Criticism Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."

I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.

As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

My buddy tells me he doesn't take criticism too well.

I told him he should really work on that.

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.

She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.

As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!

At the job interview

"What's your biggest strength?"

"I'm incapable of understanding criticism.

"That sounds more like a weakness.

"Aw, thank you.

My boss came over today to tell me how I built my house wrong.

I'm not good with taking constructive criticism.

Inner Strength

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can resist complaints and excessively loud people,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs...

If you can do all of these things, then you are probably a dog

Q: A word that defines "a quick, clever reply to an insult or criticism."

Sorry, this was "a riposte".

My mother said to me at dinner last week that I overreact too much to criticism.

So I shot her.

Wife hanging from a rope.

I found my wife hanging from a rope in the attic. There was a note saying, "I really can't stand your criticsm any longer!" I quickly cut the rope and reanimated her. Thankfully I could bring her back to life. As she lay in my arms I could see her eyes slowly open and I said, "Come on, that's not how you spell criticism."

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.

President Trump to sign an executive action taking aim at Sun Maid and California's Raisin industry

He answered most of the criticism over the weekend by stating

"I would like to make raisins Grape again"

What do you do for a living?

\- I'm an organ dealer.

\- Oh god! Don't you have a heart?

\- Is that criticism or a request?

I can't say a bad thing about my wife.

She doesn't take well to criticism.

The US Government spent $365,000 to test the effect of cocaine on quails' sex drive...

The study has been met with fierce criticism by guinea pigs.

A questionable article on marine biology goes viral.

"**New study reveals migrating Crows' droppings may be responsible for great barrier barrier reef bleaching**"

The article receives widespread criticism from the scientific community. Marine biologists across the globe insist that coralation does not imply Cawsality.

Religion is like a nude pic

If it ends up on the internet you're entering a world of criticism ο»Ώ

I'm going to set up my own religion!

I'm going to set up my own religion, one where its important to respect other peoples beliefs, learn to take criticism on the chin like an adult, wash regularly, treat women and children as equals and never kill anyone under any circumstances.

Its a non-prophet organisation.

What do you call a boat that doesn't allow criticism?

A censor-ship

Why are sound guys so bad at taking criticism?

They hate feedback.

My friend asked me if I've ever considered teaching my children about sex.

I said, "I have tried, but they don't take well to criticism."

Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't suck.

If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica.

I always eat at this fried chicken place, the Cool Clucks Clan

My only criticism is that they don't serve dark meat

I don't know why my employees are so upset; I try to be sensitive with my criticism.

I like to give out gluten-free compliment sandwiches.

How do you improve a building? Constructive criticism!

Sorry, not sorry!

Jimmy Norton Deserves More Criticism

Jimmy should have left the show. If he's actually interested in putting out a quality comedic product, how can he remain doing the O&J show?

I'm tired of people saying that "anyone would have taken the paycheck." Jimmy's a middle-aged man with no wife, no kids, a decent amount of assets, and multiple sources of income. Why is he always so concerned about money?

2 years ago, I worked a 6-figure job that I hated to pursue an art career. I make 1/3rd of what I used to, but I'm way happier and have no regrets. If I had a wife + kids, obviously it'd be different.

Unlike Patrice or Colin or Burr, Jimmy's always been more interested in being famous than being a great comedian, and that perspective is why he'll never be a great stand-up.

Joke I made up. Be gentle on criticism.

I went to the lake with a buddy of mine. We were going fishing. After being there for about an hour I was getting annoyed by all the bugs. I said to my buddy "man I'm getting tired of all these chiggers". He replied, "they prefer to be called chigroes"

What are the funniest criticism jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Criticism? Well, here are the best Criticism puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Criticism pick up lines to share with friends.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Joko Jokes