Crows Jokes

Following is our collection of buzzards puns and hawks one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crows jokes for adults, dirty cah jokes and clean crow dad gags for kids.

The Best Crows Puns

Did you know that a group of crows is called a murder?

Well, technically it's only a murder if there's probable caws.

I called the cops about a murder on my front lawn and they just hung up.

They said that couldn't do anything about crows and to stop calling.

Crows make black babies. Doves make white babies. What makes no babies?

Swallows.

I called the police to report a murder in my front yard but they refused to respond

They said if I really wanted the crows gone I'd have to do it myself

What do you call two crows sitting in a tree?

Attempted murder


What's the difference between a crow and a raven?

All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.

A little known fact...

Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

What is the difference between a raven and a crow??

Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.

So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion

What kind of crows stick together?

velcrows

What do you call a group of crows who see food?

A tempted murder.

I'll see myself out now.

The difference between a crow and a raven.

A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.


Three crows planned a meeting and only two of them showed up

They were charged for attempted murder

What do you call a group of chickens dressed up like crows?

A murder most fowl.

(I'll see myself out...)

A Psychiatrist is sitting in his office...

When his secretary comes in and says "Sir, there's a man here to see you who thinks he's a flock of crows. If you ask me we should just send him to the loony bin and be done with it."

And the psychiatrist replied "Doris! Are you asking me to commit a murder!?"

My roommate got in trouble with the police because he had two crows in our apartment as pets.

The cops arrested him for attempted murder.

It's only a murder of crows...

... if there's probable caws.

A joke for the cerebral...What do you call it when a bunch of crows agree to meet later?

Premeditated murder.

A man tried to keep two crows illegally as pets!

He was arrested for attempted murder.

If you see a bunch of big black birds

Don't automatically assume it's a murder of crows.

You can't have a murder without probable caws.


My friend hated crows so much that he wanted to kill them. One time, I caught him staring intensely at a group of crows...

You could see the murder in his eyes.

If a group of crows is a murder...

...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

What do you call a flock of crows who are resisting the urge to sin?

*A tempted murder*

A herd of cattle... A murder of crows...

...a migraine of children...

Two crows are loitering in the park; why did they get arrested?

Attempted murder.

A woman is looking at herself in the mirror

"Ugh I look so old! My skin is sagging, my hair is turning gray, I've got crows feet..."

Her husband says, "well, at least your eyesight is intact."

Before the crowbar was invented

Most crows didn't drink.

What's the difference between a rooster and a nymphomaniac?

The rooster crows : **"Cock-a-doodle-doo"**

The nymphomaniac goes :**"Any-Cock-will-dooo"**

A group of crows is called a murder of crows....

A group of crows aligned evenly to both margins is justified murder.

I whisper my sins to crows

So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder

Before the crowbar was invented...

Most crows drank at home

Many ravens are called a congress...

Owls are a parliament, eagles are a convocation and crows are a murder.

Does this mean that a group of vultures are a corporation?

Did you hear about the doctor who sent a group of crows to a mental health institution?

He committed a murder.

I saw a murder on my way home today.

I don't know what was happening but all of a sudden there were hundreds of crows.

My Chinese neighbour said he's just opened a crows shop.

Speaking slowly, I said "you mean a *clothes* shop?"

He says, "No, a crows shop - come in and have a rook."

What do you call a flock of crows eyeing a cake?

A tempted murder.

I heard two crows got arrested

The charge was attempted murder

Two crows are in jail. What are they in for?

Attempted Murder

What do you call a plan to kill a bunch of crows that are hanging around on a gravestone?

A plot to murder a murder plot's murder.

What do you call a group of politically similar crows?

A cawcus

How do the crows in Texas greet each other?

Yee-caw

If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

How come crows never get hit by cars?

Their buddies are up in the trees yelling caaaawr caaawr caaawr.

What do you call ravens trying to marry crows.

Conspiracy to commit murder.

Did you hear why those two crows went to jail?

Attempted murder.

What do you call 2 Crows sat on a branch?

attempted murder.

In a society of crows,

All unsolved crimes are murder mysteries.

I tried to get a group of crows together but they wouldn't cooperate.

It was an attempted murder.

What does your future and a group of crows have in common?

A murder

Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?

It was Mass murder

i told the police that there was a murder of crows on my front lawn but nobody came.

So much for lawn order.

Boston's dead crows

On interstate I-95 running from Boston to New Hampshire they had a problem with crows being hit by vehicles. They were being killed by the hundreds. They hired a professor from MIT to figure out why so many crows were being hit. He discovered that when crows land to feed, they leave one crow in the tree to watch for danger. They found out that the Boston crows could say caw caw but they couldn't say truck truck .

I nearly ran over a couple of crows with my car today.

It was almost a murder.

I witnessed a murder in the park last night and called 911

They told me to stop calling and leave the crows alone.

A group of naturalists found hundreds of dead crows near highways. They began investigating.

They brought an Ornithologist in, who discovered that 90% had been killed by trucks. After some study, they figured out that it was because the crows could say "Caw!" but not "Truck!"

The difference between birds

A new study from a renowned bird journal found the difference between crows and ravens.

Apparently, aside from size, their wings are made differently. The common crow has six pinions per wing, while the raven has only five.

The conclusion: It is only a difference of a pinion.

I saw a murder once

I've never seen so many crows at one time!

A group of crows framed my friend, ultimately leading to his death

I swear I'll find the murder who criminalized him!

I saw a murder today

It was awesome. There must've been 50 crows in it.

Why do you never see crows as road kill?

Because when a car comes by they yell: Caw Caw Caw!

Jokes/Puns!

1. What kind of birds always stick together? VEL CROWS.

2. What is a spider's favorite thing to do? SURF THE WEB.

3. What goes around the cow but never moves? THE FENCE.

4. Why didn't cheddar cheese want to hang out with bleu cheese? BECAUSE HE HAD A MOLDY PERSONALITY.

5. Why do fish swim in schools? BECAUSE THEY CANT WALK IN SCHOOLS.

6. How do you catch a unique rabbit? YOU NIQUE UP ON IT.

A group of crows is called a murder, a group of cows is called a herd. What do you call a group of lesbians?

...a lick.

What do you call a group of crows dressed as geese?

A murder most fowl

Why do crows never get hit by cars?

Because their buddies warn them -- caw, caw, caw!!

It's COVID-19, not CORVID-19. A corvid is of the crow family. 19 crows are not gathering to kill you...

But if they are... its a murder.

A farmer finds a bunch of dead birds in his fields...

He figured it must of been a murder of crows

What does an angry narcissist and a rooster have in common?

When a rooster crows, their hearing closes off so they don't damage their hearing. The narcissist does the same when yelling.

The policeman looked at the tree with the hanging dead body. "It's a murder", he shouted.

The crows flew away.

What do you call a bear covered in a bunch of crows?

A grizzly murder

What do you call a pair of crows?

An attempted murder.

Did you hear about the flock of crows that were sprayed with sewage?

It was a murder most foul.

Names for groups of animals

We all know some of the common names: pride of lions, murder of crows, etc. But some aren't so well known:

construction site of cranes
chomp of alligators
giggle of girls
cancer of lawyers

Two crows were sitting on a bench...

They were arrested for attempted murder.

Why was the policeman sent to talk to a bunch of crows?

Because someone said there was a "murder".

A group of crows killed an innocent person

It really was a murder scene

What happened to the man who sent a group of crows to the insane asylum?

He went to jail because he commit a murder.

There is an abundance of bird jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 75 funniest jokes and crows puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any caw witze you can hear about crows.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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