.When asked why he answered, If I wanted to see a horse's ass, I would have finished second.
...So I slit his throat while he was sleeping to ensure he didn't lay claim to my crown.
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
In *da* pendent
She probably gets royalties
He needed to get a new crown
But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher.
My grandmother died in 1975, but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce. The long walks we used to take to the store on Brunswick Street , the quarters she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or washing the sidewalk…
Those gems were all good, but the one I remember most, the jewel in the crown of grandmotherly advice, occurred when I was only about 10. We were sitting in a park having just finished collecting some 40 soda bottles for the deposit money on a beautiful spring day. She told me that one day, I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.
And remember always this thing, she said. Be sure you marry a woman with small hands.
How come, Grandma? I asked her. She answered in her soft voice..
Makes your dick look bigger.
All of a sudden the grandson turns around and looks around and realizes he can't find his grandpa. A security guard comes up to this little boy and asks...
"Can I help you boy?"
The little boy reply's "I cant find my grandpa!"
So then the security guard asks "Well, whats his name?"
"Um, GRANDPA"
So then the guard ask's, "OK, Well, whats he like?"
The little boy stands there and thinks for a few seconds and says "Crown Royal Whisky, and ladies with big tits."
My Grandma told me this joke a few years ago, it's my favorite!
The Dentist told her she needs a crown.
There once was a man from Port Crown
Who went to a doctor in town.
The doc gave to he
A sup-po-si-to-ry.
"I will not take this sitting down!"
Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.
They see a sign: "Contest for World's Most Beautiful Woman." Snow White goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing a crown.
They walk along and see another sign: "Contest for World's Strongest Man." Superman goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing the belt.
They walk along and see a sign: "Contest for World's Greatest Liar." Pinocchio goes in, later comes out with his head down crying.
"Who the hell is Mitt Romney?" Pinocchio sobs.
Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim
Snow White, Superman and Pinocchio are walking along.
They see a sign: "Contest for World's Most Beautiful Woman." Snow White goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing a crown.
They walk along and see another sign: "Contest for World's Strongest Man." Superman goes in, later comes out smiling, wearing the belt.
They walk along and see a sign: "Contest for World's Greatest Liar." Pinocchio goes in, later comes out with his head down crying.
"Who the hell is Mitt Romney?" Pinocchio sobs.
Dentist: "You need a crown."
-
Patient: "Finally someone who understands me"
There are 3 ninja masters in front of an audience of thousands of people. The first ninja released his fly, drew his sword and cut his fly into 100 even pieces and the crown goes crazy for him. The second ninja releases his fly and then puts his hand over his eye and cuts the fly in half. Again, the crowd goes crazy. The third ninja released his fly, swung his sword at it, and it looked like he missed my a microscopic amount. The crowd was silent. A man in the audience yells, "so you missed, right?" And the ninja quickly replies, "well not really, I kept him alive, however he will never be able to have children".
The Heir Apparent with no Hair Apparent.
He was looking for Finger Prince.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it.)
He was really skeptical about it at first but seeing his friends getting happier after seances he decided to give it a try. Next day he finally met the psychic. She was a woman in her mid thirties wearing some kind of rags and a crown made out of plastic. She got out a crystal ball and started looking at John's future. Suddenly, she started laughing uncontrollably. John got furious and punched her in the nose.
It was the first time John had ever struck a happy medium.
I'm like, "I know, right?!"
It's been 37 years since someone owned horse semen this valuable.
Neigh.
The town casts down frowns when their crown and his clown drowned in the brown.
replying, "If I wanted to see a horse's ass, I would've came in 2nd"
The princess hosting the tournament said "For winning the joust, I shall reward you according to how your name sounds"
The knight replied "Are you sure milady?"
The princess answered "Of course! The previous winner, Silvers Crowne was granted a silver crown like what his name sounds. Now, tell me your name champion."
The knight proudly announced "Milady, my name is Sir Pryce Eynil!!"
In a competitive but fun way to decide which nation was better, Britain and France decided to have a cat race. The French cat was called un deux trois, and the British cat called one two three. Whichever cat made it across the British channel first would win and by doing so would crown their nation superior to the other.
Well, the race started out fairly slowly, but soon things picked up. One two three cat was very fast and easily made it across the channel first, winning the race. Unfortunately, une deux trois quatre cinq.
...Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down!
He wore a crown before it was cool.
I was like, "I know, right?"
He turned down the invitation, saying "if I wanted to see a horse's ass up close I would've come in second."
That is one long-lived horse.
From diamond crown to pearl necklace.
It was a Tudor coup
He was sofa king cool.
Crown Juuls
Did you hear the jockey for Justify (triple crown winner) turned down an invitation to the White House? Said if he wanted to look at a horses ass he would have come in second place!
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Crown? Well, here are the best Crown dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Crown pick up lines to share with friends.