Crosswalk Jokes
9 crosswalk jokes and hilarious crosswalk puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crosswalk that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Rib-Tickling Crosswalk Jokes that Bring Friends Together
What is a good crosswalk joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My 93-year-old grandma has rheumatoid arthritis and is slow at crosswalks. Yesterday, she got hit by a car.
She's perfectly fine -- she has an auto-immune disease!
What do you get when you dip a chicken in paint?
A crosswalk.
Why did Jesus cross the road?
He saw a crosswalk.
Why does Jesus Jaywalk?
Because he hates crosswalks
A snail decides to buy a car...
There's this snail. All his life, all he's ever wanted was a little red corvette, convertible, with a b**... "S" painted on the hood. He saves and saves and finally buys his life-long dream. He pulls out of the dealership and his driving down the street, proud as can be. Two guys, waiting at a crosswalk, spot the snail in his new car, and one says to the other, "hey man, look at that S car go!!!"
A guy gets into work late one day, clearly upset.
His co-worker asks him Hey Jim, what happened, man? Why are you late?
I got a flat on the way in. Cost me at least an hour dealing with it, Jim grumbles.
How'd you get a flat?
Eh, I ran over a bottle in the middle of a crosswalk.
In the middle of a crosswalk? Didn't you see it?
Nah - d**... kid had it under his coat.
California Roll
A man driving approaches a stop sign and slows down to a cool 5 mph, rolls smoothly across the crosswalk, looks both ways, and glides forward when he sees the coast is clear.
Unbeknownst to him, a cop sees this and pulls him over on the next block.
The cop pulls the guy out of the car and starts beating him.
The guy starts yelling "Stop! STOP!! What are you doing?! Stop!!!"
"Oh I'm sorry, did you want me to stop or slow down?"
My Family was mourning the recent loss of my Brother in Law
"I can't believe he's gone" my Wife said
"Me Neither, and to think i just ran into him the other day". i said
"Oh Dear, I cant believe he's just gone all of the sudden, he was always such a stubborn person"
"Yeah i know, He didn't move an inch when i ran into him at the crosswalk".
How do you know a Chinese moved to your neighborhood?
The black people start using the crosswalks
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