Crows Jokes

110 crows jokes and hilarious crows puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crows that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Then check out this hilarious collection of jokes about the Adelaide Crows, two crows, crows feet, carcasses, seagulls and buzzards. Get ready for some side-splitting guffaws as you read these jokes and get ready for your next Aussie AFL match!

Best Short Crows Jokes

Short crows jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crows humour may include short owls jokes also.

  1. If I owned a race horse, I would name it My Face Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"
    "...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"
    -Credit goes to my mother
  2. I went to the doctor because I'm being constantly followed by nearly 20 crows. She says I have Corvid 19.
  3. What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.
  4. Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? Apparently, the only difference between a raven and a crow is a matter of a pinion.
  5. Why did the scarecrow take up the accordion? Because it’s the best way to keep the crows away.
  6. A woman is looking at herself in the mirror "Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."
    Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact."
  7. Russell Crowe showed no remorse after cannibalising his wife. In fact, he seemed like he was Gladiator.
  8. Did you guys hear about the guy who got the skin on his face ripped apart by eagle talons? They tried to fix it with botox, but that only helps with crow's feet.
  9. I was very upset when I found out that hit song by The Black Crows was actually a cover of Otis Redding It's hard to handle
  10. Why don't you ever see a crow roadkill Because there is always another one in the tree yelling, "CAWR CAWR!"

Quick Jump To

Crows joke, Why don't you ever see a crow roadkill

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crows can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crows puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Crows One Liners

Which crows one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crows? I can suggest the ones about scarecrow and fowl.

  1. Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies? Swallows.
  2. Before crowbars were invented...... ...most crows drank at home by themselves.
  3. A little known fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.
  4. What kind of crows stick together? velcrows
  5. What do you call birds that stick together? Vel-Crows
  6. What do you call two crows stuck together? Velcrows
  7. Before there were crowbars Crows drank at home
  8. What's a crow's favorite drink? CAW-fee.
  9. What did Russell Crowe do when a cannibal ate his wife? Nothing... He was Gladiator.
  10. Before the crowbar was invented Most crows didn't drink.
  11. what does a crow say when it sees a car coming? car
  12. Crows Before they invented Crowbars, crows had to drink alone. :(
  13. Before the crowbar was invented... Most crows drank at home
  14. What do you call a bird that sticks to things? A 'vel'crow
  15. Did Russell Crow feel bad after he ate his wife? Nah! He was Gladiator!

Two Crows Jokes

Here is a list of funny two crows jokes and even better two crows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear about Russel Crow's recent problem with cannibalism? At first he expressed shame about consuming a mother of two. But upon further consideration he was gladiator.
  • Two ducks walk into a bar and are immediately asked to leave It was a crow bar.
  • Two crows were fighting and another crow came and broke it up. "Stop carrion on like that," the third crow said.
  • Two crows that are husband and wife are home when The phone rings. Ethel answers, hello? Hey Ethel Bob home. Yeah hang on. Hey Bob! Yeah? Phone caw!
  • So I saw two murders today Can't believe how many crows were in that mans body
  • I've always been corny... When I was born, there were three storks. One to deliver me and two to fend off the crows.
  • What do you call two crows being intimate on a tree? Dichromate
  • Two crows are sitting at the bar having a craft beer. One crow drinks his down quickly and rudly takes his buddy's beer. The other crow snatches it back and exclaims, "My crow brew!"
  • What do you call two black birds stuck together? Vel-crow
  • What do you call two crows sitting in a tree? Attempted m**...

Counting Crows Jokes

Here is a list of funny counting crows jokes and even better counting crows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call the Lord Commander of the Night's Watch voting? Counting Crows
  • What is Peyton Manning's favorite Counting Crows song? Omaha
  • If you kill a crow with a crowbar... Does it count as m**...?
Crows joke, If you kill a crow with a crowbar...

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Crows Jokes

What funny jokes about crows you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crowd jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crows prank.

Did you know that a group of crows is called a m**...?

Well, technically it's only a m**... if there's probable caws.

Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?

It was Mass m**...

A joke for the cerebral...What do you call it when a bunch of crows agree to meet later?

Premeditated m**....

What do you call a group of politically similar crows?

A cawcus


1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.
2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.
3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.
4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.
5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.
6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.

What do you call a flock of crows who are resisting the urge to sin?

*A tempted m**...*

A Psychiatrist is sitting in his office...

When his secretary comes in and says "Sir, there's a man here to see you who thinks he's a flock of crows. If you ask me we should just send him to the loony bin and be done with it."
And the psychiatrist replied "Doris! Are you asking me to commit a m**...!?"

Many ravens are called a congress...

Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a m**....
Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?

Two crows are loitering in the park; why did they get arrested?

Attempted m**....

A man tried to keep two crows illegally as pets!

He was arrested for attempted m**....

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A m**... most fowl.
(I'll see myself out...)

I called the cops about a m**... on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

Two crows are in jail. What are they in for?

