The Best 39 Croc Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Croc jokes. There are some croc alligator jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these croc unscathed puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Croc Jokes and Puns

What do crocs and getting a blow job from a guy have it common?

It feels good at the time until you look down and realize you're gay.

A crocodile wouldn't blow up his house, but a Dino might

Crocodile breaks into Florida store, steals sports drinks.

It was a Gator-raid.

Croc joke, Crocodile breaks into Florida store, steals sports drinks.

Crocodiles can grow up to 20 feet

but most have just four.

What do crocodiles serve at dinner time?

Death rolls


Who did the crocodiles call when they found one of their own dead?

The investiGATOR

Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet?

But most only have 4 :)

Croc joke, Did you know crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet?

What do Crocs and getting a bj by a dude have in common?

They both feel fantastic till you look down and realize you're gay.

Crocodiles; these prehistoric beasts can grow up to 20 feet!

Although most just grow 4.

A crocodile goes to the doctor..

It turns out the crocodile was suffering from ereptile dysfunction.

Why was the crocodile arrested?

Because of severe alligations.

You can explore croc lizard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean croc hippo dad jokes. There are also croc puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The crocodile refused to admit fault...

He was in the Nile.

*I'll see myself out*

Some crocodiles can grow 17-20 ft

But most have 4

A crocodile tried to have sex but couldn't...

He had a reptile dysfunction

Why do crocs have a strap on the back of them?

So they stay on during sex.

A crocodile and a dog meet.

The croc looks at the dog with disdain and says: "Hey, flea bag!"

The dog looks back at the croc and says: "Hey, hand bag!"

Croc joke, A crocodile and a dog meet.

Crocodiles are easy.

They try to kill and eat you.

People are harder.

Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.

- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)

Why are crocodiles long and green?

Because if they were small and red, they would be tomatoes.

Why do crocodiles always feel sad?

Because they're in the Nile


Why did the crocodile throw his clock out the window?

He wanted to see if time could fly

How do I get my Crocs to stop squeaking?

My sanity is beginning to slip...

1 out of 4 crocodiles can't get boners

they have ereptile dysfunction

The crocodile said to the other crocodile, "Nice Bag!"

The other crocodile said, "Thanks, it was my ex-husband."

Two Crocodiles were walking together when they bumped into a dinosaur...

Worried that they were going to get eaten, one said to the other: Dyouthinkhesaurus?

Why do crocs have holes in them?

So your dignity can drain out.

Why do Crocs not go to heaven?

Because they have no soles.

What is another name for the tick-tock croc from Peter Pan?

A Clock-odile.

Why do crocodiles only roll cigarettes with Rizla papers?

Because they can't do Zig-Zags.

peopel buy it from their crocs so

do you buy it from the croc store?

I'm crocheting some mittens for my daughter and the needlework is driving me mad.

Oh well, it's a labour of glove.

Crocs aren't something you want on your feet.

The shoes suck too.

Crocodiles can't put their tongues out

So if you are being taunted in a swamp, It probably is an alligator.

Crocodiles in Egypt will never admit to being in love...

They all live in de-Nile

What did the crocs say to the shoelace

You trippin

That's not a Crocodile Dundee reference...

THIS is a Crocodile Dundee reference.

How do you cook alligator meat?

In a croc pot!

Doctor Doolittle spies an unfamiliar crocodilian on a South American riverbank.

He calls out "I say! Are you a cayman?"

"Not bad, how 'bout you?" answers the croc.

I was going to cook alligator for dinner

But then I realized I only have a croc pot

Some crocodiles formed a band that does parody songs.

It's a pun croc band.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the croc jaws jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working croc koala piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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