
And the next day.
Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying.
"Whats wrong," Suzy says.
"Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better."
Said Samantha.
"Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy.
When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it.
Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately.
He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her.
"OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed."
"Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."

Son: "Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl."

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"

Son: "Dad, I fell in love and want to date this girl"

Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something, son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandra is actually your sister."
The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later:
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great, son! Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhh, I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister."
This went on a few more times, and finally the son was so mad, he went straight to his mother crying.
Son: "Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls and I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says, "You can date whoever you want. He isn't your father!"

The Heart Attack

THE HEART ATTACK
A blonde gets home from work early & hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
She rushes upstairs only to find her husband n**... lying on the bed,
sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,' - cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to use the phone, but just as she's dialling, her four-year-old son says
"Mummy mummy, aunty Shirley is hiding in the wardrobe & she has no clothes on"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom
right past her husband..rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is
her sister, totally n**... and cowering on the floor.
'You rotten b**...', she screams.
'My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around
n**... playing hide and seek with the kids!!'

Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!

Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."

A blonde went to work...

Her boss found her crying in her office and went to see what's wrong. She told him that her mom had just died. He told her to go home and take the week off. She then said that that wasn't the problem. Puzzled, he asked what the problem was. "My sister called me, her mom died too!"

A good joke I heard a while back

A man walks in a church crying and says to the priest " I killed my sister and hid the body. My guilt is killing me what should I do?" The priest responded
"Drink some holy water"
A second guy comes in sobbing and says " I cheated on my wife and I can't tell her." The priest responded
"Go drink some holy water"
A third guy comes on laughing and the priest asks " Why are you laughing?" The man responded
" I peed in the holy water."

A man is woken up in the middle of the night by his son screaming. He quickly goes and wakes him up.

Man: "Son What's the matter?"
Son: "Dad it was the scariest dream! A man dressed in black came and told me my aunt is going to die tomorrow!"
Man: "Son it was just a dream don't worry."
The next day he comes home and his wife is crying.
Man: "Honey what's wrong?"
Wife: "my mother called my sister just dropped dead!"
That night the man is woken again by his son screaming and he wakes him up.
Son: "Dad the man in black came to me again in my dream and said tomorrow my father is going to die!"
Man: "Son your aunt dying was just a coincidence don't worry about me I'll be fine."
The next day the man is freaked he doesn't take any elevators, doesn't walk over any grates and jumps at any noise.
When he get home his wife takes one look at him.
Wife: "Honey you look awful what is going on?"
Man "I have had the worst day ever I feel awful and just want to go to bed."
Wife: "You think you had a bad day? This afternoon the mailman dropped dead on the front porch!"

Two Dogs (From the movie Silkwood)

A young brave visits the chief of the tribe with a question. "Wise one, is it true you name all the members of the tribe, and if so, how is it done?"
The venerable old man replies "Yes, for over 20 years I have named each person who is born to the tribe. I sit outside the lodge, and when I hear the infants' first cry, I open my eyes and the first thing I see becomes the name. So it was with your brother Big Bear, your sister Singing Bird, your cousin Blue Cloud, and so on."
"But tell me, Two Dogs F**king...... why do you ask?"

There are 3 nuns two that are crying and one who is laughing...

a priest goes up to the first crying nun and asks, "What is wrong sister?" The nun says, "I broke into somebody's house." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The next nun says, "Father I stole someone's car." The priest says, "Go drink from the holy water it will wash away your sins." The priest goes up to the laughing nun and asks, "Why are you laughing so hard?" The nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

A plane ride.

A Canadian, an Irishman, and a Mexican are on a plane. So they're flying over Mexico and the Mexican dropped a coin because he loves his country. Then, they fly over Ireland and the Irishman dropped a coin because he loves his country. But when they flew over Canada the Canadian dropped a bomb because he hates his country. The next day the Mexican was walking down the street and saw a little boy crying so he asked why. The little boy said "A coin fell down and killed my Mom!". The same day the Irishman was walking down the street and saw a little girl crying so hr asked why. The little girl said "Because a coin fell down and killed my sister!". The next day the Canadian was walking down the road and saw a little boy laughing so he asked why. The little boy said "I f**... and my neighbours house blew up!"
Sorry for the length.

A blonde comes into work crying...

As she sets down at her desk, her boss comes over and asks her whats wrong.
Blonde: my mother just died.
Boss: Please, go home, you of course can take time to grieve and take care of anything.
Blonde: No I want to distract myself today.
Later that day the boss walks past the blonde's desk and sees her crying again.
Boss: OK, I am tell you to go home, your mother dying is serious, go take care of yourself please.
Blonde: This isn't about my mother, I just talked to my sister and HER mother died too!

A crying blond

A blond goes into work crying her eyes out,her boss asks her whats wrong,she tells him that her mom died,the boss tells her that its ok for her not to come to work,but she disagrees and says that she needs to work to put her mind of it.As the day goes by she feels better,later she received a phone call and starts screaming and crying,when the boss came and asked her whats wrong she says: "That was my sister,HER MOM DIED TOO!"

