Crisp Jokes

Following is our collection of tostitos puns and crispies one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crisp jokes for adults, dirty spud jokes and clean burns dad gags for kids.

The Best Crisp Puns

A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.

So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.

A Fries Factory Burned Down

It burned down to a crisp

A guy goes into a bar for a drink

He orders a beer and a beautiful woman walks up to him and says, "hey, for $300 bucks I'll do anything you want . . . Anything. "

He raises an eyebrow and replies "anything?"

She nods "anything!"

He pulls out his wallet excitedly and removes 3 crisp $100 bills and gives it to her. Then he says "paint my house."

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

What's Santa's favorite snack?

A crisp Pringle

An old woman visits a lawyer to draw up a will. He completes the process and charges her $100. She hands him a crisp, brand new $100 bill and as she turns to leave the lawyer notices another $100 bill stuck to it. His moral dilemma is causing him great discomfort because...

He can't decide if he should tell his partner.

What do you call a sunburnt santa?

Crisp Cringle

Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.

Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.

1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?

If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!

There was one a girl called autumn

She once asked her mom
mom why am I called autumn?
her mom then said
when you were leaving the hospital a crisp
autumn leaf fell on your head
this makes rose curious so she asks the same thing
mom where did my name come from and the mom says while we were leaving the hospital a rose fell on your head
This of course prompts cinderblock to ask the same thing dykcsuoknnvcxsaetuiokmbvxawehk she says

2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice

It blows.

(Get well soon Carrie)

shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine

now days they have cameras

I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...

...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!

Why is it illegal to burn money to a crisp?

Cuz then it wouldn't be legal...*tender*

I went to pay the Cashier at the Grocery store

Cashier "That will be $18.35"

Me: Hands her a $50 bill

Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"

Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*

A crisp was walking down a road

A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"

What's an airline pilots favourite crisp flavour?


Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down?

Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!

Who is Logan Paul's favourite actor?

Crisp Rat

At my dad's funeral, everyone said that he was a very crisp man

He died in a fire.

How do you want your coffee?


Two crisps walking down the road..

..A car pulls up and says "You need a lift"

Crisps: No we're Walkers

Car: You sure?

Crisps: We're salted!

I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza to a charred crisp last night...

I should have used aloha temperature.

Two crisps were walking down the road

A man pulled over and asked them if they wanted a lift.
They said "No thanks, we're walkers".

Lays are called Walkers in the UK

What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers?


There is an abundance of stirs jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes and crisp puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any taters witze you can hear about crisp.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes