Crossing The Road Jokes
80 crossing the road jokes and hilarious crossing the road puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crossing the road that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Crossing The Road Short Jokes
Short crossing the road jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crossing the road humour may include short crossing the street jokes also.
- One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar. Then I realized my whole life was a joke.
- Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- Why did the EA executive cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass! - From my 9 year old yesterday... Why did the chicken cross the road?
To visit the idiot...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken. - Why did the feminist cross the road? It doesn't matter. Women have the right to cross roads without having their motives questioned.
- A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, I don't know. It all happened so fast.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
- Why Did the mother in law cross the road? She thought it was a boundary.
- Turkey cross the road Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
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Crossing The Road One Liners
Which crossing the road one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crossing the road? I can suggest the ones about crossing road and cross the road.
- Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- Why did Bill Barr gas protestors? So the chicken could cross the road
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
- Why the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
- Why did the vegan cross the road? To tell someone he was a vegan.
- Why did princess Diana cross the road She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
- Why did the console gamer cross the road To render the other side
- Why did the gamer cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out
- Why did Goku cross the road? Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
- Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road? Idk, it's beyond meat.
- Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She didn't wear a seatbelt.
- Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
- Why did the double agent cross the road? Because he never really was on your side.
Chicken Crossing The Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken crossing the road jokes and even better chicken crossing the road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I grilled a chicken for 2 hours. It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
- A Duck is about to cross the road When a chicken runs out to stop him screaming "Don't do it man - you'll never hear the end of it!"
- Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
- A duck was waiting to cross the road, when a chicken came running up. "Whatever you do, don't do it!" shouted the chicken. "You'll never hear the end of it!"
- Why did the turkey cross the road twice? To prove to everyone he wasn't chicken
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the dummies house.
Knock knock... Who's there?
A chicken.
My 6 year old nephew's favorite joke. Tells it every chance he gets. - Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion player.
- A chicken walks up to a duck that's considering crossing the road. Don't do it, pal, the chicken says, you'll never hear the end of it.
- I grilled a chicken for over two hours last night... he still wouldn't tell me why he crossed the road
Hilarious Crossing The Road Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about crossing the road you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cross the street jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crossing the road pranks.
Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.
Policeman: How could you kill...
...69 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80km/h when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realized they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran towards the wedding party so l followed him.
A driver was arrested after a deadly accident...
Policeman: How could you kill 49 people? What the h**... is wrong with you?
Driver: I was driving at 80 km/h when I saw two men crossing the Road. On the road side, there was a wedding party. I wanted to apply the Breaks, but then I realised they were not working. So, I had to take a decision; either hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Policeman: You could have hit the 2 men!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other one ran towards the wedding party. So I followed him. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Dad and son octopus crossing the road, dad said to his son:
gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, gimme your hand. (Courtesy of my 1st grader).
A mugged turtle..
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, I don't know. It all happened so fast.
A taxi driver was being interrogated after an accident.
Police Officer: So, how did you kill 59 people?
Taxi Driver: I was driving at 80km/h, when I saw two men crossing the road. On the other side, a wedding was taking place. I hit the brakes, but they failed.
Police Officer: And?
Taxi Driver: So, I had to make the choice of either hitting the two men, or the wedding party.
Police Officer: You hit the two men, of course!
Taxi Driver: Exactly! We think alike! Problem was, after hitting one of the men, the other escaped to the wedding party, so I went after him.
I was wondering why people keep looking at the cars while crossing the road
Then it hit me.
A tortoise is crossing the road when he is robbed by two snails.
When the police show up, they ask the tortoise if he can identify the culprits.
The tortoise, still shaking from the incident, cries 'It all happened so fast!'.
An Australian man has just arrived to America
An Australian man has just arrived to America and almost got hit by a car while crossing the road.
The American driver got out of his car very angrily and yelled:
"Did you come here to die?!"
"No, I came here yesterday."
TIL The chicken crossing the road jokes real meaning
To get to the other side was also a comment on the afterlife, as in the "other side" as in knowing he'd die crossing the road. I'm 37, heard this joke so many times, and not once put this together till now. /mind blown
Why did the toilet paper have trouble crossing the road?
It got stuck in a crack
Two atoms were crossing the road...
...when the first atom screams "Ahhhhh! I lost an electron".
The second atom asks "Are you sure?"
to which the first atom replied "Yes, I'm positive."
A blonde crossing the road gets hit by a truck....
The truck driver jumps out to check on her.
Are you all right? he asks.
Everything is just a blur, says the blonde as she's lying in the street.
The man holds his hand in front of her face and asks, How many fingers have I got up?
Oh, no! she yells. Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down too!
What Do They Tell Musicians About Crossing the Road?
C sharp or you'll B flat.
A woman was being interviewed during a driving test
Officer: You are driving a car down the road, you see your husband and your brother crossing the road from opposite lanes.
What will you hit first?
Woman: Husband! My husband!
Officer: This is the third time I'm telling you madam, you hit the brakes first!
A turkey tries crossing the road
But a chicken stops him and says 'Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it.'
Traditional joke from my childhood... I am the first person to translate this to English LoL
There was a young boy that always struggled to cross the road, every time he tried to cross the road he got hit by a car...
One time he was crossing the road and he made it to the other side!
He jumped for joy!
...He got hit by a plane midair.
Why was the blue jay arrested for crossing the road?
Because jaywalking is i**....
What do you call a chicken with no legs?
A speedbump because it isn't crossing the road in time.
Why is crossing the road similar to music?
If you don't C# you'll B*b*
There was once a very unlucky man
Crossing the road , he got hit by a truck .
Then on his way to heaven , got hit by a plane
A chicken crossing the road is ...
... truly poultry in motion.