The metamorphosis

One day, Franz Kafka's sister goes to wake her brother up only to discover that overnight, he has transformed into a giant hideous bug. Terrified, she calls out "Mother! Mother! Come quick. Look at what has happened to Franz!"
Her mother rushes to her son's bedroom only to see him transformed into a giant beetle, six legs and antenna and all. She cries "Oh papa, papa. Come look at what has happened to our dear boy"
The father comes into the room. Takes a look at his only son. Runs to open a window, grabs his son's aquarium full of his favorite sea invertebrates and throws the whole thing out the window. "Papa!" his daughter asks "Why did you do that?"
He replies "With Franz like this, who needs anemones?"

A man is about to die

His end is near, his wife is by his bed, holding his hand. No doctor was able to find out what exactly made the man so sick.
Suddenly, the man starts to cry. He sobs:
"Darling, I have to tell you something before I die."
She holds his hand even tighter and says:
"Shh, stay calm. You don't have to do anything!"
But he insists:
"Darling, I made mistakes. I slept with your best friend."
She stays calm:
"It's ok, don't worry about that."
He continues:
"I also slept with your sister."
His wife still remains calm, again she says:
"Honey, it's ok. Don't worry about that."
He tears up once more and confesses:
"I... also slept with your mom..."
His wife smiles at him, says:
"Honey, I know all of that. Now calm down and let that poison finish its job."

It's show and tell day...

In kindergarten class, and its Johnny's turn. He goes up to the board and puts a dot.
"What's that, Johnny?" The teacher asks.
"It's a period," replies Johnny.
"What's so special about a period Johnny?" she asks.
"I have no idea, but my sister missed one, so my dad starting yelling, mom started crying, and the guy next door shot himself."

Guy keeps calling off work on Mondays....

A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."
The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him."
So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"
The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my brother-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my sister. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure she's all right. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm f-----g her."
The boss says, "You f--k your sister?"
The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

Kids Marry The Darnedest Things

A young son declared, When 
I grow up, I'm going to marry you, Mommy.
You can't marry your own mother, said his older sister.
Then I'll marry you.
You can't marry me either.
He looked confused, so I explained, You can't marry someone in your own family.
You mean I have to marry a total stranger?! he cried.

Two nuns in the park...

Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to s**... assault them.
Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!"
Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!"

A Blond goes to work in tears.

A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"

"Dad, why did you name me Rain?"

Dad: "Because rain was the first thing that fell on you"
Rain: "Oh, I never knew that. Is that why my sister is named Snow as well?"
Dad: "Yes, you are absolutely right"
*a baby cries in the corner*
Dad: Shut up Brick!

Four months into her postulancy to become a nun a young woman went to Sister Maria crying.

"Sister, I must leave this convent but before I go I want to confess my sins."
"Okay," said Sister Maria.
"During my time here I've slept with multiple men!"
"Shame," said Sister Maria.
"Sometimes multiple men at one time."
"Shame," Said Sister Maria.
"Married men, single men, young men, old men, one in each hole, one in each hand."
"Shame," Said Sister Maria. "If you shtill want to leave, I'll shee you to the door."

Did you see the Alabama football player who proposed after he won the national championship last night?

His sister started crying and could barely give him a clear answer

Lady of my dreams

The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:
1. The tender one
2. The amazing one
3. Lady of my dreams
She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.
Then she called the second number on which his sister replied .
When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
She cried until she could cry no more because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole month's paycheck to make up for her doubts and mistrust.
Once his mother came to know of the story, she sold all her jewelery and gave him the money as well.
Husband took the money and bought a gift for his mistress who listed under "Plumber John".

Little Johnny and His Baby Sister

Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.
Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.
"From Heaven," replied his mom.
"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"

My wife couldn't stop crying after I told her she wasn't good in bed.

This crybaby didn't stop even though I repeated countless times that she would still be better than her sister.

(OC) My sister called me crying about not wanting to go into next year

She calls me and says "I want us to stay in 2020."

In my concern I asked, "Why?"
"Because if we go into next year, then 2020 won."



(True story, she did call me with this OC. I was quite impressed)

After a lifetime wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, a man finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted.

Yes, you were, son" his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back".

A blonde arrives at work crying out loud

The boss asks worried what happened to her, to which she answers:
"I got a call this morning and found out my mother was dead."
The boss comforts her:
"Why don't you go home today to rest? We don't have too much work to do anyway."
The blonde refuses, saying that she better work to forget about the trouble.
Five minutes later the boss finds the blonde crying even louder.
"What else happened?" he asks her.
To which she responds:
"My sister just called and told me her mother died too."

A boy hits his sister across the head with a book

The girl cries her eyes out and runs to her dad, "Daddy, Daddy, brother just hit me across the head with a book!"
The dad says "yeah yeah yeah, just another s**... story."

My mother broke down crying when I gave the eulogy at my sister's f**...

I didn't think my ventriloquism was *that* bad

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crying sister jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.