cross Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cross puns

What do you get if you cross a pirate and a paedophile?

Arrr Kelly!

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Why did the console player cross the road?

To render the buildings on the other side.

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I was crossing the street when I suddenly noticed my ex getting run over by a bus. I thought to myself, Wow! That could have been me!

Then I remembered I can't drive a bus.

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My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce....

We didn't see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

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Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time?

Because the sign says no trespassing.

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Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?

Because the sign says No Tres passing

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What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus?

A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

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What do you get if you cross Islam and Capitalism?

No more jokes about the profit.

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Why did the semen cross the road?

I wore the wrong socks this morning



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Why did the chicken cross the road?

To escape Kim Jong Un's long range missiles.

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Why did the sperm cross the road?

I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.

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How did the chicken cross the street in the ghetto

In a bucket

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What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo

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How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

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What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge?

Killed.

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Why did the semen cross the road?

Because I put on the goddamned wrong sock this morning...

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Why the crab cross the road?

It didn't, it used the sidewalk.

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My wife caught me cross dressing last night.

So I packed her things and left

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Why did the Libertarian cross the road?

None of your damn business. Am I being detained?

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Why is Jesus always shown having a 6 pack?

Because of all his cross training

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What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?

A visit from the Scientific Professional Ethics Committee and immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.

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Trump, Merkel and Kim Jong-un are in the Middle East being chased by ISIS:

Trump turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll pay you a million dollars!" The terrorists continued.

Then Merkel turns to them and shouts: "Stop chasing us and I'll give you German citizenship!" The terrorists still kept chasing.

Then Kim Jong-un turns and shouts: "You are about to cross the border into the People's Democratic Republic of Korea. Welcome!"

The terrorists screamed and turned to run away.

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Why did the vegan cross the road?

To tell someone he was a vegan.

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What do you get if you cross an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

Someone who lays awake at night, wondering if there is a dog.

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Why did the cross eyed teacher quit her job?

Because she couldn't control her pupils.

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Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three?

Because it says "No Trespassing".

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Why did the EA executive cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out!
Alternate ending available if you purchase the season pass!

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I just fell victim to a dad joke

Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.

Me: I don't know?

Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

Me: What about the glue?

Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.

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Why did the semen cross the road?

Because you wore the wrong sock today.

While I'm up here on the moral highground, let me tell you about poor little Ukurugenzi.

Ukurugenzi is an 8-year old Kenyan orphan who walks 11 miles to his mud-hut school every day. With your donation of just 25 cents a day, we can buy a whip and make that lazy bastard run.

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There was a cross-eyed teacher who got fired

Because she couldnt control her pupils.

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My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

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My 8 year old told me a really clever joke for once.

What do you get when you cross Captain America and the Hulk?

A Star-Spangled Banner.

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Why did the console gamer cross the road

To render the other side

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What do you get when you cross a dog and an antenna?

A Golden Receiver.

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Why did the sperm cross the street?

I wore the wrong sock this morning.

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What are the most funny Cross jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cross? Well, here are the best Cross dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cross pick up lines to share with friends.

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