Crutches Jokes
17 crutches jokes and hilarious crutches puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crutches that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of crutches jokes. From puns to one-liners, we've got jokes for everyone.
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Funniest Crutches Short Jokes
Short crutches jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crutches humour may include short walking cane jokes also.
- I used to use alcohol as a crutch at parties Now it's more like Stephen Hawking's computer-chair
- A man on crutches walks into his local Ice-Cream shop.. He asks the lady behind the desk for a Knickerbocker Glory.
She says; "Crushed nuts?"
He says; "No, a sprained ankle" - My parents claim I'm using alcohol as a crutch I told them to stop being naive, crutches help you walk
- To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet.. You can hide, but you can't run.
^Credit ^to ^Milton ^Jones. - I was mugged...... .....by a man on crutches, wearing camouflage. " Ha ha, I thought, you can hide but you can't run.
- I hurt my back last week but now I no longer need my cane It was really only a crutch anyway
- What happened to the man in crutches when he heard a punny joke he couldn't bear to stand it.
- We didn't have much growing up and money was tight. So when one day my dad found a crutch lying on the road, he came home and broke my leg.
- I was at the hospital today when a man dressed all in camouflage stole my wheelchair and crutches: Little does he know. He can hide but he cannot run.
- I'm finally getting off of crutches soon... I'm upgrading to a wheelchair.
This is a joke but also true
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Crutches One Liners
Which crutches one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crutches? I can suggest the ones about walking stick and braces.
- My boss accused me of benefit fraud so I threw my crutches to the ground and walked out
- Why don't crutches have wifi? They can't support a signal due to data handicaps.
- Why do musicians tap their feet to keep time? They use it as a crutch
- I just can't stand... I just can't stand people who use puns as crutches for jokes.
- Why doesn't tom hanks need his crutches anymore? Because he threw his Cast Away.
Quirky and Hilarious Crutches Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about crutches you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wheelchair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crutches pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One morning a man came into the church on crutches
He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, then threw away his crutches.
An altar boy witnessed the scene, then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen.
"Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me, where is this man now?"
"Flat on his a**... over by the holy water."
Kelly hobbled in to the bar on a crutch with one arm in a cast.
My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked.
I got in a tiff with Riley.
Riley? He's just a wee fellow" the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand.
That he did" Kelly said, A shovel it was.
Dear Lord. Didn't you have anything in your hand?"
Aye, that I did….Mrs. Riley's right breast" Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but not much use in a fight.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever since I've been on crutches I've been extremely depressed...
I mean I just can't stand myself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old joke from my m**... grandpa.
Two guys go to a preacher to be healed. o**..., Danny, has a lisp. The other, Mr. Smith, is paralyzed from the waist down and cannot walk. The preacher tells them, however, not to worry.
"The Lord is going to heal you. Are you ready?"
"Yes," says Mr. Smith,. "Yeth", says Danny.
"Okay, when I say the word, Mr. Smith, throw down your crutches! And Danny, you say the first thing that comes to your mind!"
The preacher begins some silent prayer, and after a few seconds, he shouts: "Now! Now!"
A thud is heard. "Mr. Thmifth juth fell on the flo"
Two old hippies meet a nun at a bus stop…
She's on crutches and seems to be having a hard time.
One hippie asks her, hey sister, like, what happened to your leg?
Oh my son, I slipped in the shower and broke my ankle replied the nun.
Oh said the hippie as he turned to his friend to ask quietly, hey man, what's a shower?
Don't ask me man, I'm not Christian!
