Critic Jokes

Following is our collection of commentator puns and filmmaker one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Critic jokes for adults, dirty benefactor jokes and clean impersonations dad gags for kids.

The Best Critic Puns

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...

.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes, " says the artist.

"It's worthless," says the critic

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:

-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?


-It's pretty much worthless.

-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel

The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel

The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.

That way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and also have their shoes.

Critics say Botox is too expensive...

...but I spoke to fifty people who just paid for the treatment, and none of them looked surprised.

We often criticize pedophiles...

but they, at least, drive slowly near schools.

99 critical bugs in the code... 99 critical bugs. Track one down, patch it when found...

100 critical bugs in the code.

A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.

Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "

Before you criticise a person try walking a mile in their shoes.

Then, when you criticise that person again, you'll be a mile away AND have their shoes.

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

The art critic

A young painter is exhibiting his work for the first time, and a famous art critic is in attendance.

The critic has a look around and then finds the artist, saying to him: "Do you want my opinion on your art?"

The artist of course says "yes"

The critic replies "it's worthless"

"I know. But tell me anyway."

Before you criticize a gunman you should walk a mile in his shoes.

That way you'll be out of range and he'll be barefoot.

What did the food critic say after trying the Wookiee?

That was a bit Chewie

When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes...

then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes.

Why was the food critic fired?

They didn't reference their sauces

An artist takes his work to a gallery for the first time.

A well-known art critic happens to be there and spots the painting. He walks over to the young artist.

"Excuse me, would you like my opinion of your painting?"

"Sure," replied the artist.

"Frankly, it's completely worthless."

"I know, but tell it to me anyway."

She criticized my apartment... I knocked her flat.

A critical care doc, an ICU nurse and a field epidemiologist walk into a bar,

Just kidding, no they don't.


How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

Everyone criticizes Putin's Russia...

But look at Putin's America!

What did the music critic say about the Russian opera?


Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach?

Because he was wandering around with a semillon.

(best when read out loud)

What happened to the muslim critic?

He blew everything out of proportion!

The restaurant critic wrote that the appetizer was unexceptional

It was par for the course

What the food critic say after eating Shrek?

"He was just meaty ogre"

What did the critics say about Stallone's superhero movie?

It was DREDDful.

So what do you do for a living? Im in organ trafficking. Fu** ! Dont you have a heart?

Was that a critic or an order?

A critic reads what the local newspapers say about him

The papers say that everything he says seems to contradict itself. Baffled and deeply offended by this, the critic loudly proclaimed:

"My rage is indescribable!"

Critics are comparing Aquaman to Black Panther

At first glance, the movies do appear similar. They both feature ancient sci-fi utopias hidden from the rest of the world. In each movie, theres a fight for the throne in order to stop a war. However, they are ignoring one major difference: the characters in Aquaman can swim.

What do the critically acclaimed Schindler's List and the famous children's movie Chicken Run have in common?

The tagline Escape or die frying .

Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?

I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A food critic was a farm-to-table restaurant

He flagged down the waiter and asked him how they prepared their chicken.
The waiter replied, "Nothing special. We just tell 'em they're gonna die."

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

What do you call a sheep with no parents who is a harsh critic?

A lamb-bastard.

Before criticising anyone, walk a mile in their shoes

because when you do you are a mile away and have their shoes..

Don't criticize someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes...

...that way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away and have their shoes.

-Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

A critic walked up and down the aisles of a modern art exhibit.

He stopped before one particularly abstract work.

"What in the world is that supposed to be?" He wondered aloud.

"That," said the artist, "is *supposed* to be the Great Wall of China at sunset."

"Then why isn't it?" snapped the critic.

What do you call someone who writes reviews on construction businesses?

A constructive critic.

Why did the book critic give The Road a bad review?

Too many plot holes.

What does a movie critic say when he's mad?


If you do MDMA you should seriously consider a career as a movie critic.

They're always raving.

There is an abundance of khans jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 43 funniest jokes and critic puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any arnie witze you can hear about critic.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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