Critic Jokes

What are some Critic jokes?

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...

.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.

The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"

"Yes, " says the artist.

"It's worthless," says the critic

The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery

A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery. An art critic approaches him:

-Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?


-It's pretty much worthless.

-I don't mind, you can tell me anyway.

The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel

The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel

The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway

EDDIT: u/mandrous's critic accepted!

ARTIST: I'd like your opinion on my painting.

CRITIC: It's worthless.

ARTIST: I know, but I'd like it anyway.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.

That way when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and also have their shoes.

Critics say Botox is too expensive...

...but I spoke to fifty people who just paid for the treatment, and none of them looked surprised.

We often criticize pedophiles...

but they, at least, drive slowly near schools.

A critic goes to an art gallery and finds the artist of the pieces there.

Critic: "Would you like to know what I think of your art?"
Artist: "Oh, yes please"
Critic: "It's useless"
Artist: "I know, but I would still like to hear it. "

Before you criticise a person try walking a mile in their shoes.

Then, when you criticise that person again, you'll be a mile away AND have their shoes.

Why did the movie critic give the movie he received on a burned disc a 3.14/5?

Because it was pi-rated.

Before you criticize a gunman you should walk a mile in his shoes.

That way you'll be out of range and he'll be barefoot.

What did the food critic say after trying the Wookiee?

That was a bit Chewie

When you criticize a person, walk a mile in his shoes...

then you'll be a mile away and in his shoes.

How much did the critic tip the waitor?

two cents

Everyone criticizes Putin's Russia...

But look at Putin's America!

Why did the wine critic get kicked off the nudist beach?

Because he was wandering around with a semillon.

(best when read out loud)

What did the music critic say about the Russian opera?


What happened to the muslim critic?

He blew everything out of proportion!

What did the critics say about Stallone's superhero movie?

It was DREDDful.

So what do you do for a living? Im in organ trafficking. Fu** ! Dont you have a heart?

Was that a critic or an order?

What the food critic say after eating Shrek?

"He was just meaty ogre"

Critics are comparing Aquaman to Black Panther

At first glance, the movies do appear similar. They both feature ancient sci-fi utopias hidden from the rest of the world. In each movie, theres a fight for the throne in order to stop a war. However, they are ignoring one major difference: the characters in Aquaman can swim.

What do the critically acclaimed Schindler's List and the famous children's movie Chicken Run have in common?

The tagline Escape or die frying .

Why is everyone criticising Aji Pai?

I've only ever known Aji Pai as an American attorney as the Chairman of United States FCC who makes the best decisions. Aji Pai has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

A food critic was a farm-to-table restaurant

He flagged down the waiter and asked him how they prepared their chicken.
The waiter replied, "Nothing special. We just tell 'em they're gonna die."

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

Before criticising anyone, walk a mile in their shoes

because when you do you are a mile away and have their shoes..

What do you call a sheep with no parents who is a harsh critic?

A lamb-bastard.

What do you call someone who writes reviews on construction businesses?

A constructive critic.

A critic walked up and down the aisles of a modern art exhibit.

He stopped before one particularly abstract work.

"What in the world is that supposed to be?" He wondered aloud.

"That," said the artist, "is *supposed* to be the Great Wall of China at sunset."

"Then why isn't it?" snapped the critic.

Why did the book critic give The Road a bad review?

Too many plot holes.

What did the food critic call the cactus pie?

A succulent meal.

Did you hear about the food critic who is having thoughts about his career choice due to ethical concerns?

The struggle is Veal.

Why was the theatre critic fired from the zoo?

Because he was too hippo critical.

What does a movie critic say when he's mad?


If you do MDMA you should seriously consider a career as a movie critic.

They're always raving.

What do you call a guitarist who only knows two chords ?

A music critic

An organ trafficker has a date

"What do you do for a living?", asks the date.

"I trade illegal organs.", the trafficker says.

"Jesus! Don't you have a heart?"

"Was that a critic or an order?"

Actual Critic

Armani blazer: 20k
Gucci shoes: 15k
Tag Heuer watch: 50k
Friend meets you and says "Looking Idiot" - Priceless

Robert Ebert was asked to reflect upon his career as a movie critic...

He described it as a jaw-dropping experience...

How to make Critic jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Critic to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Critic? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Critic pick up lines to share with friends.

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