Following is our collection of buzzards puns and hawks one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crows jokes for adults, dirty cah jokes and clean crow dad gags for kids.
Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.
They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.
Swallows.
They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself
Attempted murder
All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.
Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.
So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion
velcrows
A tempted murder.
I'll see myself out now.
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.
They were charged for attempted murder
A murder most fowl.
(I'll see myself out...)
When his secretary comes in and says "Sir, there's a man here to see you who thinks he's a flock of crows. If you ask me we should just send him to the loony bin and be done with it."
And the psychiatrist replied "Doris! Are you asking me to commit a murder!?"
The cops arrested him for attempted murder.
... if there's probable caws.
Premeditated murder.
He was arrested for attempted murder.
Don't automatically assume it's a murder of crows.
You can't have a murder without probable caws.
You could see the murder in his eyes.
...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.
*A tempted murder*
...a migraine of children...
Attempted murder.
"Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."
Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact."
Most crows didn't drink.
The rooster crows : **"Cock-a-doodle-doo"**
The nymphomaniac goes :**"Any-Cock-will-dooo"**
A group of crows aligned evenly to both margins is justified murder.
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
Most crows drank at home
Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a murder.
Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?
He committed a murder.
I don't know what was happening but all of a sudden there were hundreds of crows.
Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."
A tempted murder.
The charge was attempted murder
Attempted Murder
A plot to murder a murder plot's murder.
A cawcus
Yee-caw
The British Parliament
Their buddies are up in the trees yelling caaaawr caaawr caaawr.
Conspiracy to commit murder.
Attempted murder.
attempted murder.
All unsolved crimes are murder mysteries.
It was an attempted murder.
A murder
It was Mass murder
So much for lawn order.
On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the tree to watch for danger. They found out that the Boston crows could say caw caw but they couldn't say truck truck .
It was almost a murder.
They told me to stop calling and leave the crows alone.
They brought an Ornithologist in, who discovered that 90% had been killed by trucks. After some study, they figured out that it was because the crows could say "Caw!" but not "Truck!"
A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens.
Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five.
The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.
I've never seen so many crows at one time!
I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!
It was awesome. There must've been 50 crows in it.
Because when a car comes by they yell: Caw Caw Caw!
1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.
2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.
3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.
4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.
5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.
6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.
...a lick.
A murder most fowl
Because their buddies warn them -- caw, caw, caw!!
But if they are... its a murder.
He figured it must of been a murder of crows
When a rooster crows, their hearing closes off so they don't damage their hearing. The narcissist does the same when yelling.
The crows flew away.
A grizzly murder
An attempted murder.
It was a murder most foul.
We all know some of the common names: pride of lions, murder of crows, etc. But some aren't so well known:
construction site of cranes
chomp of alligators
giggle of girls
cancer of lawyers
They were arrested for attempted murder.
Because someone said there was a "murder".
It really was a murder scene
He went to jail because he commit a murder.
There is an abundance of bird jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 75 funniest jokes and crows puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any caw witze you can hear about crows.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.