Crucifix Jokes

Following is our collection of catholic puns and nails one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crucifix jokes for adults, dirty mcsteak jokes and clean crucify dad gags for kids.

The Best Crucifix Puns

Why do crucifixion depictions always portray Jesus as muscular?


My spinster aunt thinks that statues of Jesus on the crucifix in only a loincloth is too revealing, so she has started covering them in appropriate clothing.

...aparently, she's a cross-dresser now.

Crucifixion of Jesus was not an easy task...

... however Romans nailed it.

Jesus' crucifixion was a success...

They totally nailed it!

Little Johnny goes to his mother...

"Mommy, Mommy! do you know that my new babysitter is an angel?"

"Oh why do you say so?" replies the Mother.

"Because this morning, while you were out, she was standing all naked in your room on the bed under the crucifix you and Dad keep on the wall screaming \-I am coming, oh Lord, I am coming!!!\- luckily Daddy was behind holding her down"...

Why did Jesus's crucifixion save us all ?

Because he nailed it.

>I am so sorry. I will leave now.

I have a bag with a crucifix, Buddha, and the Quran inside.

Is this sacrilegious?

I made a custom mold by pouring silicone over a crucifix. 24 hours and one epoxy pour later...

and Christ is resin.

I heard that a crucifix is very uncomfortable

But I tried one, and it fit me to a t.

What do the initials I.N.R.I. on a crucifix mean?

I'm Nailed Right In.

What do you call a Christian mechanic?

A crucifix.

A business that sells crucifix shaped skis called 'cross country'

For Sale

One crucifix, slightly used. May not work properly, the last guy we stuck up on it was up and walking again after two days.

There is an abundance of saviour jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and crucifix puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any pilate witze you can hear about crucifix.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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