The Best 89 Cross Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cross jokes. There are some cross crucifixion jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cross why chicken cross the road puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 Funniest Cross Jokes and Puns
What do you get if you cross a pirate and a paedophile?
Arrr Kelly!
Why did the console player cross the road?
To render the buildings on the other side.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three?
Because it says "No Trespassing".
Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto
In a bucket
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?
Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend
I think she was seeing someone else
You can explore cross crossin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cross crossfit dad jokes. There are also cross puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?
No more jokes about the profit.
What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge?
Killed.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Why did Goku cross the road?
Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once.
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
Why did the console gamer cross the road
To render the other side
Why did the gamer cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic?
About half way..
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says No Tres passing
What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?
Executed.
Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack?
Because of all his cross training
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?
No tres passing
[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?
Orange Jews from concentrate
![Cross joke, [Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?](/images/jokes/cross-jokes-why-did-the-console-player-cross-the-roadn-n-to-re.jpg "Cross joke, [Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?")
What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?
Thrown out of the petting zoo
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She didn't wear a seatbelt.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?
Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
Why did the double agent cross the road?
Because he never really was on your side.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce....
We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired
Because she couldnt control her pupils.
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
Why did the vegan cross the road?
To tell someone he was a vegan.
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
Why did the sperm cross the street?
I wore the wrong sock this morning.
What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?
Killed in a tunnel
Why the crab cross the road?
It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?
A Golden Receiver.
Why did the EA executive cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me!
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time?
Because the sign says no trespassing.
At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it
He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge
Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To take a photo in front of a church.
Why did the pig cross the road?
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
Why did Bill Barr gas protestors?
So the chicken could cross the road
What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?
Extra Karma... I hope.
Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when suddenly, out of nowhere, a vampire jumps on their windshield
The nuns panic and the one driving starts swerving the car to try knock him off, to no avail.
"Quick! Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!", shouts the one nun.
The other nun looks at the vampire and shouts:
"Get the f\*\*k off the windshield!!"
Here's a joke my dad told me: What do you get when you cross mommy and daddy?
A mistake
- I don't know what it means but Mom laughed really hard so it must be funny. Dad uses that joke a lot.
Why did the sperm cross the road
Because I wore the wrong pair of socks today
A crossfit user, a vegan and an atheist went into a bar...
And we know it because they told us.
A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood
The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…
So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."
So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,
Me: Emphatic no, five letters.
She: **Never**
Me: Pistol, 3 letters.
She: **Gun**
Me: Disgust, 3 letters.
She: **Ugh**
Me: Charity, 4 letters.
She: **Give**
Me: Female sheep, 3 letters
She: **Ewe**
Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters
She: **Up**
2 nuns are in a car at a stop light in Transylvania when a vampire blocks their car...
One nun says to the other Quick sister, show him your cross!
The other nun rolls down the window and yells Get the bloody hell out of middle of the road asshole!
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure...
So I took a trip to the library to see if they
had a copy.
The librarian said that my description rang a
bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
My 10 y/o son told me this.
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To find the idiot.
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: The chicken...
I saw it coming with the knock knock joke but it made me laugh.
Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road?
Idk, it's beyond meat.
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?"
She replied, "You need two i's."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"
My wife caught me cross dressing and told me it was over.
So I packed all her clothes and left.
From my 9 year old yesterday...
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To visit the idiot...
Knock Knock
Who's there?
The chicken.
from my 7 y/o: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide
Why do Mexicans cross the border in pairs?
The sign says "No trespassing"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris…
Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
What do you get when you try to crossbreed a human and a moose?
Arrested apparently
A priest is walking through Kings Cross (a rough area of town), when a woman approached him and says
"Do you want a naughty? 200 bucks."
"Certainly not," he mutters and hurries on. Soon he passed near another woman who says "$200 for a naughty. Interested?"
"No thank you," he replies flusteredly.
As he comes near a third woman she again offers him a naughty for $200, which he of course refuses. Arriving back at the abbey, he happens upon the Mother Superior. Curiosity gets the better of him and he asks, "Mother...er...what's a naughty?
She replies "Two hundred dollars, just like in Kings Cross."
A Crossfitter, a Vegan and an Atheist walk into a bar....
I only know because they told *everybody* within two minutes of walking in.
Why did the dog cross the road, roll in the dirt, and cross the road again?
Because he's a dirty, double-crossing son of a b*tch.
*edit* And a such GOOD one, yes he IS!
My 8-year-old wrote a dinosaur joke
What do you get when you cross a T-Rex and a human?
A T-Rex
I recently heard about a young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross country adventure…
So, I headed down to the library with my daughter to see if they had a copy.
The librarian said the description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not..
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?
Because the road knows NEVER to cross Chuck Norris!!!
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put the wrong sock on this morning
Cross-examination of a coroner
"Did you check the victim's pulse?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check if the victim's breathing had stopped?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check for any signs of brainwave activity?"
"No, I did not."
"Then how do you even know the victim is dead?"
"Well, his brain is in a jar on my desk right now, but for all I know he might be out practicing law somewhere."
My friend is such a homophobe…
He thinks the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is a band of cross dressing Russians.
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a rottweiler?
A rottweiler.
Werner Herzog tells a joke
"Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because of the enormity of its stupidity, there is no purpose to any of its actions."
Jesus is hanging on the cross.
There's a big loud crowd gathered when he's heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it. He runs around to the far side and tries again. Again he's beaten back. Finally after several more attempts a beaten and bloody Matthew makes it to the cross.
Yes lord what do you have to tell me
Jesus replies I can see your house from up here
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He was a chicken
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cross cross road puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cross cross the street piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.