Crooked Jokes

46 crooked jokes and hilarious crooked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crooked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to laugh! This article contains a collection of hilarious jokes about crooked teeth, noses, eyes, hairlines, fingers, toes, backs, lawyers, lopsided presidents, and more! Get your crooked jokes ready!

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Funniest Crooked Short Jokes

Short crooked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crooked humour may include short corrupt jokes also.

  1. Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters? He cleaned out every crook and nanny.
  2. "Suspect is an elder female with an extensive criminal background..." "We don't have any leads, but we'll search every crook and nanny until we find her."
  3. A nun wakes up late for church.... She runs out after quickly getting dressed, and asks a small boy, "Is mass out?"
    He replies, "No but your hat's on crooked."
  4. What's the difference between Biden and a slow, phony, fake, crooked, corrupt politician? About 4 million votes.
  5. Politicians in the US remind me of British teeth. Some are sharp, most are white, and all are crooked.
  6. I saw Sean Connery build a bookshelf once. He built it wrong and it was kinda crooked. I called him out on it and he told me... "I'm ashamed of my shelf.
  7. Someone told me my Pride Pins were crooked. I then asked, Did you expect them to be STRAIGHT?
  8. Yo' Mama's teeth are so crooked, when she smiles, it looks like her mouth is throwing gang signs.
  9. Victim (after burglary): They stole everything from my house but the soap and towels. Cop: Those dirty crooks.
  10. Huge spike in auto-burglaries where crooks cut openings through top of convertibles. Police spokesman says this type of crime is through the roof.

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Crooked One Liners

Which crooked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crooked? I can suggest the ones about dishonest and messed up.

  1. A politician, a liar and a crooked man enter in a bar. He sits down and drinks coffee.
  2. What's the difference between a politician and a crook? No, seriously, I can't tell.
  3. What do you call a beach with crooked waves? A Scoli-ocean!
  4. Hillary's so crooked... she needs a Kaine for support.
  5. What should you do if you get attacked by a German Shepherd? Take his crook
  6. what do war torn countries and bent lines have in common? Crooked rulers
  7. did you hear about the crook who stole a calendar he got 12 months
  8. Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support.
    (Credit to: /u/medically)
  9. I've got a lot of puns about people with crooked teeth You'd better brace yourself
  10. What does a crook see with? Burglarize
  11. What do you call a gay nose job? Crooked
  12. What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a crooked lawyer? Chelsea Clinton
  13. I call my glasses... I call my glasses congress because they are old and crooked.
  14. My pants: *look a bit crooked* My music teacher: Just look #.
  15. I'm irrationally scared of getting beaten up by a Lvl. 1 Crook That's how my fear works.

Your Teeth Are So Crooked Jokes

Here is a list of funny your teeth are so crooked jokes and even better your teeth are so crooked puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do Hillary Clinton and Debbie Wasserman Schultz's teeth have in common? They're crooked.
  • Your sister's teeth are so crooked, Amtrack had to install her braces.
  • What do you call a girl with crooked teeth? Don't call her. She has crooked teeth!

Crooked Back Jokes

Here is a list of funny crooked back jokes and even better crooked back puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Two bananas were digging a hole Suddenly one of them said: "I'm quiting, my back is becoming crooked.''
  • What do you call it when a t**... develops a crooked back? ...Scoli-ISIS!

Crooked Nose Jokes

Here is a list of funny crooked nose jokes and even better crooked nose puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a drug sniffing dog with a crooked nose? Off-scenter.
  • Why do Indians and Pakistanis have crooked noses? All the inbreeding!!

Crooked Eye Jokes

Here is a list of funny crooked eye jokes and even better crooked eye puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Do you know why the Chinese wall is so slanted? Because their eyes are crooked.
    (My friend came up with this one so i can't take credit for it)
Crooked joke, Do you know why the Chinese wall is so slanted?

Laughable Crooked Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about crooked you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dodgy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crooked pranks.

A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:

"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"

*Joke was translated from Bulgarian*

Two Australians were sitting around talking over a beer..

After a while the first Australian says to the second, If I was to sneak over to your house and make love to your wife while you was off fishing, and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us related?"
The second Australian crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head, and squinted his eyes, thinking real hard about the question.
Finally, he says, _*"Well, I don't know about related, but I reckon it'd make us even."

A group of scientists run an experiment on a frog

They teach it to jump on command by using flies as treats. Now when they say "Jump" the frog jumps.
Then they chop off one leg. They say "Jump" and the frog jumps in a crooked path. So far so good.
Finally, they chop off the other leg. They say "Jump" and the frog does not jump.
It has been concluded that frogs cannot hear without their legs.

Ode to Hillary

Ode to Hillary
There was a crooked woman, and she wore a crooked smile
She found a crooked dollar and she dodged a crooked trial
She bought a crooked server, and wed a crooked spouse
And they all lived together in a little crooked house


I knew a politician who was so crooked, when he died he had to be s**... into the ground

Did you hear about the theft at the babysitter convention?

The police ended up searching every crooked nanny

What did the Officer say after arresting the crooked cook?

"I just booked a cook for cooking the books."

I've been trying to hang a picture of Donald Trump in my house

But no matter what I do it's always crooked.

Crooked joke, I call my glasses...