The Best 28 Crisp Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Crisp jokes. There are some crisp crispies jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these crisp burns puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Crisp Jokes and Puns
A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.
So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"
What's Santa's favorite snack?
A crisp Pringle
Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.
Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!
Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down?
Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even.
What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers?
Russell.
A crisp was walking down a road
A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"
I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...
...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!
shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine
now days they have cameras
What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
What do you call a sunburnt santa?
Crisp Cringle
You can explore crisp tostitos reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean crisp spud dad jokes. There are also crisp puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice
It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie)
Two crisps were walking down the road
A man pulled over and asked them if they wanted a lift.
They said "No thanks, we're walkers".
Lays are called Walkers in the UK
A Fries Factory Burned Down
It burned down to a crisp
I burnt my Hawaiian Pizza to a charred crisp last night...
I should have used aloha temperature.
I went to pay the Cashier at the Grocery store
Cashier "That will be $18.35"
Me: Hands her a $50 bill
Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"
Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*
What's an airline pilots favourite crisp flavour?
Plain
Who is Logan Paul's favourite actor?
Crisp Rat
Two crisps walking down the road..
..A car pulls up and says "You need a lift"
Crisps: No we're Walkers
Car: You sure?
Crisps: We're salted!
Why is it illegal to burn money to a crisp?
Cuz then it wouldn't be legal...*tender*
A guy goes into a bar for a drink
He orders a beer and a beautiful woman walks up to him and says, "hey, for $300 bucks I'll do anything you want . . . Anything. "
He raises an eyebrow and replies "anything?"
She nods "anything!"
He pulls out his wallet excitedly and removes 3 crisp $100 bills and gives it to her. Then he says "paint my house."
How do you want your coffee?
Crisp.
At my dad's funeral, everyone said that he was a very crisp man
He died in a fire.
An old woman visits a lawyer to draw up a will. He completes the process and charges her $100. She hands him a crisp, brand new $100 bill and as she turns to leave the lawyer notices another $100 bill stuck to it. His moral dilemma is causing him great discomfort because...
He can't decide if he should tell his partner.
There was one a girl called autumn
She once asked her mom
mom why am I called autumn?
her mom then said
when you were leaving the hospital a crisp
autumn leaf fell on your head
this makes rose curious so she asks the same thing
mom where did my name come from and the mom says while we were leaving the hospital a rose fell on your head
This of course prompts cinderblock to ask the same thing dykcsuoknnvcxsaetuiokmbvxawehk she says
A woman walks into a bar
She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.
The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.
He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?
Deep, and crisp, and even.
Terrible. But hadn't seen this in a while. Thought I'd bring it back for 2020.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the crisp stirs jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working crisp taters piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.