Crumpled Jokes
8 crumpled jokes and hilarious crumpled puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crumpled that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Uproarious Crumpled Jokes to Share with Friends
What is a good crumpled joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
With a very seductive voice, a wife asked her husband, Have you ever seen $20 all crumpled up?
No said her husband. She gave him a little smile, unbuttoned the top three b**..., reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled $20 note.
She then asked Have you ever seen $50 all crumpled up? No, I haven't he said with an anxious tone in his voice. She seductively unzipped her skirt and pulled out a crumpled $50 note.
Now she said. Have you ever seen $40,000 all crumpled up? No way! he panted, becoming even more excited,
She said Look in the garage.
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
A runner walks into a bar
An ultra runner jogs into a bar and orders a beer. She reaches into her sweaty sports bra and pulls out a sweaty crumpled $5 bill to pay. The bartender gingerly picks up the damp bill with a pair of tongs and dumps it in a bucket. "You realize every time I get money with b**... fluids on them I have to report it to the government," the bartender grumbles. "It's g**... income."
Why couldn't the crumpled can of coke get out of bed in the morning?
Because it was soda pressed.
Never lie on your CV . . .
. . . It'll get all crumpled
did my laundry, and at the bottom of my basket were a couple of crumpled $1s
As I smoothed them out for folding, my wife looked over at me, so I said "laundered money"
True story
This morning I wrote a note on my container of spaghetti that read "Marios noodles" and left my lunch in the fridge...
At lunch, I see Luigi eating my Spaghetti!
I say, "Hey, didn't you see the note?" Those noodles were mine! you owe me a dollar!"
Outraged, Luigi stood and pointed at the crumpled up note. "No a pasta fee!"
A man comes home...
To find his wife sitting seductively on the couch in s**... l**.... She looks at him coyly and asks, "Have you ever seen a dollar all crumpled up?"
The man replies, "No..."
His wife reaches near her breast and pulls out a crumpled up $1 bill. She then asks him, "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"
"Not that I'm aware of." Says the man with a puzzled look on his face.
His wife pulls a $50 bill out of her garter, crumples it up, and throws it at his feet.
She then asks him, "Have you ever seen *fifty thousand dollars* all crumpled up?
"I'm certain that's something I've never seen." Her husband says with confidence.
His wife says, "Go look in the garage, I wrecked the car"
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