Following is our collection of Crush jokes which are very funny. There are some crush steamroller jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these crush brian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
I loved my wife Lorraine in the beginning, but for the longest time I've had a crush on my friend Claire-Lee Robins, who I know feels the same way about me. Eventually Lorraine found out about my secretive feelings, and just like that, she packed her bags and left.
I do feel bad about it all. But then I realised; I can see Claire-Lee now Lorraine has gone.
We've now been married for 10 years and have a kid and she hasn't made any progress with that guy. Maybe I should stop beating him up every time he tries to meet her?
Nah. Need to stay in character.
[Pulling out]
Me: Excuse me, what?
Because it's soda pressing.
WHO SAYS doing Christmas shopping early avoids the crush? Last year, I did mine a full 12 months in advance, and the shops were just as busy as ever.
I work in a can recycling factory.
My job is to crush cans.
I don't enjoy it. It's soda pressing.
He received a Sunkist from his Crush
I whisper to myself as I read the one letter reply from my crush.
She said no both times
If you know you can't get it, all you can do is just stare at it.
Now there's orange soda all over my bed. :(
You can explore crush demolish reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean crush crusher dad jokes. There are also crush puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation.
Apparently there is no explanation for saying "I wish you were nine."
You'll think "Well, I can't do much with this right now, but if I ever cross that line I'll be just fine"
...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. You can't see that, it's private!
The second student protested, But we're in the same class
Before you ask her out, she is both single and taken
Because I'd love to crush that box and leave you by the curb tomorrow morning.
"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."
The teacher asked Alex if something was wrong, since he wasn't out with the others.
"It's because I'm in love with you, Alex told her.
"Well," the teacher replied - "What If I don't like small children?".
"Then...we'll just have to be careful, I guess".
Soda pressing.
Me: Don't worry, they'll come back
... She said no both times.
I guess you could say I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush.
Imagination.
...but it's Trudeau
I instantly called her on her bullshit because nobody else was following her when I followed her home.
We were driving to New York at the time, and about halfway up the east coast she told me I was like a brother to her. She was surprised when I proceeded to turn the car around and drive the other way without even acting phased. She asked "where are we going now?" My only answer was "Alabama."
We never hooked up, she was always seeing someone else.
Lucky she likes game of thrones
Me in August, and her in November.
I guess it was my first crush.
After 25 years... I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I said because my other hand isn't free.
She's not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt
-Never smoke while texting..
One thing is that we both like her but none of us like me.
He drinks a fair amount there and then asks for his crush from high school's hand in marriage. She accepts and then they drink some more. The next morning the man remembers that he had asked the woman to marry him but not her response, so he calls her up and asks if she said yes. She replies, "Of course I said yes. Thank goodness you called me though." The man, puzzled asks why. She replies "I had forgotten to whom I had said yes to."
She told me someone was stalking her yesterday when she was going home. I followed her all the way and didn't find any stalker.
Lots of tail, and 50% chance of getting head
It was soda pressing :(
Me: I think I have a crush on my teacher
Friend: That's gross
Me: I've heard it's pretty common
Friend: But you're homeschooled
But then I realized that she was from Alabama.
And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt
She was from Alabama
Would you B-flat?
Fortunately I didn't get caught disposing of her body.
She's giving all the right signs
Because hopes and dreams cannot crush themselves.
With her hands
She is now high on the list of things I want to do before I die.
now she is my mom
It was just horrifying, I was on a boat in a lake, when suddenly my boat tipped over! As I fell into the lake I realized it was orange, orange crush infact! Tasted delicious, but after a minute I started sinking, I was going to drown in a lake of orange crush!
That's when I woke up and realized, it was just a fanta-sea
I didn't know she works at the Rejection Hotline, hope they pay her well :)
She seemed a little creeped out when she saw it was a wedding dress though.
Is this a Crush, or just a Fanta-sy?
My country banned Tik tok the very next day.
Well on the bright side, atleast I wasnt the only one that got shot down.
Sheepishly.
My crush: No thanks, I don't like small talk.
Then I saw her face.
Now I'm a bee-leaver.
I should have picked a tree with more leaves.
Hers is in February and mine in July
She said no both times and blocked me
The alarm clock
And she said to me "Whatever floats your boat"
And i said "No that's **Buoyancy**"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the crush infatuation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working crush date piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.