Crisis Jokes

Following is our collection of evacuate puns and kurds one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Crisis jokes for adults, dirty catastrophe jokes and clean stencil dad gags for kids.

The Best Crisis Puns

Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying?

Midlife crisis

Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying?

They were having a mid-life crisis.


If I had a dollar for every time I had an existential crisis

Would it even matter?

If i had a nickel for every existential crisis

it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless

Why was the baby in Africa crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.


Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a mid life crisis

why was the 6 month old African baby crying?

It was having a mid life crisis

Why did the antivaxxers 3 year old cry

He was having a midlife crisis

If I had a dollar for every existential crisis I've had

Does money even matter

Why do ethiopian children cry on their 6th birthday?

They hit a midlife crisis

Have you ever wondered why, during a crisis, they let women and children go first?

It's so the men can have some peace and quiet while they think about what to do.


I accidentally bought too many art supplies

I'm having an excess stencil crisis.

It was revealing when Americans bought toilet paper at the start of the COVID-19 Crisis

It goes to show in the midst of a worldwide pandemic, The Average American only cares about his own ass.

Why was Kurt Cobain depressed at 13?

Midlife Crisis.

Japanese Banking Crisis

Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry.


In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.


Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived.


Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black.


Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it's feared staff may get a raw deal.

Anti-Vaxx parents hate it when you call their toddler's outbursts a "temper tantrum."

They prefer the term "mid-life crisis"

Why was the 3 year old ethiopian kid crying

He was having a mid life crisis

Why was 1 year old African baby crying?

It was having a midlife crisis

Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible?

He was having a midlife crisis.


Nearly 200 million Chinese kids are back to school after COVID-19 crisis

Unemployment strikes again

Why does an Ethiopian baby cry?

It's having a mid life crisis
(Sorry If it's too dark)

Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

What did Kurt Kobain have such a terrible time in 7th grade?

He was having a mid-life crisis.

Have you heard about the shampoo crisis in jamaica?

It's dreadful

Why does an Ethiopian baby cry

It's having a midlife crisis

My girlfriend says she can't cope with delivering any more babies.

I think it's just a midwife crisis.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

I saw an anti-vaxxers 4 year old son throwing a tantrum at the grocery store yesterday.

Everything was OK, he was just having a mid-life crisis.

What's the difference between CoVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet?

One's a Coronavirus, the other is a Verona Crisis.

The Secret Sevice is not allowed to tell the president to get down

If there is a crisis they have to say Donald, Duck!

The Flintstones

A new middle east crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'.

A spokesman for the channel said....'A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour,

but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do.'

Why was the 3 year old African child crying?

He was going through a midlife crisis.

What's wrong with that 5 year old Ethiopian?

He's having a mid-life crisis

Excuse for speeding

This Middle aged man was going through his mid-life crisis so he went out and bought him a new bright red BMW. So he decided to take his new BMW on a test drive down the interstate one day.

He got up to about 85 mph and all of a sudden he saw this highway patrolman with his blue lights and siren blaring coming toward him. He decided he and his new BMW would outrun the officer. So the man sped up to 95 mph,and then to 105 mph, but the patrolman was still coming.

The man finally came to his senses and said to himself, "This is crazy, I could go to jail for this," so he pulled over.

The patrolman came to the car and told the man, "It has been a long day and I am tired. If you can give me an excuse no one else has ever given me I will let you go."

So the man told the officer, "Last night my wife ran off with a patrolman and when I seen you chasing me I thought you were trying to bring her back."

The officer looked at the man and said, "Have a nice day."

Why was Karen's unvaccinated two year old crying?

Midlife crisis

So apparently Justin Timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine.

It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.

Why are ethiopian children always crying?

Midlife crisis.

Why wouldn't the four month old African stop crying?

He was going through a midlife crisis

What is it called when too many people pass gas inside of a mine?

An excess stench hole crisis.

Did you hear about the six month old Ethiopian child?

He was having a mid life crisis

What do you call a 1-year-old Nigerian kid crying?

Mid-Life Crisis

I've suffered from identity crisis since I was a little boy.

I mean girl.

Why are 8 year old African children always so depressed?

Mid-life crisis

Can you imagine if none of the midwives showed up for a birth?

That would be a midwife crisis

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees

Midlife crisis

Why was the anti vaxxers two year old crying?

Because he was having a mid-life crisis

I feel really bad for kids in third world countries...

They have to go through puberty and their mid-life crisis at the same time.

What's the roughest part about being a 7-year-old in Liberia?

The mid-life crisis.

Why was the one y.o. Ethiopian child crying?

Because he was having his mid-life crisis.

I can't find anyone to help me deliver my baby.

I'm having a midwife crisis.

Update on the crisis at the stair factory

The situation is escalating

What do you call complications during chidbirth

A midwife crisis.

What happens when a hospital runs out of labor and delivery nurses?

They have a mid-wife crisis.

What do you call an anti-vaxer's child's terrible twos?

A midlife crisis

What do you call a mathematical function with too many powers?

An exponential crisis.

What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife?

A midwife crisis.

Until this crisis is over im going to stick to masturbation just before 8pm on Thursday evenings

The neighbourhood applauding me as I finish is just the confident booster I need

Why does the 2 year old child of the anti-vaccine parents cry?

Midlife crisis.

Why did the African child have a mental breakdown at age 8?

He was having his midlife crisis.

Why did the four year old anti vax kid cry?

Because he was in his midlife crisis.

No matter what you think of the celebrities commenting on how we handle the current crisis, you should ALWAYS listen to music producers.

They give sound advice.

Even though Sea World is shut down, the animals still need to be taken care of

Obama answers the call for volunteers. On his first day, they assign him to feed the baby dolphins.

As he is doing so, another volunteer accosts him "Our country is in crisis. Don't you have anything better to do?"

He replied "I think I'm serving a youthful porpoise."

Why did it took so long to investigate Flint water crisis?

They never appointed a lead detective

The lady who birthed babies started questioning her career choice.

I think she was going through a midwife crisis.
...

The 40 year old health care worker who cares for newborns started questioning her career choices, then flipped out and left town

I guess she was having a midwife crisis

Parents: our baby won't stop crying!

Doctor: how old is he?

Parents:one

Doctor:is he vaccinated?

Parents:no, why?

Doctor:I'm afraid he's having a midlife crisis...

Why was the Valve developer crying?

He was having a Half-Life crisis.

Why was the Ethiopian child crying?

He was having a midlife crisis.

Why was the 24,100 year old plutonium upset?

It was having a half-life crisis.

What do you call it if a midwife doesn't show up?

A midwife crisis!


I'll leave now.

There is an abundance of mentor jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 70 funniest jokes and crisis puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any distress witze you can hear about crisis.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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