Cruel Jokes
77 cruel jokes and hilarious cruel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cruel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laughing is an important part of human nature, but often times a joke can be too cruel. In this article, discover how cruel jokes like April Fools, jokes about orphans and even animals can be taken to an extreme. Read on to understand the implications of these vicious jokes that target the old, custody, autism and more.
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Funniest Cruel Short Jokes
Short cruel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cruel humour may include short brutal jokes also.
- A treehouse is cruel... It's like killing someone and then making their friends hold the dead body.
- A context joke Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke. - My daughter can be so cruel... Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Me: I don't know, what?
Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli! - God is cruel God said that good lil wayne songs could be found in all corners of the Earth. Then he made the Earth round and laughed.
- What's the difference between a happy programmer and a sad programmer? "Hello, world" and "Goodbye, cruel world"
- Circumcision is barbaric and cruel I didn't speak to my parents for a year after I was circumcised.
- I just found out my grandmother only has one day left to live. And I know this might sound cruel... ...but I'm not paying the ransom. -Anthony Jeselnik
- This is a bit cruel, but one of my favorites: What part of the vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The Wheelchair. - Looking back, I now realise how cruel I was, as a child, making our cat play with one of the goldfish. He nearly drowned
- I reported my great grandfather to the ASPCA! He told me that during his years as a pilot in WWII, he was involved in what he called "dogfighting". How cruel can you be?!
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Cruel One Liners
Which cruel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cruel? I can suggest the ones about ruthless and hurtful.
- Why is North Korea so cruel? Because it doesn't have a Seoul!
- Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel? He has no Seoul.
- Why is Kim Jong Un cruel? He doesn't have a Seoul
- Why is Kim Jong Un so cruel? Because he doesn't have a Seoul.
- Cannibals are often viewed as cruel. But really, there's a lot of human in them.
- My thoughts on anti-abortion: Its a cruel nickname but she has had 4
- Deviled eggs? Is that some kind of cruel yolk?
- What would be a cruel joke to play on Hellen Keller? Leave the plunger in the toilet!
- What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Cancer. - It was cruel of Mark Addy (Robert Baratheon in GoT) to name his son Paul. Poor laddie.
- My mother's sister is Anti-Abortion it's a cruel nickname but she's had 5
- Well it really is *finals* week. Tell my family I love them. Goodbye cruel world.
- How do you describe a cruel, yet clever, German? [OC] They're auschwitty
- Why is EU so cruel to England? ....First is Brexit deal, now is World Cup.
- I came up with a great pirate joke, but my friend stole it. A cruel Arr-any, m'friends.
Mean Cruel Jokes
Here is a list of funny mean cruel jokes and even better mean cruel puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ? Why do statisticians always go back to being cruel ?
Answer: reversion to the mean - TIL Vietnam's national currency is the d**.... I mean I've heard of s**... costing an arm and a leg but that just seems cruel.
- Did you hear about my cruel psychic Maths teacher called Moe who's great with a s**... rifle? He's a mean medium, Moe, with range.
Cruel Baby Jokes
Here is a list of funny cruel baby jokes and even better cruel baby puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People think that my wife and I are cruel for naming our baby girl Siri . Especially when they know our last name is Russ.
Cheerful Cruel Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about cruel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heartless jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cruel pranks.
Today i drove past a sign that said "Watch for blind children."
That's very cruel. What's next? Headphones for deaf kids?
Rorschach's Joke
I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor... I am Pagliacci."
Cruel One Liner
Yesterday my uncle slipped into a coma; b**... living the dream!
Cruel joke
A guy has a terrible accident, once he is at the hospital the doctor tells him: "I have bad news and good news." The guy responds tell me the bad news first. The bad news is that I need to amputate your two legs. The good news is that there is a guy outside who wants to buy your jordans...
What is the cruelest thing you can do to a blind person?
'Caution- Hot surface' in braille.
wife's insisting to quit job
The wife's insisting I quit my job, because she thinks it's cruel we've started testing our new products on rabbits.
She's got a point, I suppose...
I work in a hammer factory.
I can't get over how cruel some people are.
I had some Nickelback tickets on the passenger seat of my car, and I popped into the shop for just five minutes.
When I came back, someone had smashed the window and left two more.
If people don't wish to discuss the cruel existential futility of all human endeavour they shouldn't say..
...Good Morning in the first place.
A boy tells his father that humans are cruel
"Hmm okay, but why?" asked the father.
"Well some people out there are hanging horses" said the son.
