Cross Jokes
178 cross jokes and hilarious cross puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cross that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Ready for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny cross jokes that will have you splitting at the seams. Combining puns, wordplay, and references to crucifixes, red crosses, and more, these jokes bring a new dimension to cross-related humor. Whether you're looking for crossover jokes or funny criss-crosses, you won't want to miss these hilarious gags.
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Funniest Cross Short Jokes
Short cross jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cross humour may include short intersection jokes also.
- I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me! Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- A priest, a Baptist minister, and a rabbit walk into the Red Cross to donate blood The nurse asks, what's your blood type?
The rabbit says, "I'm probably a Type O" - My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce.... We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
- What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
- My 8-year-old wrote a dinosaur joke What do you get when you cross a T-Rex and a human?
A T-Rex - I don't care if Caitlin Jenner identifies as a woman, but April identifying as January is crossing the line.
- What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovah's Witness? Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.
- How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists? Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.
- One day I changed a lightbulb, crossed the road, and walked into a bar. Then I realized my whole life was a joke.
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Cross One Liners
Which cross one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cross? I can suggest the ones about bridge and overs.
- Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
- The wife caught me cross-dressing So I packed her things and left
- Why doesn't Jesus trust mankind? He's afraid he'll get double crossed
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of a rotten banana or whatever.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To take a photo in front of a church.
- Why did Bill Barr gas protestors? So the chicken could cross the road
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.
- What do you get when you cross Father's Day and Cake day? Extra Karma... I hope.
- How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto In a bucket
- What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge? Killed.
- Why the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
- Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack? Because of all his cross training
- how do you get from sweden to russia? you cross the finnish line
- Why did the vegan cross the road? To tell someone he was a vegan.
- Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job? Because she couldn't control her pupils.
Cross The Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny cross the road jokes and even better cross the road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the pig cross the road? Because the chicken told him to teargas protestors for a photo-op
- Why did the EA executive cross the road? Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass! - Why did princess Diana cross the road She wasn't wearing her seatbelt
- Why did Goku cross the road? Find out next time on Dragonball Z!
- Why did the plant-based chicken cross the road? Idk, it's beyond meat.
- Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
- Why did the double agent cross the road? Because he never really was on your side.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
- Why Did the mother in law cross the road? She thought it was a boundary.
- I grilled a chicken for 2 hours. It still wouldn't tell me why it crossed the road.
Cross Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny cross road jokes and even better cross road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the ghost cross the road? To come back from the other side.
- Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide
- Ok my 4 year old came up with this one, not sure he really understands how clever it is though... Why did the Dragon Cross the Road? He wanted to eat some chicken.
- Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn't chicken.
- Why did the tornado cross the road? To get the road to the other side.
- Why did EA games management cross the road If you wanna find out, please buy the Punchline dlc for 49.99$ or have a chance to get it from a loot box for 2.99$ each
- why did my wife cross the road? To go back into the first clothes shop we went into two hours ago.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the accordion player.
- Why did the ghost cross the road? Because it was a poultrygeist.
- Why did the man with one hand cross the road? To get to the second-hand shop.
I'll show myself out.
Cross The Street Jokes
Here is a list of funny cross the street jokes and even better cross the street puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the boomer cross the street? To show how it's done.
- They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris… Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
- A man fixes a lightbulb, crosses the street, and walks into a bar. He tells the bartender: "My whole life is a joke."
- A man wanted to go to the hospital. He asked his mother for directions. She said just close your eyes and cross the street, they will come and get you themselves.
- Why did Sally drop her ice cream while crossing the street? She got hit by a Bus.
- How did Jesus get to the other side of the street? He used the Cross Walk.
- A woman asks her husband: Woman: Honey, what if someone on the street tried to hit on me and said: "Hey beautiful."?
Husband: Help him cross the road! He must be blind! - 3 guys walk into a car No not a bar. A car. They were looking at their phones while crossing the street
- Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream? He forgot to look both ways before crossing the street
- She died doing what she loved... Looking at her phone while crossing the street
Chicken Cross Road Jokes
Here is a list of funny chicken cross road jokes and even better chicken cross road puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because the other chickens weren't wearing masks
- Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was a chicken
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To find people who care about its cake day.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to show the other chickens that it had guts. (Courtesy of my daughter)
- Why did the chicken cross the road? To push Jake off a cliff.... he really hates Jake.
as told by my 6 year old who hates a kid named Jake. - What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in the mud, and then crosses back again? A dirty double-crosser.
- Why did the rooster cross the road? He saw a sign that said "Chicken strips for a buck"!
- Why did the voodoo chicken cross the road? To get to his friends on the other side.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? For some fowl reason, probably.
- Why did the chicken cross the road? The road betrayed it first.
Red Cross Jokes
Here is a list of funny red cross jokes and even better red cross puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer? It's a non-prophet organization.
- I tried to donate blood to the Red Cross the other day... ...but they wouldn't accept it in a 5 gallon bucket.
They also said it had to be mine. - So I was at the Red Cross... Shopping for a stretcher. The assistant asked if I'd like try it out before I bought it. I thought "Nah, I don't wanna get carried away."
- Roses are red
Violets are blue
Love never crossed my mind
Until I came across you. - Where can I donate to the American Red Cross? I would like to help with house #7.
- Why did the red hot chili peppers cross the road "To take it on the other-side"
- A meteor shower destroyed the Red Cross headquarters. All Perseids went to charity.
- I just donated blood to the Red Cross. But I'm afraid my donation will be in vein.
