Cross Examination Jokes
20 cross examination jokes and hilarious cross examination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cross examination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Cross Examination Short Jokes
Short cross examination jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cross examination humour may include short examination jokes also.
- How did the detective solve the case of the missing nun? Through the process of cross-examination.
- A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: "I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep."
The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep… You wake him up."
Share These Cross Examination Jokes With Friends
Cross Examination One Liners
Which cross examination one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cross examination? I can suggest the ones about medical examination and interrogation.
- What's a nuns favort part of trial The cross examination
Cross Examination Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cross examination you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean examine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cross examination pranks.
A man takes his Rottweiller to the vet.
'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. Finally, he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy'.
Cross-examination of a coroner
"Did you check the victim's pulse?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check if the victim's breathing had stopped?"
"No, I did not."
"Did you check for any signs of brainwave activity?"
"No, I did not."
"Then how do you even know the victim is dead?"
"Well, his brain is in a jar on my desk right now, but for all I know he might be out practicing law somewhere."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet...
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?' 'Okay,' says the vet. 'Let's have a look at him.' So he picks up the dog examines his eyes and checks his teeth. Finally he says, 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' asks the man. 'No,' replies the vet. 'Because he's really, really heavy.'
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet…
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
Sick
"Can you have a look at him," he says,
"I think he's cross-eyed".
So the vet picks up the dog and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No," says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
Brainless Lawyers
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
"Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?"
"No."
"So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?"
"Well, the man's brain was in a jar on my desk, but I suppose he could have still been practicing law for a living."
An engineer on trial.
At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it. The court believed his story, and the suit was dismissed.
"Congratulations," the lawyer said to the engineer when it was over. "You did superbly under cross-examination."
"Thanks," he said, "but the plaintiff's lawyer sure had me worried."
"How's that?" the lawyer asked.
"I was afraid he was going to ask if the lantern was lit!"
Poor dog….
A man takes his rottweiler to the vet.
"Can you have a look at him he says,
I think he's cross-eyed"
So the vet picks up the dog
and examines him.
"I'm going to have to put him
down," says the vet.
"Why, just because he's cross eyed?"
"No, says the vet, "because he's heavy!"
a man takes his crossed-eyed bull dog to the vet..
The vet examines him, looks in his eyes, ears, mouth.
he picks up the dog and checks his legs and belly. finally, the vet says "i'm gonna have to put him down"
"because he's cross-eyed?" asks the man
"no, because he's really heavy."
Defense!
In a m**... trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere!
A lumberjack was being cross-examined during a m**... trial.
The defense lawyer, trying to discredit the lumberjack as a witness, asked him:
"Is it true you were working at night? How can you be sure that it was a pine tree that fell on the victim?"
The lumberjack replied confidently: "I know what I saw."
A cross-eyed dog
A man takes his dog to the vet.
'My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?'
'Well,' said the vet, 'let's have a look at him'.
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth. et.c.
Finally, he says, 'I'm going to put him down.'
'What!? Because he's cross-eyed?'
'No, because he's really heavy'.
A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, when he stopped and said, "I object, your honor! One of the jurors is asleep." The Judge ruled, "You put him to sleep, so you wake him up."
A lawyer calls a dog as a witness
The Judge says get that dog out it cannot be a witness
The Lawyer says Don't worry this dog can talk I will prove it.
The dog is sworn on to the podium and the Lawyer begins his cross examination. First he asks the dog Good morning sir, how was the road on your way here? The dog says rough
Then the lawyer asks What is on the top of the building? Roof the dog replies.
Then the lawyer asks the dog who is the greatest baseball player of all time? Ruth! Exclaims the dog.
The judge has had enough and demands that the dog is removed from the court. As he walks out the dog says Should I have said Hank Aaron?
Donald Trump built a house of cards out of his Magic the Gathering collection.
It was a little house, but it had multiple floors, and was even sturdy enough for a sitting room on the second floor. Donald loved to go up there and draw in his coloring books. One day he thought something might be wrong with it, which frustrated him, since he had worked so hard on it. Angrily, he stomped around trying to find any defects. He stomped so hard it collapsed on top of him, burying him forever! He had put so much faith in that mana fort, only to have it fold under cross examination, taking him down with it.
A lawyer was questioning a doctor...
A lawyer was cross-examining a doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said."I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat?" asked the lawyer.
"No I did not," the doctor said.
"So," said the lawyer,"When you signed the death certificate, you had not taken steps to make sure he was dead."
The doctor said, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was in a jar on my desk but, for all I know, he could be out practicing law somewhere."
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."