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Crisp Jokes

48 crisp jokes and hilarious crisp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crisp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you ready for a chuckle? Dive into a world of potato crisp puns and funny jokes based on Walkers Crisp, Apple Crisp, Circumsizer, Styrofoam, and Tostitos. Read on for an evening of laughter and good-natured humor.

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Popular Crisp Short Jokes

Short crisp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crisp humour may include short crunch jokes also.

  1. Back in the days, I'd only take just $1 with me to the supermarket and came back with 3 bottles of soda and 2 bags of crisps But these days, there are surveillance cameras everywhere
  2. Back in my day Back in my day you use to be able to go into a Shop with £1.00 and come out with 2 Chocolate Bars and a Packed Of Crisps, but now these days they have Cameras.
  3. A very drunk man walks into a bar He yells:
    two large beers and a packet of crisps please!
    Lady: sir, this is a library.
    Man, whispering: two large beers and a packet of crisps please!
  4. If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
  5. Chris pratt came up on the news My dad said "y'know it's sad"
    I replied "what's wrong"
    He said "that someone could name their son Crisp Rat "
  6. 3 bags of crisps walking down the road .. a bloke pulls up ,says hay guys wanna lift? No thanks they replied we're walkers
  7. Two packets of crisps are strolling down the street when a car pulls alongside them... The driver asks if they would like a lift.
    The crisps say, "No thanks, we're Walkers."
  8. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep, and crisp, and even.
    Terrible. But hadn't seen this in a while. Thought I'd bring it back for 2020.
  9. 2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows.
    (Get well soon Carrie)
  10. shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine now days they have cameras

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Crisp One Liners

Which crisp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crisp? I can suggest the ones about crick and crusty.

  1. All my life, I thought air was free... ... until I bought a bag of crisps!
  2. How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even.
  3. A Fries Factory Burned Down It burned down to a crisp
  4. What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
  5. What's Santa's favorite snack? A crisp Pringle
  6. What do you call a sunburnt santa? Crisp Cringle
  7. What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle.
  8. What is Rick Grimes' favourite type of crisps? Walkers
  9. What's an airline pilots favourite crisp flavour? Plain
  10. What is a ducks favourite dip for crisps? Quacemole
  11. What religion is a potato? A Crisp-tian.
  12. What is a pilot's favourite flavour of crisps? Plane.
  13. Who is Logan Paul's favourite actor? Crisp Rat
  14. How do you want your coffee? Crisp.
  15. So I just found out what indias favourite flavour crisps are apparently it's sultan shake

Walkers Crisp Jokes

Here is a list of funny walkers crisp jokes and even better walkers crisp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A crisp was walking down a road A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
    The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"
  • What's the difference between British crisps and foreign crisps? One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.
  • Two crisps walking down the road.. ..A car pulls up and says "You need a lift"
    Crisps: No we're Walkers
    Car: You sure?
    Crisps: We're salted!
  • Two crisps were walking down the road A man pulled over and asked them if they wanted a lift.
    They said "No thanks, we're walkers".
    Lays are called Walkers in the UK
  • What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps? Walkers
  • 2 Packets of Crisps were walking down the street. A man in a van pulls up beside them and go " Would you guys like a lift?"
    The Crisps replied " No Thanks we're **walkers**"

Potato Crisp Jokes

Here is a list of funny potato crisp jokes and even better potato crisp puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call the ashes of a person with down syndrome? Potato Crisps.
Crisp joke, What do you call the ashes of a person with down syndrome?

Crisp joke, What do you call the ashes of a person with down syndrome?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crisp can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crisp puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Uplifting Crisp Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends

What funny jokes about crisp you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crumbs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crisp prank.

A man on a business trip went out for breakfast

When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"
The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."
Puzzled, the waitress said "What are you, crazy?!"
"No," said the man- "i'm homesick."

A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.

So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"

A lawyer gets paid

A client owed his lawyer $100. He handed him a crisp, new $100 bill. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that he actually received two $100 bills stuck together. This presented him with a dilemma. Should he tell his partner or not.

A woman walks into a bar

She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.
The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.
He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"

A guy goes into a bar for a drink

He orders a beer and a beautiful woman walks up to him and says, "hey, for $300 bucks I'll do anything you want . . . Anything. "
He raises an eyebrow and replies "anything?"
She nods "anything!"
He pulls out his wallet excitedly and removes 3 crisp $100 bills and gives it to her. Then he says "paint my house."

An old woman visits a lawyer to draw up a will. He completes the process and charges her $100. She hands him a crisp, brand new $100 bill and as she turns to leave the lawyer notices another $100 bill stuck to it. His moral dilemma is causing him great discomfort because...

He can't decide if he should tell his partner.

Quentin Crisp Quote

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

My none-too-bright mate had an accident on a building site when a slate fell off the roof and sliced his ear off…

Here it is said one of the lads working with him holding up what looked like a b**... walkers ridge crisp.
My mate shook his head No, that's not it, mine had a pencil tucked behind it

There was one a girl called autumn

She once asked her mom
mom why am I called autumn?
her mom then said
when you were leaving the hospital a crisp
autumn leaf fell on your head
this makes rose curious so she asks the same thing
mom where did my name come from and the mom says while we were leaving the hospital a rose fell on your head
This of course prompts cinderblock to ask the same thing dykcsuoknnvcxsaetuiokmbvxawehk she says

Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.

Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!

I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...

...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!

Why is it i**... to burn money to a crisp?

Cuz then it wouldn't be legal...*tender*

I went to pay the Cashier at the Grocery store

Cashier "That will be $18.35"
Me: Hands her a $50 bill
Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"
Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*

Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down?

Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!

Crisp joke, Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crisp jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.