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Criteria Jokes

9 criteria jokes and hilarious criteria puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about criteria that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a good laugh? Read this article to find out how criteria jokes can make you laugh by presenting a different angle to judge a joke by. Get to know the parameters and repeat the repetition to create your own unique criteria for judging jokes.

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The Funniest Criteria Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What is a good criteria joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A widow puts out an ad for a man...

She put out an ad for a man that would not beat her, not run away, and could satisfy her s**.... A few days later the doorbell rings. And in the doorway is a man with no arms or legs. He told her he was there to answer her ad, and she asked him why he thought he fit the criteria.
"Well, I have no arms so I will never beat you. I have no legs so I can't run from you."
"How do you suppose that you can satisfy me s**...," she asked with a puzzled face.
"Well, I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

A huge crab walks into a bar...

...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"

The Pope is stepping down because he's "too old"...

... I see the Catholic Church applies the same criteria to Popes as it does to their choirboys.

A man calls the White House and says he wants to apply for the President's position.

"Are you an idiot", the White House staff says.
"Oh sorry Im not. Is that a criteria?", he replies.

Two girls are applying for a job interview, one was super beautiful while the other with super ugly,

The boss looked at them and said " I don't care about your looks, my only criteria is if you are qualified for the job, the one who answer my question will be hired"
Then he asked the beautiful girl " what is China's population?" the girl answered " 1,400 billion"
The boss said " good, well done" then he looked at the ugly girl and asked her "Name me those 1,400 billion people?".

I am extremely picky about what I eat.

Everything I eat must absolutely be describable with a word that begins with "F". It must also must also end with "D". And finally, it should have two "O"'s in it. I simply will not eat anything that does not meet my minimum criteria.

What is the criteria to join a nightclub for ghosts?

No body is allowed in

The three main criteria for dating websites are as follows

-Age
-s**...
-Location
But I think this needs to change badly, as I personally don't condone under-age s**...

The Mental Asylum

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the teaspoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug out. Do you want a room with or without a view?"

Criteria joke, The Mental Asylum

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