Crossword Jokes

Following is our collection of postman puns and quiz one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crossword jokes for adults, dirty riddle jokes and clean jigsaw dad gags for kids.

The Best Crossword Puns

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

Husband doing crossword with wife..

Husband : emphatic no, five letters
 

Wife : never

H : pistol, three letters
 

W : gun

H : disgust, three letters
 

W : ugh

H : charity, four letters
 

W : give

H : female sheep, three letters
 

W : ewe

H : Pixar movie, two letters
 

W : Up

I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked Postman β€” can you help?

She said, Sure. How many letters?

Me: I'm guessingβ€”- Too many.

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?

Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.

Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?

Why couldn't Jesus complete the crossword?

Because he got stuck on 2 across


Jesus was doing a crossword

But he got stuck on 2 across

Why is Jesus bad at crossword puzzles?

He always gets stuck on 2 Across.

The man who invented the crossword also died today

He was buried 6 down and 5 across.

A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.

Husband: Body of water, three letters.

Wife: Bay.

Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.

Wife: Bee.

Husband: To hush someone, four letters.

Wife: shhh.

Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.

Wife: Ark.

Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO

So the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle when a Bishop walks in.

"What is a four letter word for a woman that ends in -unt?" the Pope asks. The Bishop thinks for a minute, afraid to say such a word to the holiest of men. Then a miracle comes to him. "A-unt?" he suggests. "Yes, that fits better, got an eraser?"

"I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'.

I think she's seeking attention.


Wife spices things up!

A wife, worrying about the state of her marriage, decides to spice things up in the bedroom by adding some costume play. She buys a sexy supergirl outfit and when her husband is in bed slips it on. She walks out, poses seductively and says "Superpussy". Her husband, not looking up from his crossword says "I'll have the soup thanks".

Why is Jesus never able to finish more than half of a crossword puzzle?

He always gets stuck on across.

If you see someone doing a crossword

Lean over and tell them seven up is Lemon-lime

Four across...

Two men are sat completing a crossword puzzle on a train, sat across from them is a Priest. The first man starts to scratch his head, and he asks the man across from him:

"A word, four across, ending with unt..."

The other man asks him:

"Well, what's the clue?"

He replies:

"It just says 'a woman,' that's all."

"Aunt?"

"Ah, yes it is!"

The man looks down, nodding in agreement. Across the carriage a feeble voice, the Priest.

"Can I borrow an eraser?"

A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?"

Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."

James Thurber's crossword puzzle.

Laid up in the hospital, James Thurber passed the time doing crossword puzzles.

One day he asked a nurse, What seven-letter word has three u's in it?

She said, I don't know, but it must be unusual.

Jesus is doing fantastically well at this crossword

He's nailed two across.

I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle.

I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was "Dishonestly gaining a advantage," eight letters.

I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.


"I'm stuck on the last piece of a crossword. 12 letters, the clue is: 'getting in your way'".

He said, "That's 'inconvenient'."

I said, "I know. That's why I need your help."

Priest does a crossword puzzle

A gentleman sits next to a priest on an airplane. He sees the priest doing a crossword puzzle.

Time passes and the priest says, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know a four letter word that describes a woman and ends in 'u-n-t'?"

The gentleman thinks about this and finally says, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'"

The priest replies, "Oh, you're right. That fits, too. Would you happen to have an eraser?"

A man is sitting on a plane next to the pope...

The pope was working on a crossword puzzle and the man saw that one of the problems was a four letter word for female that ended in "unt".

The man wanted to help the pope, but really didn't want to say the answer. Finally, after thinking and thinking, the man tells the pope "aunt". The pope thanks the man and erases his answer.

Two blondes were doing a crossword.

One asks, "How do you spell paint"? The other one replies,

"What colour"??

My dad's answer to everything is alcohol.

He doesn't drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.

Patient: my crossword is making me depressed

Doctor: try not to get two down

I'm making my own Crossword Puzzle but I'm struggling to think up a clue for 3 down, 'Armageddon'.

Ah well, it's not the end of the world.

I was having some trouble with a crossword.

I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"

"Avenue?"

"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."

I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles.

Does that make me erasist?

The inventor of the crossword puzzle lives near me.

Street's three across and two down.

I met the inventor of the crossword last week.

Can't remember his name. P something T something R.

Crossword expert dies

He was buried 6 down, 3 across.

How did the priest finish the crossword puzzle?

He got 2 across.

A blonde is about to solve a crossword...

... but still misses some answers.

She asks for a help her best friend,

"Jane, could you help me solving this pls. - the clue says 'Feminine intercourse part' - with 4 letters.."

"Across or down?" asks her friend.

"It's across"

"Then it should be lips"

Two blondes solving a crossword

Two blondes are spending some time together, the one is watching TV while the other struggles with one particular crossword question for some time now...
After a while she decides to ask her friend for help..
- Do you know the answer to the clue "Female sex organ"?
-- Hmmmm. Horizontally or vertically?
- Horizontally
-- Oh yes! "Mouth"

Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person

Fork

I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help

I asked him, "Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"
He said, "Monumental!"
I replied, "No, I'm not."

A man was sitting next to the Pope on an airplane.

The Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. Suddenly, the Pope turns to the man and asks, "My son, do you know a four letter word referring to a woman?"

The man, having just gotten out of a terrible relationship, could easily think of one, but he knew the Pope wouldn't appreciate it. Instead, he says, "Father, the word you are looking for is 'aunt'."

"Ah," said the Pope. "I don't suppose you have an eraser?"

Crossword solving husband

Husband doing crossword with his wife

Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.

Wife: Never

H: Pistol, 3 letters.

W: Gun

H: Disgust, 3 letters.

W: Ugh

H: Charity, 4 letters.

W: Give

H: Female sheep, 3 letters

W: Ewe

H: Pixar movie, 2 letters

W: Up

A Wrong Answer

While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.

"The word is eight letters long and starts with m, and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"

"Monogamy," he answered

The Pope and one of the Cardinals were sitting around doing crossword puzzles.

The Pope says, "Can you think of a four-letter word meaning 'woman' that ends with the letters, U-N-T?"

The Cardinal thinks for a moment. "Why yes, father. That would be 'AUNT'"

The Pope laughs, "YES! Of course! ...ha ha ha..." (pause) "Got an eraser?"

Did you hear about the crossword puzzle enthusiast who recently died?

He was buried 4 down and six across.

If you see someone doing a crossword puzzle

Whisper in their ear, 7 up is lemonade.

Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 across "where they nailed Jesus"?

Why do ghosts like to haunt pubs?

For the boos!


*^i'm ^^so ^^^sorry*

This was actually in a crossword puzzle I did recently.

got in trouble for helping an African co-worker with the crossword during break.

apparently the answer to the clue, Word with "black" or "photo", is not "shoot".

A woman is solving a crossword and asks her husband "What is a five-letter word for a man who is about to get married?"

"That's easy," he replies. "It's 'idiot'."

I told my wife to quit thinking outside the box.

So she bought a new refrigerator and did a crossword puzzle inside the carton.

Guy sits next to a priest doing the crossword

Priest says: "You know a four letter word for 'type of woman', last three letters u-n-t?"
Guy replies: "Aunt."
Priest pauses, says: "Got an eraser?"

What did the dad say when his daughter asked for help with a crossword puzzle?

"That's not my across to bear."

The guy who invented the crossword is buried in my town's cemetery...

His grave is the 7th one down and the 3rd one across.

There is an abundance of layout jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 50 funniest jokes and crossword puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any vowels witze you can hear about crossword.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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