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Crimea Jokes

85 crimea jokes and hilarious crimea puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crimea that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From Putin puns to satirical portrayals of the Crimean River running backwards, these hilarious Crimea jokes will have you lol-ing. Share these nyet-worthy Crimean puns and Vlad-inspired jokes with your friends. Get ready to have a laugh with these Russian rushin jokes!

Best Short Crimea Jokes

Short crimea jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crimea humour may include short crimea river jokes also.

  1. Justin Timberlake announces that he will be joining the war in Ukrain. Early reports suggest that he will be stationed somewhere along the Crimea river
  2. What did Zelensky reply to Putin when he called him to complain about the exploded bridge? Crimea River!
  3. Justin Timberlake has volunteered to fight along side ukrainian Forces His first task… Crimea River
  4. Justin Timberlake announced he would be joining the war effort in Ukraine. Rumors state that he will be positioned somewhere along the Crimea River.
  5. Bought a Russian car... The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"
  6. So apparently justin timberlake is going to write a song for all the people that have been devastated by the crisis in Ukraine. It's going to be called 'Crimea River'.
  7. Justin Timberlake is bad at geography He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.
  8. Trump calls Putin on the phone Trump says, "You need to stop annexing territory in Ukraine"
    Putin responds, "Crimea river"
  9. Did you know that Justin Timberlake is not from America? He's actually from the Crimea River.
  10. Tired of people complaining about Ukrainian body's of water that Russia is occupying Crimea river.

Quick Jump To


Crimea joke, Tired of people complaining about Ukrainian body's of water that Russia is occupying


Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crimea can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crimea puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Crimea One Liners

Which crimea one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crimea? I can suggest the ones about motherland and leader.

  1. Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine? The Crimea River
  2. Justin Timberlake visits the ukraine. Where does he visit first? Crimea River
  3. What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading? Crimea River.
  4. Where does Justin Timberlake take his holidays in Russia ? Crimea River
  5. What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song? Crimea River...
  6. What is Justin Timberlake's favourite Ukrainian river? The Crimea River.
  7. What is Putins favorite song to play for Ukraine? Crimea-River
  8. What's the least sympathetic body of water? The Crimea River
  9. What flows through Ukraine and doesn't care about your feelings? Crimea River
  10. Which river is always sad? The Crimea River
  11. What is Justin Timberlake's Favorite vacation spot in the Ukraine? Crimea River
  12. What was Justin Timberlake's biggest hit in Russia? Crimea River
  13. Biden to Putin: Stop planning the invasion of Ukraine. Putin: Crimea River.
  14. What did Stalin say to all the thousands of people he killed? Crimea river
  15. What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe? The Crimea River.

Crimea River Jokes

Here is a list of funny crimea river jokes and even better crimea river puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's Putins favourite song? Crimea River
  • So, you're the leader of a country who wants access to the Eastern Mediterranean, Balkans and Middle East, but you're not able to get it? Oh, Crimea river.
  • What's the #1 song in Ukraine? Crimea River
  • What is the saddest body of water? Crimea River
  • What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ? Crimea River
  • Where does Justin Timberlake like to go canoeing? Crimea river
  • What's the current number one song in Russia? Crimea river
  • Where do unsympathetic Ukrainians come from? The Crimea River
  • What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American? Crimea River.
  • I heard Justin Timberlake is going to Ukraine He's going to Crimea River
Crimea joke, I heard Justin Timberlake is going to Ukraine

Fun-Filled Crimea Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about crimea you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean allies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crimea prank.

Russian referendum.

Russia initiates a referendum in Crimea about returning Crimea back to Russia. Ukraine initiates a referendum about returning Kaliningrad to Germany, Sakhalin and the Kuril Islands to Japan, Kazan - to Tatar, Karelia - to Finland, Siberia to Yakuts, and everything situated east from Ural mountains - to ingenious people.

What did Russia tell the Ukraine?

Crimea river

Ukraine asks Russia to leave...

Russia replies, "Crimea river."

Did you hear about Russia's preservation new project?

The Crimea River

Timeline of Russian conquests

1552 - Annexation of Kazan
1554 - Annexation of Astrakhan
1555 - Annexation of Siberia
1783 - Annexation of Crimea
1920 - Annexation of Crimea
1944 - Annexation of Crimea
2014 - Annexation of Crimea

What does Vladimir Putin call a waterslide made from the tears of Western Europeans?

Crimea River.

Russia and Ukraine.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?
Go Crimea River.

Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries

He responded: Oh go Crimea river

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

What did Russia say to Ukraine after they annexed their peninsula?

Crimea river.

What is Justin Timberlake's favourite place to swim in Europe?

Crimea River

What did Putin say to Obama when Russia annexed Crimea?

Crimea river.

What did the peninsula say before it was split in half by a flowing mass of water?

Crimea River

Justin Timberlake loves the Ukraine

Or, more specifically, the Crimea River

Does anyone know how the Russians feel about their government?

I know my friend Pavlik got really worked up over Crimea, but that's pretty annexdotal...

How did Putin annex Crimea so fast?

Because he is always Russian.

What does Putin say to people when they're sad?

Crimea river.

Justin Timberlake seems to have a weird obsession

with some river in Crimea

An Italian guy cracking a joke

Q: Why Russia is-a not safe?
A: Because of crime-a

Have you heard Justin Timberlake'**... song about his favorite Ukrainian body of water?

The Crimea River

Joe Biden called a press conference, to discuss his meeting with Vladimir Putin…

The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants peace.
After everyone cheered and clapped in relief, he added the bad news…
A piece of Crimea, a piece of Ukraine, a piece of Finland…

Everyone wants me to care about Russia and Ukraine right now. Boo-Hoo!

Crimea River

Putin dies and goes to h**.......

Because of good behaviour he is allowed out for a few days and goes to Moscow, where he visits a bar. He orders a shot of v**... and asks:
\- Is Crimea ours?
\> Belongs to us.
\- And Donbas and Kiev?
\>Ours!
\- Perfect. How much is that?
\> Five euros.

Justin Timberlake is going to Ukraine

He is going to be stationed by Crimea river

Putin dies and goes to h**...

Putin dies and goes to h**..., but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros.

Putin dies and goes to h**......

but after a while, he is given the day off for good behavior.
So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin drinks and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros.

Putin dies and goes to h**...

After a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.
So he decides to visit Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:
-Is Crimea ours?
-Yes, it is.
-And the Donbas?
-Also ours.
-And Kyiv?
-We got that too.
Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink, and asks:
-Thanks, how much do I owe you?
-5 euros

Crimea joke, What did Zelensky reply to Putin when he called him to complain about the exploded bridge?

jokes about crimea

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crimea jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.