Following is our collection of crossin puns and crucifixion one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Cross jokes for adults, dirty crossfit jokes and clean chicken cross the road dad gags for kids.
Arrr Kelly!
To render the buildings on the other side.
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
To take a photo in front of a church.
Because the sign says no trespassing.
So the chicken could cross the road
Because the sign says No Tres passing
A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
No more jokes about the profit.
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
Extra Karma... I hope.
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
In a bucket
Thrown out of the petting zoo
Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
Killed.
It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
Because of all his cross training
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
To tell someone he was a vegan.
Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
Because it says "No Trespassing".
Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
Because she couldnt control her pupils.
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
To render the other side
A Golden Receiver.
I wore the wrong sock this morning.
Buy the DLC to find out
Because I wore the wrong pair of socks today
Executed.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
I think she was seeing someone else
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
The nuns panic and the one driving starts swerving the car to try knock him off, to no avail.
"Quick! Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!", shouts the one nun.
The other nun looks at the vampire and shouts:
"Get the f\*\*k off the windshield!!"
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
No tres passing
She didn't wear a seatbelt.
Killed in a tunnel
About half way..
Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Because he never really was on your side.
A mistake
- I don't know what it means but Mom laughed really hard so it must be funny. Dad uses that joke a lot.
Orange Jews from concentrate
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
Sherlock Ohms
Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
(sorry if this offends anyone)
It's a non-prophet organization.
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
Bang! You don't cross Putin!
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
swimming trunks! :D
Tequila Mockingbird
I thought she was seeing someone else.
...thought she was seeing someone else.
A que-nein.
Cross country
Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
They hey cross.
Nein 11
Jesus was a repost.
Popping open a cold one with the boys
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
Christianity.
No more jokes about the profit.
Oh, they already told you about it too?
I wore the wrong socks.
To come back from the other side.
A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm.
Charlie Smith, someone shouted, is that you?
Yes, it is, came the reply. Who are you?
We're from the Red Cross.
I gave at the office! Charlie shouted back.
You can't milk a cow for 2000 years.
To get to the other slide
The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.
Infantry.
A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
There is an abundance of mix jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 85 funniest jokes and cross puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any eleph witze you can hear about cross.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.