Crop Farming Jokes
9 crop farming jokes and hilarious crop farming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crop farming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Crop Farming Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good crop farming joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
My farmer grandpa died this time last year. This was his favourite joke...
My grandpa who lived on a farm always used to say that if he won the lottery he would buy Disneyland, bulldoze it to the ground and plant crops...because he's used to struggling.
I hope this made you smile as much as he made me smile.
TIFU by neglecting the fence between our m**... farm and the cattle ranch next door.
We're struggling to salvage our crop for harvest this year, and the steaks have never been higher.
Boll weevils are detrimental to cotton crops. If you had to have boll weevils on your farm, which do you want, a big weevil or a little weevil?
The little weevil, because you always want the *lesser of two weevils.*
My botany professor just told us this.
Bought an ant farm the other year.
They are right lazy! A whole year and they havent grown me any crops yet!
Ol McDonald had a farm, E I E I O.
And on that farm he grew some crops. D E A Don't know!
And a puff puff there,
And a puff puff here,
There a puff, here a puff,
Everywhere a puff puff!
Spelling bee
A Nebraska Huskers fan was in the finals of the state spelling bee.
"Okay, your word is 'farm,'" the moderator said to the Husker.
He sat there for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. "Um... Can I have a definition?"
"Sure," the moderator said. "It is a plot of agricultural land, used for the raising of crops and livestock."
"Uhhh..." The Nebraskan sat there for several more minutes, continuing to ask for alternative pronunciations, word origins, etc. The moderator was getting frustrated. Finally the huskers fan asked, "Uh, can you use it in a sentence?"
"Old MacDonald had a FARM!" the moderator shouted.
"Oh!" said the Husker.
"E-I-E-I-O!"
A farmer retires, and passes on the family farm to his son.
Without interest in growing crops, the son sells half the land to buy an excavator.
The son has the dream of striking it rich, without years of toiling as a farmer.
He begins to spend all day on the remaining land with the excavator, moving dirt, and filtering its contents, looking for gold.
The father, horrified at the result of the land, approaches his son, "You were supposed to use this land to farm! What happened?"
The son replies, "It's mine now!" and goes back to digging.
A farmer dies...
... and her wife is left in charge with running the farm. Living with him for twenty years, she knew everything there was about farming, but lacked the physical prowess to do so.
She decided to put up a "Help Wanted" poster to have extra hands to help with her crops. Three men wanted the job, but she chooses the gay man, who is gentler than the rest.
Two months pass by, and the man works very diligently. They soon become well acquainted; being able to trust one another.
One night, the man comes back from town, with newly bought supplies. Upon entry of the farm, he realizes that the widow is still there, waiting at her bed.
The widow beckons a finger at him. The man gulps.
"Take off my shoes."
He takes off her shoes.
"Take off my dress."
He solemnly takes off her dress.
"Unclasp my bra."
The bra is removed.
"Take off my p**...."
He pulls her p**... down.
She scorns, and says, "If I catch you going into town with my clothes again, you're fired!"
Volunteer fire department
So a farmer purchased a huge plot of land for his farm. Within less then a week an enormous fire breaks out and rages through the field. The fire department arrives almost immedeately and tries everything but the fire is too hot and too strong, keeping them from getting near the largest parts of the fire.
As backup, they call in the volunteer fire department and within a few minutes they arrive on their rickety, rusted fire truck that looks decades old. To the fire department's surprise, the volunteer fire department drives straight through the perimeter of the fire and directly INTO the blazing center. Immediately they jump out of the truck and begin spraying water in all directions which separates the large fire into to smaller ones, which are easily put out.
The farmer is overjoyed at having his land and crops saved, and writes the volunteer fire department a check for 10 thousand dollars for their bravery. When he hands them the check and commends their heroism, they reply "Great, This should be more than enough to fix the breaks on our truck!"
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