Crossfit Jokes

Following is our collection of exercise puns and pilates one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crossfit jokes for adults, dirty christ jokes and clean workout dad gags for kids.

The Best Crossfit Puns

Why did Jesus look so ripped during Crucifixion?


How did Jesus get in such good shape?


What kind of exercise did Jesus do?


A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...

Oh, they already told you about it too?

Have you ever noticed that Jesus on the cross always looks great, with amazing abs?

He was the original cross-fit.

Why do crucifixion depictions always portray Jesus as muscular?


How did Jesus exercise?


How does Jesus stay in shape?

He does crossfit.

How did Jesus get those sexy messiah abs?

He did crossfit.

How did Jesus keep his form?

He did cross-fit.

Why did Jesus start doing P90X after he was resurrected?

Crossfit was killing him

Just tried to kill a roach with axe body spray... his name is Brett and he won't shut up about cross-fit.

Why is Jesus Christ so buff?


How did Jesus keep in such great shape?


How did Jesus get so muscular and shredded?


What is the first rule of CrossFit?

Always talk about CrossFit.

What fitness plan did Jesus manage to stick to?


A crossfitter, a Texan, and a vegan walk into a bar. How do you know?

They all tell you within 3 seconds.

I recently joined a support group for people who peaked in high school.

It's called Crossfit

The origin of CrossFit can be traced all the way back to ancient Rome.

Take Jesus for example, he fit nicely on that cross.

Have you ever met a vegan that does crossfit?

Oh you'd know if you had.

What workout routine did Jesus stick to best?


Why was Jesus in such good shape when he died?

He was Cross-Fit.

A Vegan who is also gluten intolerant walks up to you. What is the first thing they say to you?

"I crossfit"

What is Jesus' favorite exercise routine?


Did you know Jesus has nice abs?

He does crossfit.

What is The Pope's favorite workout program?


Offensive Easter Joke

Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?

A: Crossfit

Did you hear about the vegan who does CrossFit?

Yeah so did I.

Who was the strongest person in the Bible?

Jesus, he did CrossFit.

A crossfiter, a vegan, and an atheist walk into a bar...

I know this because they won't shut up about it.

What did Jesus do to lose weight?


How can you tell if someone does CrossFit?

They will tell you in every conversation.

Why Did Jesus Have Perfect Abs?

He did CrossFit.

If a vegan does crossfit...

...which one does he tell you about first?

Why is Jesus so strong?


A crossfitter, a vegan, and a trump supporter walk into a bar

I only know because they told everyone who was there.

What was Jesus's favorite exercise program?


How did Jesus get in such good shape to always have a six-pack in his paintings?


What do you call Jesus' exercise routine?


Did you hear that Jesus had to quit working out?

Yeah, he did crossfit for so long, it took him three days to recover

My sister told me about a christian motivational group that came to her school. She said they were super strong but didn't lift weights.

So I figured they must do crossfit.

Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but...

He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*

Why was Jesus ripped at his crucifixion?

Because he was cross-fit!

How can you tell when someone does crossfit?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

The next time you've had a bad day....

....just remember out there some schmuck just started Crossfit.

How was Jesus Christ so ripped?

You never see Jesus Christ rockin a dad bod. How was it that Jesus Christ kept so toned and shredded?


What's the hardest part about being a Vegan who does Crossfit and owns a Rescue dog?

Deciding which to tell people first.

What's worse than finding a dead crossfitter hanging in the cables?


Crossfit died out

The other day n the train:
Girl : *sneezes
me: "Bless You!"
Girl : I Have a Boyfriend

a few rows behind us: "I'm vegan"

I just learned that there are rules to doing crossfit

The first rule of crossfit is "you always tell people you are doing crossfit"

The second rule of crossfit is "you always tell people you are doing crossfit"

How do you know someone's an atheist vegan engineer who does crossfit?

Don't worry, you'd know

What do you call an exercise group run by Jesus Christ?


What's the difference between a vegan, a crossfit instructor, and a psychological test subject?

The test subject is the only one you'd willingly ask to "tell us about yourself."

Why was Jesus I such good shape?


Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much?

He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

If someone is a vegan, does crossfit, and has a rescue dog....

which one do they tell you about first?

Jesus decided to try a new exercise routine

Apparently CrossFit didnt work out

West Coast problems

If you meet a vegan, and they do crossfit, which do they talk about first?

If a vegan does crossfit, which do they talk about first?

Their iPhone.

I started crossfit yesterday

And my throat is killing me

You know who you are....

I had a party at my house and a buddy of mine walked over to me from the crowd. I said do you know those three people that just walked in? He said to me "...the guy who does CrossFit, the vegetarian and the atheist?" I looked at him quizzically and said "Do you know them?" "No, not at all" He quipped, "it was literally the first thing they said when they walked in the door."

A vegan and a crossfit walk into a bar

A vegan and a crossfit walk into a bar. how do i know that it was a vegan and a crossfit? they told everyone

I now understand why people talk about crossfit so much.

Jesus did it, got eternal life, and people worship him. Who wouldn't like that?

How do you know if a vegan is at your party?

He'll interrupt your story about crossfit.

What type of exercise plan did Jesus follow?


Have you seen Jesus's abs?!!

He must be doing that Cross-Fit workout!

What's the downside of being a crossfit couple?

After sex: I didn't know we were doing that for time too.

Will be opening up a Christian gym soon.

Can't decide what to call it, Jehovah's Fitness, or CrossFit.

Why is crucified Jesus always depicted with six pack abs?

He did CrossFit.

A crossfitter walks into a bar

his friends find him and say WOD happened?

I went to a Crossfit camp out...

It was in tents.

A feminist, a vegan, and a person who does CrossFit walk into a bar.

I know this because they didn't shut up about it the entire night.

What's the worst part about doing crossfit?

Having to shop at Kid's GAP.

What's the hardest part about winning crossfit?

Being 5 foot 6

What is Jesus' favorite exercise regimen?


Jesus was the original crossfit.

A crossfitter, a vegan, and an atheist are in a bar

You know this because it's the first thing they say when they walk in

How do you pick up a gluten-free, crossfit, vegan?

No idea it's been two hours and I haven't gotten a word in edgewise yet.

Have you heard about that IT guy working for Hillary?

He recently got into crossfit and has never worked out before. Suffered a "heart attack from over exertion..."

There is an abundance of bodybuilding jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 79 funniest jokes and crossfit puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any gym witze you can hear about crossfit.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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