Crisp Jokes
43 crisp jokes and hilarious crisp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crisp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready for a chuckle? Dive into a world of potato crisp puns and funny jokes based on Walkers Crisp, Apple Crisp, Circumsizer, Styrofoam, and Tostitos. Read on for an evening of laughter and good-natured humor.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Crisp Short Jokes
Short crisp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crisp humour may include short crunch jokes also.
- Back in my day Back in my day you use to be able to go into a Shop with £1.00 and come out with 2 Chocolate Bars and a Packed Of Crisps, but now these days they have Cameras.
- A very drunk man walks into a bar He yells:
two large beers and a packet of crisps please!
Lady: sir, this is a library.
Man, whispering: two large beers and a packet of crisps please! - If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?
- Chris pratt came up on the news My dad said "y'know it's sad"
I replied "what's wrong"
He said "that someone could name their son Crisp Rat " - 3 bags of crisps walking down the road .. a bloke pulls up ,says hay guys wanna lift? No thanks they replied we're walkers
- 2016 is like a crisp autumn wind on a clear day in Venice It blows.
(Get well soon Carrie) - shops have changed so much. In my day you could go in with a pound and get a bag of crisp and a magazazine now days they have cameras
- FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL MY AMERICAN FRIENDS.... It's Mum not Mom
It's crisps not chips
It's chips not fries
It's football not soccer
It's rugby not football
It's school not shooting range! - I bought several packets of crisps the other day... ....My friend asked me: "Why did you buy so many"
I replied: "Wotsit to you?"
true story - Did you hear Jurassic World got shut down? Apparently they found a crisp rat in the kitchen!
Share These Crisp Jokes With Friends
Crisp One Liners
Which crisp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crisp? I can suggest the ones about crick and crusty.
- How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even.
- A Fries Factory Burned Down It burned down to a crisp
- What's Santa's favorite snack? A crisp Pringle
- What do you call a sunburnt santa? Crisp Cringle
- What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit? Crisp Kringle.
- What is Rick Grimes' favourite type of crisps? Walkers
- What's an airline pilots favourite crisp flavour? Plain
- What religion is a potato? A Crisp-tian.
- Who is Logan Paul's favourite actor? Crisp Rat
- How do you want your coffee? Crisp.
- So I just found out what indias favourite flavour crisps are apparently it's sultan shake
- I recently came into a lot of money... Gives 'Crisp £20 Note' a whole new meaning.
- What do you call a man who wears crisp packets as trousers? Russell.
- What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps? Walkers
- What's a dude with sore feet favourite flavour of crisps? Cheese & Bunion
Walkers Crisp Jokes
Here is a list of funny walkers crisp jokes and even better walkers crisp puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference between British crisps and foreign crisps? One are Walkers and the others just Lays around.
- Two crisps were walking down the road A man pulled over and asked them if they wanted a lift.
They said "No thanks, we're walkers".
Lays are called Walkers in the UK
Uplifting Crisp Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about crisp you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crumbs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crisp pranks.
A man on a business trip went out for breakfast
When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"
The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."
Puzzled, the waitress said "What are you, crazy?!"
"No," said the man- "i'm homesick."
A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.
So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"
A lawyer gets paid
A client owed his lawyer $100. He handed him a crisp, new $100 bill. After the client left, the lawyer discovered that he actually received two $100 bills stuck together. This presented him with a dilemma. Should he tell his partner or not.
A woman walks into a bar
She sits at the counter and orders a salad with croutons and a creamy dressing.
The waiter delivers her salad, and she hands him a crisp $20 bill. As the waiter walks back to the cash register he holds it to the light and realizes it's a counterfeit! He snaps around to see the woman grabbing her salad and running for the door.
He shouts at the top of his lungs "Seize her salad!"
Quentin Crisp Quote
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My none-too-bright mate had an accident on a building site when a slate fell off the roof and sliced his ear off…
Here it is said one of the lads working with him holding up what looked like a b**... walkers ridge crisp.
My mate shook his head No, that's not it, mine had a pencil tucked behind it
There was one a girl called autumn
She once asked her mom
mom why am I called autumn?
her mom then said
when you were leaving the hospital a crisp
autumn leaf fell on your head
this makes rose curious so she asks the same thing
mom where did my name come from and the mom says while we were leaving the hospital a rose fell on your head
This of course prompts cinderblock to ask the same thing dykcsuoknnvcxsaetuiokmbvxawehk she says
Those cheap Beats headphones might be fakes! Here's how to tell.
Connect headphones to a decent audio source. Play any music. Listen closely to the music.
1. Note the nuances of the bass. Is it clean and well-defined?
2. Are the high frequencies nice and crisp?
3. Pay attention to the mid-range frequencies - are they balanced with the high and low frequencies?
If you answered YES to any of the above steps - sorry, you were ripped off!
I just got subscription to a Magazine About lettuce...
...I mean, It's fun to leaf through, and full of crisp facts -*And that's just issue 1!* The publishers assure me that it's only the tip of the iceberg! Gee, I can't wait for issue 2 to see what facts romaine!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it i**... to burn money to a crisp?
Cuz then it wouldn't be legal...*tender*
I went to pay the Cashier at the Grocery store
Cashier "That will be $18.35"
Me: Hands her a $50 bill
Cashier "Sorry sir, We cant accept that because we had too many problems with counterfeit currency. Do you have anything smaller?"
Me " I fully understand, Here you go.."
*Politely hands her a crisp $25 bill*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At my dad's f**..., everyone said that he was a very crisp man
He died in a fire.