The father let out a confused chuckle, "What do you mean people are hanging horses?!"
The son tells him "well I overheard mum telling her friend that the plumber who came over to fix the drain pipes was hung like a horse."
Making fun of a short's person height is cruel and requires no ability...
... one could even say it's the lowest form of humour.
Rorschach humor
Heard joke once: Man goes to the doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor...I am Pagliacci.
Why did Cruella De Vil become a scientist?
Because she wanted to wear a lab coat.
What's a cruelly ironic name for a man with spectrophobia?
Amir.
The cruelest cut
After a checkup, a doctor asked his patient, Is there anything you'd like to discuss?
Well, said the patient, I was thinking about getting a vasectomy.
That's a big decision. Have you talked it over with your family?
Yes, we took a vote … and they're in favor of it 15 to 2.
An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman..
..are in the trenches surrounded by the enemy with no way of escaping The Englishman sees three sacks and says right boys follow my lead.
They each get in a sack and as the enemy approaches they poke the bag with their bayonetted.
"Meow meow" says the Englishman.
"Ah it's just some kittens, leave them be were not that cruel. "
They poke the Scotsman.
"Woof woof"
"Ah just puppies leave them be"
Then they poke the Irishman
"Potatoes!"
Fate can be a cruel lady.
I guess that's why it's called **mis**fortune.
What do you call the process of mentally breaking a cruel Mexican criminal using his only sons?
Cracking open a cold Juan with the boys.
What did the NFL player say to the comedian after hearing a cruel joke about football?
That was an offensive line, man.
Dadjokes may not be used as a sentence for a crime
They are cruel and unusual pun-ishment.
Me: Do you want to hear the cruel things people are saying about you?
Elephant Man: I'm all ears.
Me: Yes, that's one of them.
I tried to sue the Devil for cruel and unusual punishment
but I lost because, naturally, he had access to the best lawyers in the world.
A cruel joke is when your wife says she wants a divorce.
But than says she was just kidding about it so you have to stay miserable.
Yesterday, I gave up my seat on the bus for a blind person...
Today, I lost my job as a bus driver...
This world is too cruel for the kind hearted.
One Day A Girl Went To Eat Crawfish With Her Mother
While eating, the girl stopped and asked her mother:
These crawfish aren't going back to be with their families, won't their mothers be worried?
Her mother was shocked by the innocent but cruel question, stopped her hands too. How could anyone take any bite after this?
Luckily, the restaurant owner walked by and saved the day:
Don't worry sweetie, acutally, they ARE with their family.
If Cruella de Vil had a daughter, she would be named Lucy.
Lucy would aid the family business by taking up a logistics division, calling the child company Lucy's Fur.
I egged my mate's car in retaliation for a cruel practical joke he played on me.
Now the yolk is on him.
A school shooting breaks out, the shooter kills every kid he sees for being cruel to him, all except one specific 12 year old boy.
I guess progeria has it's ups.
Cruel march madness Odds
If you want a sure thing in your men's NCAA tournament pool, you'll need to fill out the 9,223,372,036,854,775,808 brackets necessary to guarantee a winner. Just leave yourself *plenty* of time to finish them all*:* if you filled out one bracket every second it would take you 292 billion years to cover all the possibilities.
High school math teachers true-love story....
After being separated for years by cruel fate, the two star-crossed lovers raced towards each other like two freight trains... one leaving Cleveland at 6:30pm and traveling south at 55mph and the other having left Topeka at 4:15pm heading east at 35mph...
God said unto Adam do not cook a kid in its mother's milk, for it is cruel
Ah said Adam... so we are not allowed to eat milk and meat together?
No, listen to me god said. Do not cook a kid in its mother's milk... it is cruel
So we can't even cook milk and meat together? And have to wait between eating each one?
You're not listening says god. Do not *cook a kid* in its mother's milk... *for it is cruel*
Ahhh, then you're saying we should separate all our milk from our meat, and not even have it in the same...
God cut him off you know what, do whatever the h**... you want .
A man woke up sobbing
"The world is a cruel uncaring void!" he cried. "Pleasure is fleeting but pain is eternal! Hope is a mirage! What cruel God made this reality!?"
Next to him, his wife stirred.
"Oh honey...is it Monday already...?"
Man goes to The Circus of Pagliacci
He doesn't laugh. At the end of the show Pagliacci ask him why he didn't laugh. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain. Pagliacci says, 'I think you should see a doctor.' Man bursts into tears. Says, 'But Pagliacci… I am doctor.'
