The Best 47 Cruel Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cruel jokes. There are some cruel pageants jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cruel creativity puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cruel Jokes and Puns

Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel?

Because he doesn't have a Seoul.

Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ?

Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ?

Answer: reversion to the mean

Today i drove past a sign that said "Watch for blind children."

That's very cruel. What's next? Headphones for deaf kids?

Cruel joke, Today i drove past a sign that said "Watch for blind children."

A context joke

Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.

Rorschach's Joke

I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."

Why is North Korea so cruel?

Because it doesn't have a Seoul!

God is cruel

God said that good lil wayne songs could be found in all corners of the Earth. Then he made the Earth round and laughed.

Cruel joke, God is cruel

I need ideas for jokes.

I need to play pranks on my friends, its not necessary for it to be cruel, but there is no limitation. Any help would be appreciated.

Cruel joke

A guy has a terrible accident, once he is at the hospital the doctor tells him: "I have bad news and good news." The guy responds tell me the bad news first. The bad news is that I need to amputate your two legs. The good news is that there is a guy outside who wants to buy your jordans...

How do you describe a cruel, yet clever, German? [OC]

They're auschwitty

My daughter can be so cruel...

Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers?

Me: I don't know, what?

Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!

You can explore cruel vicious reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cruel cruelest dad jokes. There are also cruel puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

This is a bit cruel, but one of my favorites:

What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat?

The Wheelchair.

What is the cruelest thing you can do to a blind person?

'Caution- Hot surface' in braille.

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?


I just found out my grandmother only has one day left to live. And I know this might sound cruel...

...but I'm not paying the ransom. -Anthony Jeselnik

What would be a cruel joke to play on Hellen Keller?

Leave the plunger in the toilet!

Cruel joke, What would be a cruel joke to play on Hellen Keller?

wife's insisting to quit job

The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...

I work in a hammer factory.

I can't get over how cruel some people are.

I had some Nickelback tickets on the passenger seat of my car, and I popped into the shop for just five minutes.

When I came back, someone had smashed the window and left two more.

If people don't wish to discuss the cruel existential futility of all human endeavour they shouldn't say..

...Good Morning in the first place.

A boy tells his father that humans are cruel

"Hmm okay, but why?" asked the father.

"Well some people out there are hanging horses" said the son.

The father let out a confused chuckle, "What do you mean people are hanging horses?!"

The son tells him "well I overheard mum telling her friend that the plumber who came over to fix the drain pipes was hung like a horse."

What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer?

"Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"

Have you heard about this man who took his mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool?

He is now being sued by SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles

I reported my great grandfather to the ASPCA!

He told me that during his years as a pilot in WWII, he was involved in what he called "dogfighting". How cruel can you be?!

Making fun of a short's person height is cruel and requires no ability...

... one could even say it's the lowest form of humour.

My thoughts on anti-abortion:

Its a cruel nickname but she has had 4

A treehouse is cruel...

It's like killing someone and then making their friends hold the dead body.

Rorschach humor

Heard joke once: Man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.

Why did Cruella De Vil become a scientist?

Because she wanted to wear a lab coat.

What's a cruelly ironic name for a man with spectrophobia?


The cruelest cut

After a checkup, a doctor asked his patient, Is there anything you'd like to discuss?

Well, said the patient, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.

That's a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?

Yes, we took a vote … and they're in favor of it 15 to 2.

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman..

..are in the trenches surrounded by the enemy with no way of escaping The Englishman sees three sacks and says right boys follow my lead.
They each get in a sack and as the enemy approaches they poke the bag with their bayonetted.

"Meow meow" says the Englishman.
"Ah it's just some kittens, leave them be were not that cruel. "

They poke the Scotsman.
"Woof woof"
"Ah just puppies leave them be"

Then they poke the Irishman

Fate can be a cruel lady.

I guess that's why it's called **mis**fortune.

What do you call the process of mentally breaking a cruel Mexican criminal using his only sons?

Cracking open a cold Juan with the boys.

Deviled eggs?

Is that some kind of cruel yolk?

Today i gave my seat to a old handicapped man in the bus . The next very day i lost my job as a bus driver. The world is too cruel for kind people.

Circumcision is barbaric and cruel

I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.

What did the NFL player say to the comedian after hearing a cruel joke about football?

That was an offensive line, man.

My mother's sister is Anti-Abortion

it's a cruel nickname but she's had 5

Yesterday, I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person...

Today, I lost my job as a bus driver...

This world is too cruel for the kind hearted.

One Day A Girl Went To Eat Crawfish With Her Mother

While eating, the girl stopped and asked her mother:

These crawfish aren't going back to be with their families, won't their mothers be worried?

Her mother was shocked by the innocent but cruel question, stopped her hands too. How could anyone take any bite after this?

Luckily, the restaurant owner walked by and saved the day:

Don't worry sweetie, acutally, they ARE with their family.

If Cruella de Vil had a daughter, she would be named Lucy.

Lucy would aid the family business by taking up a logistics division, calling the child company Lucy's Fur.

I egged my mate's car in retaliation for a cruel practical joke he played on me.

Now the yolk is on him.

A school shooting breaks out, the shooter kills every kid he sees for being cruel to him, all except one specific 12 year old boy.

I guess progeria has it's ups.

Cruel March Madness Odds

If you want a sure thing in your men's NCAA tournament pool, you'll need to fill out the 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 brackets necessary to guarantee a winner. Just leave yourself *plenty* of time to finish them all*:* if you filled out one bracket every second it would take you 292 billion years to cover all the possibilities.

High school math teachers true-love story....

After being separated for years by cruel fate, the two star-crossed lovers raced towards each other like two freight trains... one leaving Cleveland at 6:30pm and traveling south at 55mph and the other having left Topeka at 4:15pm heading east at 35mph...

Why is Kim Jong Un cruel?

He doesn't have a Seoul

Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel?

He has no Seoul.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cruel tish jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cruel chads piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes