Crossword Jokes
75 crossword jokes and hilarious crossword puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crossword that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a fun way to challenge your crossword skills? Check out these hilarious jokes for crossword puzzles - from practical crosswords made from alphabetical sequences to more dated crossword clues from postman days. Put your crossword skills to the test and have a laugh at the same time!
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Funniest Crossword Short Jokes
Short crossword jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crossword humour may include short wordplay jokes also.
- I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked postman — can you help? She said, Sure. How many letters?
Me: I'm guessing—- Too many. - I asked my German friend, What's a three letter word for compete? Friend: Vie.
Me: Because I'm trying to finish a crossword. - "I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'. I think she's seeking attention.
- Did you hear about the crossword experts that prevented a group of people from jumping off a bridge? They got 6 Down and 3 Across.
- A cyclops was doing a crossword puzzle and asked his wife, "Hun, how do you spell Hawaii?" Biting her lip, she replied, "I think you need 2 'i's."
- "I'm stuck on the last piece of a crossword. 12 letters, the clue is: 'getting in your way'". He said, "That's 'inconvenient'."
I said, "I know. That's why I need your help." - Two blondes were doing a crossword. One asks, "How do you spell paint"? The other one replies,
"What colour"?? - I'm doing a crossword, and I'm stuck on seven down. It's seven letters long and the clue is Lemonade drink, not Sprite . Oh no wait sorry that's not seven down, that's Seven Up.
- The inventor of the crossword puzzle moved into my neighbourhood. He lives five streets down and two houses across.
- I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, "Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"
He said, "Monumental!"
I replied, "No, I'm not."
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Crossword One Liners
Which crossword one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crossword? I can suggest the ones about spelling word and scrabble.
- Why couldn't Jesus complete the crossword? Because he got stuck on 2 across
- The man who invented the crossword also died today He was buried 6 down and 5 across.
- If you see someone doing a crossword Lean over and tell them seven up is Lemon-lime
- Jesus is doing fantastically well at this crossword He's nailed two across.
- What is God's favorite puzzle? Crosswords.
- Patient: my crossword is making me depressed Doctor: try not to get two down
- How did the priest finish the crossword puzzle? He got 2 across.
- Can anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle? 2 across "where they nailed Jesus"?
- What did the disciples do while waiting for Jesus to die? They played crosswords.
- Why shouldn't you bug anyone working on puzzles? You'll probably end up with crosswords
- I'm incredible at crosswords.
- What does my crossword mean when it says Postman's sack? Letters: Hundreds
- What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue? I don't know
- The first rule of crossword club is (3,2,3,4,5,9,4)
- Crossword clue: F**k, used by Gordon Ramsay a lot more than the average person Fork
Crossword Puzzle Jokes
Here is a list of funny crossword puzzle jokes and even better crossword puzzle puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My dad's answer to everything is alcohol. He doesn't drink, it's just that he's really bad at crossword puzzles.
- I'm making my own Crossword Puzzle but I'm struggling to think up a clue for 3 down, 'Armageddon'. Ah well, it's not the end of the world.
- I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles. Does that make me erasist?
- A Wrong Answer While doing a crossword puzzle, I asked for my husband's help.
"The word is eight letters long and starts with m, and the clue is 'tiresome sameness.'"
"Monogamy," he answered - Why do ghosts like to haunt pubs? For the boos!
*^i'm ^^so ^^^sorry*
This was actually in a crossword puzzle I did recently. - I told my wife to quit thinking outside the box. So she bought a new refrigerator and did a crossword puzzle inside the carton.
- What did the dad say when his daughter asked for help with a crossword puzzle? "That's not my across to bear."
- Why is McGregor a crossword puzzle boxer? You enter the ring vertical and leave horizontal!
Crossword Clue Jokes
Here is a list of funny crossword clue jokes and even better crossword clue puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a stable female? A mare.
(This was a clue on the Daily Crossword app today which I couldn't figure out. I thought it was cute.) - got in trouble for helping an African co-worker with the crossword during break. apparently the answer to the clue, Word with "black" or "photo", is not "shoot".
Comical Crossword Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about crossword you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jigsaw puzzle jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crossword pranks.
Johny went to the butchery, because he wanted to buy a little brain, so he has asked the saleswoman: "have you got a little brain?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, we have."
Johny has asked her: "and is the little brain still fresh?"
The saleswoman has said: "yes, yesterday he has successfully solved the crossword puzzles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife spices things up!
A wife, worrying about the state of her marriage, decides to spice things up in the bedroom by adding some costume play. She buys a s**... supergirl outfit and when her husband is in bed slips it on. She walks out, poses seductively and says "Superpussy". Her husband, not looking up from his crossword says "I'll have the soup thanks".
James Thurber's crossword puzzle.