Attempted m**...

What do you call ravens trying to marry crows.

Conspiracy to commit m**....

How come crows never get hit by cars?

Their buddies are up in the trees yelling caaaawr caaawr caaawr.

What is the difference between a raven and a crow??

Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.
So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion

A herd of cattle... A m**... of crows...

...a migraine of children...

What do you call a group of crows who see food?

A tempted m**....
I'll see myself out now.

Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution?

He committed a m**....

It's only a m**... of crows...

... if there's probable caws.

What do you call 2 Crows sat on a branch?

attempted m**....

My friend hated crows so much that he wanted to kill them. One time, I caught him staring intensely at a group of crows...

You could see the m**... in his eyes.

Did you hear about the giant flock of crows who attacked and killed hundreds of people in a church during the sermon?

I called the police to report a m**... in my front yard but they refused to respond

They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself

If a group of crows is a m**......

...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified m**....

A group of crows is called a m**... of crows....

A group of crows aligned evenly to both margins is justified m**....

What do you call a flock of crows eyeing a cake?

A tempted m**....

My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.

Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"
He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."

What's the difference between a rooster and a nymphomaniac?

The rooster crows : **"c**...-a-doodle-doo"**
The nymphomaniac goes :**"Any-c**...-will-dooo"**

I heard two crows got arrested

The charge was attempted m**...

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted m**....

What do you call a plan to kill a bunch of crows that are hanging around on a gravestone?

A plot to m**... a m**... plot's m**....

In a society of crows,

All unsolved crimes are m**... mysteries.

If you see a bunch of b**... birds

Don't automatically assume it's a m**... of crows.
You can't have a m**... without probable caws.

How do the crows in Texas greet each other?


Did you hear why those two crows went to jail?

Attempted m**....

I whisper my sins to crows

So my parents can't hear me confess to a m**...

I saw a m**... on my way home today.

I don't know what was happening but all of a sudden there were hundreds of crows.

Three crows planned a meeting and only two of them showed up

They were charged for attempted m**...

What do you call a group of 10 chickens and 5 crows

A m**... most fowl

A group of crows is called a m**.... What do you call a group of Karens??

A migraine.

What do you call two crows?

Attempted m**....

Why are flights with crows often delayed?

Because they bring a lot of extra carrion luggage.

What do you call a bunch of crows trying to organize a gang?

Attempted m**...

A bunch of crows live in our neighborhood so I am constantly making jokes about "(attempted) m**...."

It's not that funny anymore and it's driving my wife insane, but I'm just setting up a big laugh for when the judge reads the charges against her.

What do you call a group of two crows

Attempted m**...

"Hello police? I'd like to report a m**..."

"For the last time sir, a bunch of crows sitting in a tree isn't a threat to your security"

What do you call a failed gathering of crows?

Attempted m**...

Where do the Asian crows live?

In croatia.

What do you call two crows sitting on a branch

Attempted m**...

A group of dogs is a pack. A group of crows is a m**.... What is a group of Karen's?

A Home Owners Association.

I witnessed an actual m**... in real life and didn't tell anyone about it.

Crows are common in my area so it wasn't a big deal.

what do you call a group of crows and a dead one

a m**... mystery

But is it m**...?

A h**... detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a m**...?" "Well you can't be sure that's a m**...," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."

The difference between ravens and crows

Today I learned there are very few differences between ravens and crows. But one key difference is they have a different amount of tail feathers, so really, the difference is a matter of a pinion.

posted on behalf of my SO

I saw a m**... in a Walmart parking lot yesterday.

There must have been a dozen or more crows gathered around a piece of pizza on the ground.

Crows v. Ravens

A bird watcher walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've always wondered, what's the difference between a crow and a raven?" the bartender asks. "Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3," the bird watcher replies."So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion."

Where do crows go to get drunk?


Before the crowbar was invested

Crows simply drank at home

You know that every time you see a group of crows..

You witness a m**...

Did you know

Before the crowbar crows actually used to drink at home

What do you call a couple crows?

An attempted m**...

A joke my girlfriend told me

Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance
"See that over there? What is that?" Says the first crow
The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. Looks authentic, doesn't it"
"How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person?" Replies the first crow
"Look at it's hand. No cellphone" says the second crow

There was a group of ravens in the park today fighting over a happy meal,

I'd never seen such a great unkindness before; I had thought they were crows until I walked closer, for a second I thought I had witnessed a m**....

A group of bats is a colony, crows is a m**..., sheep is a flock. What is a group of idiots called?

A Freedom Caucus.

LPT: Follow the given three steps in order to successfully accomplish a m**....

1. Set out a few high-mounted boxes with hole in the front of them.
2. Scatter about several boxes filled with cashews.
3. Be sure to do this in a place crows frequent.

What did the man say after getting attacked by crows?

I just got murdered.

Crows joke, I was very upset when I found out that hit song by The Black Crows was actually a cover of Otis Redd

jokes about crows

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crows jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.