The Best 92 Cross Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Cross jokes. There are some cross crucifixion jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cross chicken cross the road puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Cross Jokes and Puns
What do you get if you cross a pirate and a paedophile?
Arrr Kelly!
Why did the console player cross the road?
To render the buildings on the other side.
Since there have been a few math jokes lately...
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin ΞΈ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three?
Because it says "No Trespassing".
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
swimming trunks! :D
I broke up with this cross eyed girl...
I thought she was seeing someone else.
Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?
Because she couldn't control her pupils.
How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto
In a bucket
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
You can explore cross crossin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cross crossfit dad jokes. There are also cross puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?
Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
What do you get when you cross a dylexsic, insomiac and a agnostic?
Someone who stays up at night wondering if there really is a dog.
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
A: To get to the same side!
I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend
I think she was seeing someone else
What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?
No more jokes about the profit.
What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge?
Killed.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
Why did Goku cross the road?
Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus?
A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once.
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
Why did the console gamer cross the road
To render the other side
Why did the gamer cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out
What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?
A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic?
About half way..
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says No Tres passing
What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?
Executed.
Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack?
Because of all his cross training
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?
No tres passing
[Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust?
Orange Jews from concentrate
What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?
Thrown out of the petting zoo
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She didn't wear a seatbelt.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?
Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...
Jesus was a repost.
Why did the double agent cross the road?
Because he never really was on your side.
What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd?
A que-nein.
What do you get when you cross Hitler with Osama bin laden?
Nein 11
What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?
Cross country
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
I once dumped a cross eyed girl...
...thought she was seeing someone else.
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
What do you get when you cross necrophilia with group sex?
Popping open a cold one with the boys
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce....
We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired
Because she couldnt control her pupils.
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
What do you get when you cross alcohol and literature?
Tequila Mockingbird
Why did the vegan cross the road?
To tell someone he was a vegan.
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
Why did the sperm cross the street?
I wore the wrong sock this morning.
What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?
Killed in a tunnel
Why the crab cross the road?
It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?
A Golden Receiver.
Why did the EA executive cross the road?
Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!
I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me!
Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time?
Because the sign says no trespassing.
Christians don't get angry.
They hey cross.
What do you get if you cross Putin with a...
Bang! You don't cross Putin!
At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it
He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
Engineer and Anti-vaxxer come to the bridge
Anti-vaxxer says to the engineer: Is it safe to cross the bridge?
Engineer: It is 99,97% safe to cross that bridge.
Anti-vaxxer: I'd rather swim.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To take a photo in front of a church.
Why did the pig cross the road?
Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
Why did Bill Barr gas protestors?
So the chicken could cross the road
What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day?
Extra Karma... I hope.
Turkey cross the road
Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken.
Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when suddenly, out of nowhere, a vampire jumps on their windshield
The nuns panic and the one driving starts swerving the car to try knock him off, to no avail.
"Quick! Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!", shouts the one nun.
The other nun looks at the vampire and shouts:
"Get the f\*\*k off the windshield!!"
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?
It's a non-prophet organization.
Here's a joke my dad told me: What do you get when you cross mommy and daddy?
A mistake
- I don't know what it means but Mom laughed really hard so it must be funny. Dad uses that joke a lot.
Why did the sperm cross the road
Because I wore the wrong pair of socks today
A crossfit user, a vegan and an atheist went into a bar...
And we know it because they told us.
A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood
The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O"
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness?
Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his friend the dummy.
M: Knock knock
Y: Who's there
M: Your friend the chicken!
[My 7yo told me this one and caught me off guard...]
There was a slightly long bridge, wide enough for only one car and one day, two cars tried to cross over from opposite directions and met at the middle of the bridge, obviously unable to get past the other......
One driver poked his head out of his window and yelled - "I don't make way for idiots!"
The second guy rolled his window down and yelled back - "I do!" and backed up his car...
What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventureβ¦
So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge.
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. "How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?" he asks. "99.97%," the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. "Guess I'm swimming then."
So I was doing crossword with my girlfriend,
Me: Emphatic no, five letters.
She: **Never**
Me: Pistol, 3 letters.
She: **Gun**
Me: Disgust, 3 letters.
She: **Ugh**
Me: Charity, 4 letters.
She: **Give**
Me: Female sheep, 3 letters
She: **Ewe**
Me: Pixar movie, 2 letters
She: **Up**
2 nuns are in a car at a stop light in Transylvania when a vampire blocks their car...
One nun says to the other Quick sister, show him your cross!
The other nun rolls down the window and yells Get the bloody hell out of middle of the road asshole!
So Jesus, God said, You said that when you saw the money-changers in the temple youβ¦turned into a tiny crucifix?
No, Jesus said, I said I became a little cross!
What do you get when you cross the Twitter community with a controversial celebrity?
Nothing. They cancel each other out.
What do you get if you crossbreed a dinosaur with a lemon?
A dinosour
Why did the chicken not cross the road?
It wanted to nugget hit by a car.
Why did the farmer cross the road?
To get his chicken back.
(Credit goes to my little sister. Did this one when she was eight. She's a legend.)
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a cow?
An animal in a...
baaaaaaaaaaad mooooooooood.
Why did the robot cross the road?
It was programmed by the chicken.
(A joke from one of my mom's kindergartners)
A physicist and an engineer agree to take part in an experiment.
They are shown into a room where a naked woman is lying on a bed on the other side of the room and told they can cross half the distance between them and the woman every minute.
The physicist throws up his hands and turns away.
The engineer walks halfway across the room.
"You fool!" says the physicist. "Don't you realise you will never actually reach her?"
"That's okay," says the engineer. "Pretty soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cross mix jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working cross eleph piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.