2020 was like looking both ways before crossing the road.
And getting hit by an airplane.
An old man was looking at the sky and crossing the road...
A motorcyclist was about to hit him... he managed to avoid him and yelled at the old man, "Look where you are going or go where your are looking "
Translated from Marathi. I heard it from a friend.
A tortoise was crossing the road, when two snails mugged him.
The police arrived and asked what the muggers looked like.
Shaken, the tortoise said "I don't know. It all happened so fast!"
I don't look both ways when crossing the road...
Worst case scenario, I live.
Just had to stop for a donkey crossing the road.
Cool thing was he looked both ways before he crossed.
What a smart a**....
What did the Tomato say to his family crossing the road
Catch-up
The chicken came first...
The egg had some difficulty crossing the road.
A man and his wife just had an argument, and are very angry with each other.
The man is driving his wife to a family gathering when they suddenly see a herd of pigs crossing the road in front of them. Seizing the chance, the husband cheerily asks:
- "Hey, look! Are they some relatives of yours?
And his wife quickly replies,
- "Yeah, my parents-in-law!"
Two std's crossing the road.
All of a sudden a lorry approached at a very high speed.
One says to the other I think I am a gonorrhoea.
How is crossing the road like music?
You better C# or else you'll B♭!
My grandfather told me that a baby crying was the most painful thing in the world...
So I threw one at a guy crossing the road
A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, Did you get a look at the driver? No, he said, but I can tell you it was my ex-wife.
How do you know that? asked the officer.
I'd recognize her laugh anywhere!
I don't find cigarette jokes funny because a close relative died due to smoking
He was crossing the road, stopped to light a cigarette and got hit by a bus.
Who is the most politically neutral person in the world?
A pedestrian crossing the road.
He looks left, right and walks straight.
Sorry
What do you call a president crossing the road?
A presidestrian
What's a coward on one side, has guts all over in the middle, and doesn't exist on the other side?
The chicken crossing the road who got hit by a truck halfway across.
Teacher asks the student:
Teacher asks the student: Why are you so late?!
Student: Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says School ahead, go slowly!
What do you feel when you accidentally run over and kill a group of geese crossing the road?
Goosebumps
jew crossing the road!
why did the jew cross the road?
-so he can get to the geno-side of the road.
A mathematician was crossing the road
when a car blew past 1 foot in front of him and another 1 foot behind him.
He was standing on the Median and died instantly.
2 VD germs
2 VD germs crossing the road and a big lorry hurtles towards them. One says to the other 'Looks like we're a goner ear.:
Two tomatoes were crossing the road as one got crushed by a car
The other tomato said Come on, ketchup!
Why does a centrist only look one way before crossing the road?
Because both sides are the same.
What did the Tomatodad say to the Tomatoson when he was slower than him when crossing the road?
"Son, you're like dogshit, always in the middle of the road.
An Asian driver is being interrogated after an accident
Detective: So, how did you end up killing 49 people?
Jackie: I was driving over 90km/h when I saw 2 men crossing the road. And on the other side, there was a wedding taking place. I hit the brakes but they failed, so I had to make a choice:
Either I hit the 2 men or run into the wedding party.
Detective: Hit the 2 men of course.
Chan: Exactly! We think alike. But after hitting one, the other man escaped into the wedding party, so I went after him.
Hit a rooster
A traveling salesman was driving through farm country. He took his eye off the road for a second, then all of a sudden "WHAM!" -- he ran over a rooster crossing the road.
He stopped the car, got out, confirmed the rooster was dead, and saw a nearby farmhouse. He drove up to the house, knocked on the door, and an old farmer answered. The salesman said, "I was driving past and I think I accidentally ran over your rooster. I'm terribly sorry, but I'm more than willing to replace him."
The farmer looked puzzled for a minute, and finally shrugged his shoulders and said "Suit yourself. The hens are around the back."
Two biscuits were crossing the road...
One gets run over, the other shouts "crumbs!"
A 54 year old woman had a heart atack.
She was taken to the hospital for surgery. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up yet?" God said, "No, you have another 34 years to live". Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, and changed her hair color. Finally she was released from the hospital. While crossing the road on her way home she was killed by a truck. Arriving in front of God in heaven she asked "You said I had another 34 years to live, why didn't you save me from the truck?" God said "I could not recognize you"
Fowl Play
A rooster, A chicken, and a crow walk into a bar. The crow orders a goose island, the Chicken a cocktail, and the rooster a shot of wild turkey. The rooster takes a sip and then tells a joke about a chicken crossing the road. The chicken looks at him in disgust and slams down the cocktail grabs the rooster by the t**... and says you c**... s**... you think that's funny? The rooster tries to crow but can't. The chicken murders the rooster and the crow being to chicken to do anything flys out of the bar. The Chicken goes after the crow but as he is trying to cross the road he hears a loud "Beep, Beep!" and gets hit by a roadrunner instantly dies. The road runner distraught from hitting the chicken goes to the bar and orders a wild coyote, plays angry birds on his iphone and thinks to himself "What a dumb mother clucker".
Why did the priest cross the road ??
To screw in the children that were crossing the road
Once upon a time...
Once upon a time in a magical land, there lived a snake named Nate. In this land, actually rather close to Nates house, there was a lever. The lever was ancient, and the myth around the was that if you were to push it, it would trigger the end of the world. One day, Nate was slithering down the road. When he came upon the lever, he began crossing the road so he could get a look at it. At the same moment, a truck came zooming around the corner, and the driver found himself in a dilemma: either hit the lever, and end the world or hit the snake and run him over. Needless to say, the driver ran over Nate and went on his merry way. What's the moral of this story?
Better Nate than lever.
