Crouching Jokes
19 crouching jokes and hilarious crouching puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crouching that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Crouching Short Jokes
Short crouching jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crouching humour may include short crawling jokes also.
- A tiger goes to the gym... ... wearing women's underwear underneath his workout clothes.
When he does squats does that make him a crouching tiger with hidden drag on? - Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson. For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.
- You're crouched over mike Tyson picking grass clippings off of his body You're doing the kneel, de-grass Tyson.
- Why were there no tigers and dragons on the movie Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon Because they were crouching...and hidden.
I'll let myself out. - Did you know that Ang Lee made Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon five years before he made Brokeback Mountain? Yeah, working title for the latter film was Crouching Cowboy, Hidden Sausage.
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Crouching One Liners
Which crouching one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crouching? I can suggest the ones about bending over and squat.
- Why did Barty Crouch Jr. stop drinking? It was making him Moody
- Why is a man crouching in the store? Searching for low prices
- How I roll 1. Crouch down.
2. Lean my head forward. - I crouch down, tuck my head. That's how I roll.
- Crouch down and lean forward. That's how I roll.
- Sometimes when I talk to people I start pointing at crouches. (Point)
- How can you stop a baby from crouching clockwards? You stab it's other arm as well
- What kind of citrus crouches to c**...? Cumsquats
Cheeky Crouching Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about crouching you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean camouflage jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crouching pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I walked in last night to find a paramedic crouching over my wife. Get your lips off my wife,
I snapped pulling him off her. But sir, I'm not kissing her! He pleaded. She's stopped breathing.
Do I need to repeat myself?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.
So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men's Helpline
Men's Helpline
"Hello, you have reached the Men's Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men's Help Line
MEN"S HELP LINE, "Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
Caller: "Hi, Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with 'the girls' a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
A priest notices a little boy down the street
Trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring. Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"
To which the boy replies, "Now we run!"
A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning.
A man is taking his dog for a walk through a graveyard early one morning when he sees an elderly man crouched by a gravestone. Not wishing to appear rude the dog-walker greets the elderly man with a cheery:
"Morning!"
The elderly man replies:
"Oh no, just taking a dump."
An English farmer was walking through his field
He spotted a intruder crouched down by his pond. As he approached he realised the man was drinking pond water, cupping his hands.
"Oy ye dinnae wanna drink from there. It be full of hoss an' muck!" shouted the farmer.
The man looked up, startled. "Pardon monsieur but i am french. I am not understand well, please speak slow."
The farmer replied slowly and clearly "I said would you like a cup, you can drink faster that way."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Here's some one line jokes
A guy was crouched next to a grave, so another man walking by inquired "mourning?" to which he replied "no just taking a s**...".
Three girls were walking through a graveyard and they looked scared so I decided to walk then through it. They asked me if I wasn't scared of graveyards I said "I was when I was alive"
A man sat on a grave in the middle of the night, the guard asked him why he was there, he replied "it's way too hot in the grave came here to cool myself"
