Crucifixion Jokes

Following is our collection of nazareth puns and savior one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crucifixion jokes for adults, dirty crossfit jokes and clean abs dad gags for kids.

The Best Crucifixion Puns

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?


If Jesus was real they wouldn't call it the crucifixion...

They would call it crucifact.

Why do crucifixion depictions always portray Jesus as muscular?


Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task...

... however Romans nailed it.

What's the difference between a cow and the crucifixion?

You can't milk a cow for two thousand years...

Jesus' crucifixion was a success...

They totally nailed it!

Why did the Romans bring bleach to Jesus's crucifixion?

To prevent cross contamination.

Why did Jesus's crucifixion save us all ?

Because he nailed it.

>I am so sorry. I will leave now.

The Romans executed tens of thousands by crucifixion, and...

you're just gonna assume the guy on my necklace is Jesus?

Why was Jesus ripped at his crucifixion?

Because he was cross-fit!

I tried to make a joke about crucifixion...

...but it landed on it's face....I just couldn't nail it right.

What did the Romans said when they finished the crucifixion?

Nailed it

I've been double crossed

You would think one crucifixion would have been enough.

fiance: just pretend to be religious for 10 minutes and he'll agree to marry us

me: okay
\[at church\]
priest: it's nice to meet you both
me: \[seeing crucifixion statue on wall\]
jesus what happened to this guy?"

What do you call Jesus walking to His crucifixion?


Took an exam on the crucifixion the other day.

Nailed it.

Price of 2x4's : 9$. Price of some nails: 3.50$. Price of a hammer:15$

The world after a Crucifixion: Christless.

God and Jesus were putting the final touches on his proposed journey down to earth

The only thing remaining was mode of death.

"I've narrowed it down to death by crucifixion or death by killer bees," said God.

Jesus mulled it over. "I think I'd prefer the crucifixion," he said.

And that's why Catholics around the world make the sign of the cross instead of swatting themselves furiously at mass.

What was the best thing about Jesus' crucifixion?

Well, the cross was a big plus

I enjoy reenacting the Crucifixion during sex. People call me sacrilegious.

I tell them I'm only religious in the sack.

Did you hear about the Crucifixion victims?

They're screwed up.

Being late to the crucifixion, St. Peter asks: "Gosh, what happened to Jesus?"

"He died four hours since."

There is an abundance of christianity jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 22 funniest jokes and crucifixion puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any christians witze you can hear about crucifixion.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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