Crossed Finish Jokes
19 crossed finish jokes and hilarious crossed finish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crossed finish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Crossed Finish Short Jokes
Short crossed finish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crossed finish humour may include short finish line jokes also.
- I just finished a long article about the different myths behind Jesus' death and resurrection. There was a lot of ….. cross referencing.
- Why couldn't the ghostbusters ever finish Oregon Trail? Because they couldn't cross the streams.
- I just found out that no lines of latitude pass through Finland! As they cross the border, that's the Finish line.
- which came first, the chicken or the egg? the chicken, silly! eggs don't have legs, so it would still be stuck on the starting line when the chicken crossed the finish.
- COVID-19 news: Finland forced to close their borders again No one will be crossing the finish line.
- I just barely crossed the finish line in a Law and Order 5k race. I would have got first, but the cops beat me to it.
- Maybe Russia is in a huge marathon that ends with, invading Finland. And crossing the finish line.
- The day of the Boston massacre as soon I heard about I said that some lines just shouldn't be crossed especially not the finish line I will give credit where credit is to : Anthony Jeselnik
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Crossed Finish One Liners
Which crossed finish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crossed finish? I can suggest the ones about crossover and crossed border.
- There are some lines that I never cross Such as Zeno's finish line.
- What do you get when a pair of shoes crosses the finish line together? Tied shoes
Happy Crossed Finish Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about crossed finish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cross walk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crossed finish pranks.
Clean Shave
An old drover walks into a barber shop in Black Stump Crossing, NT, Aussie, for a shave and a haircut.
He tells the barber he can't get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age.
The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells the old drover to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin.
When he's finished, the old drover tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he'd had in yonks, but he wanted to know what would have happened if he had accidentally swallowed that little ball.
The barber replied, "Just bring it back in a couple of days like everyone else does."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you see that Olympic downhill skier who actually crossed the finish line backwards?
He came in last...b**... first...
On the day of my big job interview I woke up late.
Frantically I threw on a suit.
"OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!"
I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
"Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!"
"Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench."
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
"Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied.
"What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously.
"I ran a morgue." was the reply.
Did Batman kill Joker in killing joke
That’s why it’s called 'The Killing Joke.' The Joker tells the ‘Killing Joke’ at the end, Batman reaches out and breaks his neck, and that’s why the laughter stops and the light goes out, ’cause that was the last chance at crossing that bridge. And Alan Moore wrote the ultimate Batman/Joker story — he finished it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A tale of two r**...
Two r**... live on either side of a river. One named Billy, the other named Clarence. Well, every day the both go to the bank on their side of the river and yell insults at each other. One day, a construction company moves in a builds a bridge accross the river. Billy wakes up one morning and sees the newly finished bridge and declares to his wife "I'm gonna go beat up that Clarence feller once and fer all!" He sets out for the bridge, but, just as he's about to cross, he sees a sign and reads to himself "Clarence: 8 ft." Needless to say he decided beating Clarence up wasn't such a good idea.
Not my own joke. Heard in on a bus trip.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
u**... race.
I was at a group thing and we went on break. Some dude and I got to neighboring urinals and in unison our pee hit the water at the same time. We both knew one thing, the race was on!
The race was a dead heat. Both of us were expelling as fast as we could. I could hear the pressure increasing as we both of us wanted that win.
The winner of a foot race can be designated by the one who crosses the finish line first. In that respect I won.
The winner of a drinking contest is the one that didn't pee on themselves. In that respect, I lost.
Annual Snail Racing Day
It was annual snail racing day and so, all the snails elected Snail B to judge while Snails J, P and O help set up the course. All the other snails then got into their designated soapbox cars, which were painted with their letter.
Snail B yelled out four beeps, and on the last and higher pitched beep, all the snails started racing.
At one point of the race, Snail S's car hit a bump and flew off the track, with him in it. Snail S landed several feet away from his car, badly bruised, and called for help, but no one heard, for all his other snail friends were either racing or waiting at the finish line. After several tense moments, Snail S was picked up, but only to be cooked and eaten.
At the end of the race, Snail X came first, with Snail K second and Snail W third. After all the snails had crossed the finish line, everyone looked around and asked, "Where did the S car go?"