Laid up in the hospital, James Thurber passed the time doing crossword puzzles.
One day he asked a nurse, What seven-letter word has three u's in it?
She said, I don't know, but it must be unusual.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde is about to solve a crossword...
... but still misses some answers.
She asks for a help her best friend,
"Jane, could you help me solving this pls. - the clue says 'Feminine i**... part' - with 4 letters.."
"Across or down?" asks her friend.
"It's across"
"Then it should be lips"
So the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle when a Bishop walks in.
"What is a four letter word for a woman that ends in -unt?" the Pope asks. The Bishop thinks for a minute, afraid to say such a word to the holiest of men. Then a miracle comes to him. "A-unt?" he suggests. "Yes, that fits better, got an eraser?"
I met the inventor of the crossword last week.
Can't remember his name. P something T something R.
I was having some trouble with a crossword.
I said to my dad, "I'm stuck on this crossword. Six letters, a broad road in a town or city. I still haven't got it!"
"Avenue?"
"No, I haven't, stop rubbing it in."
Four across...
Two men are sat completing a crossword puzzle on a train, sat across from them is a Priest. The first man starts to scratch his head, and he asks the man across from him:
"A word, four across, ending with unt..."
The other man asks him:
"Well, what's the clue?"
He replies:
"It just says 'a woman,' that's all."
"Aunt?"
"Ah, yes it is!"
The man looks down, nodding in agreement. Across the carriage a feeble voice, the Priest.
"Can I borrow an eraser?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes solving a crossword
Two blondes are spending some time together, the one is watching TV while the other struggles with one particular crossword question for some time now...
After a while she decides to ask her friend for help..
- Do you know the answer to the clue "Female s**... o**..."?
-- Hmmmm. Horizontally or vertically?
- Horizontally
-- Oh yes! "Mouth"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Pope and one of the Cardinals were sitting around doing crossword puzzles.
The Pope says, "Can you think of a four-letter word meaning 'woman' that ends with the letters, U-N-T?"
The Cardinal thinks for a moment. "Why yes, father. That would be 'AUNT'"
The Pope laughs, "YES! Of course! ...ha ha ha..." (pause) "Got an eraser?"
Friends do crosswords
Friend 1: emphatic NO, five letters
Friend 2: Never
Friend 1: firearm, three letters
Friend 2: Gun
Friend 1: disgust, three letters
Friend 2: ugh
Friend 1: form of charity, four letters
Friend 2: give
Friend 1: female sheep, three letters
Friend 2: ewe
Friend 1: Pixar movie, two letters
Friend 2: up
I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle.
I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was "Dishonestly gaining a advantage," eight letters.
I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
A man is doing a crossword and asks his wife for help.
Husband: Body of water, three letters.
Wife: Bay.
Husband: Flying insect with stinger, three letters.
Wife: Bee.
Husband: To hush someone, four letters.
Wife: shhh.
Husband: Boat Noah built, three letters.
Wife: Ark.
Husband: DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO DOO
This is a good joke to play on others. Pretend you're trying to solve a crossword puzzle- and say aloud "Postman -blank-. Any ideas?"
They'll likely say something like "Postman Pat" to which you reply- "no that doesn't fit.".
Then- if they're not completely thick- they should ask "How many letters?" and you tell 'em "A SACKFUL!"
Then they'll leave in disgust.
What do clowns fill their cars with?
Laughing gas!
-----------
This has probably been made before, but I just thought of it after my mom, while doing her crossword puzzle, said aloud "fuel for a funny car" and I suggested laughing gas. It wasn't the right answer, unfortunately.
Me - What's a 3 letter word for compete?
Dracula - Vie.
Me - It's for a crossword.
I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.
My friend asked for help with a crossword:
Friend: 4 down - Busy postman
Me: How many letters?
Friend: Loads, I guess
Crossword
The Pope is doing a crossword puzzle at the Vatican. He turns to the Cardinal and asks, What is a word for a woman that ends in 'u-n-t'?
The Cardinal says, Aunt.
The Pope says, Got an eraser?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?"
She replied, "You need two i's."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Reminiscing about my mother...
She would always say 'It's now or never'.
Wonderful woman, absolutely s**... at crosswords.
Stuck on a crossword.. according to the saying, these should be seen but not heard 8 letters, starts with a C.
I got it, Coldplay.
I went to the doctors because I was sad I couldn't complete the crossword..
He told me not to get 2 down
I was doing the crossword puzzle at breakfast and asked my wife for some help.
I asked, "What's a word used to express a lack of understanding?"
She said "Huh?"
I said, "What's a word used to express a lack of understanding?"
She said "Huh?"
I tried one more time, "What's a word used to express a lack of understanding?"
For some reason, she got up and stormed out of the kitchen. So now I'm in trouble and I still haven't finished my puzzle. Not a great start to the day...
