Crippling Jokes
61 crippling jokes and hilarious crippling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crippling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you living with the effects of crippling depression? This article looks at how biotics and delusions can make symptoms of depression worse. Learn more about how you can combat these negative thought patterns and take control of your mental health.
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Funniest Crippling Short Jokes
Short crippling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crippling humour may include short devastating jokes also.
- This just in: A white flag factory has burned to the ground in Paris... ... Effectively crippling the French military.
- I saw some crippled kid getting picked on the other day... He got kinda upset with me when I told him to stand up for himself.
- I wondered if becoming a furry could help me escape my crippling depression... Unfortunately, the veterinarian insisted that he still wasn't going to euthanize me.
- What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps,
And has legs but never walks?
A mute, crippled insomniac - What's the difference between crippling depression and crippled depression? One can't get out of bed because they're depressed, the other is depressed because they can't get out of bed.
- In a dangerous situation, I'd always put my children first. I do this because I have a crippling habit of hiding behind my mistakes.
- I think the saddest part about all those crippled children getting picked on was that I only did it because I knew they couldn't stand up for themselves
- My financial adviser asked me what I bring home at the end of every month. "Crippling depression," I told him.
- A cripple walks into a bar. Just kidding, no he doesn't.
- Me: Hi, I'm trying to fix my crippling fear of rejection, can I have your number? Girl(s): absolutely not
Me: ah, thankyou.
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Crippling One Liners
Which crippling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crippling? I can suggest the ones about heartbreaking and frightening.
- What doesn't kill you cripples you with medical debt.
- Which sith lord prefers to cripple his opponents rather than kill them? Darth Ritis
- What has 2 legs but can not walk? A cripple.
- What do you call a crippled kid locked in a hot car? Steamed Vegetable.
- What gets larger every single time I see my girlfriend? My crippling debt.
- Why did the crippled kid get bullied at school? Because he can't stand up for himself.
- I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled It's crippling
- My pet rock was crippled in an accident It's been hard on all of us
- I suffer from crippling narcissism. I'm a victim of it.
- What do you call three disabled people fighting? Cripple threat match
- Ronda Rouseys next fight has been announced! Ronda Rousey V. Crippling Depression
- What has four wheels and flies? A homeless cripple
- What did the sad YouTube video say? I have crippling compression.
- why does the crippled kid keep getting bullied he cant stand up for himself
- Who do you call when your wheelchair gets a flat? Cripple A.
Crippling Depression Jokes
Here is a list of funny crippling depression jokes and even better crippling depression puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Recent studies show that 100% of people disabled from the waist down are diagnosed with a mental disorder Crippling Depression
- Only 90's kids will get this! Crippling depression and social anxiety
- If Happiness was as easy to invoke as Hate..... I probably wouldn't have crippling depression right now.
- What do you call a sad man in a wheelchair? Crippling depression.
- Everyone's the protagonist of their own story... I just have crippling depression because I'm a horror novelist
- America in the 1930s be like: I have crippling depression.
- If I had one dollar for every time somebody made fun of my crippling depression...
- What's the best thing about crippling depression? Not having to worry about going to bed, because you never got out.
- What's funnier than 24? Crippling depression
Hilarious Crippling Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What funny jokes about crippling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean painful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crippling pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs...
Now they're a Pythagorean cripple.
are you sure I'm drunk?
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in pal. You're obviously drunk."
The wasted man asked, "Officer, are you absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah buddy, I'm sure," said the cop, "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness. I thought I was crippled."
A child has a crippling fear of the word 'this'. He goes to the doctor with his mother to discuss his problem.
The Doctor asks "What's the problem?"
And the mother replies "There's no easy way to say this."
Two friends and a cripple are waiting for a train.
Someone bumps into the cripple and his wheelchair starts moving. He falls between the platforms and can't get back up. Then he hears the train coming.
One of the friends tries to jump in and save him, but the other friend grabs him and says, "You're not supposed to go past the yellow line".
3 cousins are together talking about their names. The first, a raven haired beauty, says "when my mother was pregnant a rose fell from a bush and landed on her stomach so she named me Rose".
The second, a beautiful blonde, says, "when my mother was pregnant a violet landed on her stomach, so she named me Violet".
She turns to the 3rd cousin, a small crippled girl in a wheelchair, "how did u get your name, Piano??".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once set a crippled kid on fire...
I call it Hot Wheels
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a hole that handicaps people?
Crippling depression
My friend Billy Bob and I visited a place where you can stand in three states at once: Oklahoma, Kansas, and Missouri. Billy Bob opened up and said that he was actually in a fourth state; crippling depression. I said, I'm so sorry
... but you can't count Missouri twice.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandad said there's gangs at his retirement village
The blood clots and the cripples
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a crippled man in a wheelchair at a gas station once.
He bought a couple of scratch off lottery tickets, scratched the surface with his coin, and shouted with glee, I won ten thousand dollars! . Well I was broke, and I needed gas money to get to my shift at work. I asked the crippled man, excuse me sir? Is there any possible way I could have ten dollars, just to put into my gas tank so I can get to work? The crippled man stared deeply at me and said, you can have your ten dollars when you pry them from my cold dead hands.
And that's the story of how I got ten thousand dollars.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpose in life would be death. So it escaped the farm, and took off to the highway... it saw the lights, and though the creature feared death, it was relieved to be free from the fear that plagued it.
So in short... to get to the other side.
There's a crippled old beggar on a sidewalk in El Paso with a sign and a paper cup..
A businessman stops, reads the sign that says 'Disabled Vet' and decides to give him a few dollars.
"Look on the bright side," he says. "Things could be worse- you could be blind!"
"I know what you mean.." says the beggar, "When I was blind, people only gave me pesos!"
A man was driving on the highway in the US when suddenly he was hit by a drunk driver, breaking his right arm, puncturing his lung, and putting him into a short coma
Despite not having insurance, he left the hospital without any financially crippling debt that would haunt him for the rest of his life and compromise his future savings.