- My friend asked me "have you ever tried Ethiopian cuisine?" "Yeah man, those Red cross packets are great."
- Why did the cat join the Red Cross ? It wanted to be a first aid kit.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Cross Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about cross you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean trans jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cross pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get if you cross a pirate and a p**...?
Arrr Kelly!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mom takes her sick daughter to the doctor.
The doctor asks the girl, "How old are you?"
Girl: "I will be 7 in two days."
Doctor: "Aww, look how optimistic we are."
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Totally unrelated joke
Son: "Dad, can I cross the street when the red light for pedestrians is on?"
Dad: "Yes, but make sure your arms are up in the air over your head."
Son: "Why is that?"
Dad: "Because it will be easier to t**... shirt in the morgue".
Since there have been a few math jokes lately...
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
What do you get when you cross a Drug cartel and a Mafia lord?
Probably killed.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
swimming trunks! :D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My cute younger brother's contribution.
Brother: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Don't know, why?
Brother: To go to the ugly guy's house.
Me: Huh??
Brother: Knock, knock.
Me: Who's there?
Brother: The chicken.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When your Dad is a math teacher you grow up with jokes like this...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the Mobius s**...?
A: To get to the same side!
I had to dump my cross eyed girlfriend
I think she was seeing someone else
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
He heard the ref was blowing fouls
My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once.
What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?
A Star-Spangled Banner.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
A man got lost on a camping trip
A man got lost on a camping trip. Rescuers scoured the wilderness until a medical emergency team finally spotted a solitary figure across a wide chasm.
Charlie Smith, someone shouted, is that you?
Yes, it is, came the reply. Who are you?
We're from the Red Cross.
I gave at the office! Charlie shouted back.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with The Titanic?
About half way..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?
Executed.
What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus?
Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.
What do you get if you cross a soldier and a scientist?
A marine biologist.
What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?
Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.
It seems highly unlikely that the Romans would have built a new cross for every execution, which means...
Jesus was a repost.
I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression.
Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything.
What do you get when you crossbreed a Chihuahua with a German Shepherd?
A que-nein.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross h**... with o**... bin laden?
Nein 11
a pretty bad joke my dad once told me
what do you get when you cross a elephant, rhino, and a hippo?
helliphino
What was Jesus Christ's least favorite form of exercise?
Cross fit.
What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?
Cross country
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once dumped a cross eyed girl...
...thought she was seeing someone else.
What do you call when you cross a detective with an electrician
Sherlock Ohms
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
What kind of math was Jesus the best at?
Cross multiplication
My favourite exercise
is a cross between a crunch and a lunge... it's called lunch.
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:
Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.
Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.
Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"
The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.
"I need help with this crossword," yelled my girlfriend, almost in tears. "9 letters, another word for 'concentration'.
I think she's seeking attention.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys stumble out of a bar on night to fight.
The first man draws a line in the dirt and says " if you cross this line i'll punch you"
That was the punch line.
A crossfit enthused, bitcoin investing vegan walks into a bar...
Oh, they already told you about it too?
What do you get when you cross a dog with a sharpie?
A permanent barker!
What do you get if you cross Prince Charles and The Queen?
Killed in a tunnel
What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?
A Golden Receiver.
What do you get if you cross Putin with a...
Bang! You don't cross Putin!
At the hearings, Kavanaugh was asked how he would prefer to cross a waist deep river, in a rowboat or simply walk across it
He said he doesn't want to give an opinion on Row Vs. Wade
What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk?
Law and odor.
Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when suddenly, out of nowhere, a vampire jumps on their windshield
The nuns panic and the one driving starts swerving the car to try knock him off, to no avail.
"Quick! Quick! Show him your cross! Show him your cross!", shouts the one nun.
The other nun looks at the vampire and shouts:
"Get the f\*\*k off the windshield!!"
My mom told me that Jesus died when his Royal Caribbean ship sank, but my priest said he actually died on the cross.
So...was that cruise a fiction?
Here's a joke my dad told me: What do you get when you cross mommy and daddy?
A mistake
- I don't know what it means but Mom laughed really hard so it must be funny. Dad uses that joke a lot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then Ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Elephino. It just isn't rhelephant.
(This joke works best when said out loud.)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his friend the d**....
M: Knock knock
Y: Who's there
M: Your friend the chicken!
[My 7yo told me this one and caught me off guard...]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a slightly long bridge, wide enough for only one car and one day, two cars tried to cross over from opposite directions and met at the middle of the bridge, obviously unable to get past the other......
One driver poked his head out of his window and yelled - "I don't make way for idiots!"
The second guy rolled his window down and yelled back - "I do!" and backed up his car...
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge
Seeing as the bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer.
\- How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly? - he asks
\- 99.97% - the engineer replies confidently
The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around:
\- Guess I'm swimming then...
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…
So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A physicist and an engineer agree to take part in an experiment.
They are shown into a room where a n**... woman is lying on a bed on the other side of the room and told they can cross half the distance between them and the woman every minute.
The physicist throws up his hands and turns away.
The engineer walks halfway across the room.
"You fool!" says the physicist. "Don't you realise you will never actually reach her?"
"That's okay," says the engineer. "Pretty soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!"
What do you get when you cross a church with a laser tag arena?
Pew! Pew! Pew!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My 10 y/o son told me this.
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To find the idiot.
Him: Knock knock
Me: Who's there?
Him: The chicken...
I saw it coming with the knock knock joke but it made me laugh.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?"
She replied, "You need two i's."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn't it?"
