The Best 57 Crimea Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Crimea jokes. There are some crimea kremlin jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these crimea moscow puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Crimea Jokes and Puns

How did Vladimir Putin respond to John Kerry's comments invading Ukraine?

Crimea River

What did Russia tell the Ukraine?

Crimea river

What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Crimea River

Crimea joke, What's the #1 song in Ukraine?

Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Where does Putin negotiate?

The Crimea River


Ukraine asks Russia to leave...

Russia replies, "Crimea river."

Today I was on Crimea St

It was flooded.

Crimea joke, Today I was on Crimea St

Did you hear about Russia's preservation new project?

The Crimea River

What are the 3 most played songs on Vladimir Putin's iPod?

Crimea river
Georgia on my mind
Back in the U.S.S.R

Timeline of Russian conquests

1552 - Annexation of Kazan

1554 - Annexation of Astrakhan

1555 - Annexation of Siberia

1783 - Annexation of Crimea

1920 - Annexation of Crimea

1944 - Annexation of Crimea

2014 - Annexation of Crimea

Justin Timberlake visits the Ukraine. Where does he visit first?

Crimea River

You can explore crimea rushin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean crimea russian dad jokes. There are also crimea puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What did Putin say to Ukraine after invading?

Crimea River.

What did the Ukrainian say to the whiny American?

Crimea River.

Where do sad Ukrainians go?

Crimea River.

What does Vladimir Putin call a waterslide made from the tears of Western Europeans?

Crimea River.

Russia and Ukraine.

What did Russia say to Ukraine?

Go Crimea River.

Crimea joke, Russia and Ukraine.

What is Justin Timberlake's favourite Ukrainian river?

The Crimea River.

What did Stalin say to all the thousands of people he killed?

Crimea river

What's the current number one song in Russia?

Crimea river


Where does Justin Timberlake go swimming when he's in the Ukraine?

The Crimea River

Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries

He responded: Oh go Crimea river

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday?

Crimea a river

What is Putin's favorite Justin Timberlake song?

Crimea River...

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea?

None according to the Russians.

What is Justin Timberlake's Favorite vacation spot in the Ukraine?

Crimea River

Tired of people complaining about Ukrainian body's of water that Russia is occupying

Crimea river.

Someone has been asked

"have you ever been to Crimea?"

"Yes, but I was really small"

"How small were you?"

"So small that I went there in my Dad and got home in my Mom"

Edited: wording

Bought a Russian car...

The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"

What did Russia say to Ukraine after they annexed their peninsula?

Crimea river.

I heard Russia is invading Ukraine again...

...Crimea river!

Trump calls Putin on the phone

Trump says, "You need to stop annexing territory in Ukraine"

Putin responds, "Crimea river"

What is Justin Timberlake's favourite place to swim in Europe?

Crimea River

Where does Justin Timberlake take his holidays in Russia ?

Crimea River

What did Putin say to Obama when Russia annexed Crimea?

Crimea river.

What did the peninsula say before it was split in half by a flowing mass of water?

Crimea River

Justin Timberlake loves the Ukraine

Or, more specifically, the Crimea River

Apparently Putin wants to rename a river in the annexed region of Ukraine

Crimea a river

Does anyone know how the Russians feel about their government?

I know my friend Pavlik got really worked up over Crimea, but that's pretty annexdotal...

What was Justin Timberlake's biggest hit in Russia?

Crimea River

So, you're the leader of a country who wants access to the Eastern Mediterranean, Balkans and Middle East, but you're not able to get it?

Oh, Crimea river.

Which river is always sad?

The Crimea River

How did Putin annex Crimea so fast?

Because he is always Russian.

What's Justin Timberlakes favorite part of Eastern Europe?

The Crimea River.

What did Putin say to a starving Ukranian family after they asked for mercy?

Oh Crimea a river vould ya!

Where do unsympathetic Ukrainians come from?

The Crimea River

What was Russia's response to the Ukrainian crisis?

"Crimea river"

I got into an argument over Crimea, which my friend claimed was a penninsula, I said it was a river. He laughed and I couldn't believe he didn't know the song "Crimea River"

Russia: Hey Ukraine, wanna hear a joke?

Ukraine: Sure!

Russia: Crimea.

Ukraine: I don't get it.

Russia: You will never get it.

What does Putin say to people when they're sad?

Crimea river.

Where does Justin Timberlake like to go canoeing?

Crimea river

What's a sadder place than Crimea?

Crimea river

Justin Timberlake seems to have a weird obsession

with some river in Crimea

What's the most sarcastic body of water on Earth ?

Crimea River

An Italian guy cracking a joke

Q: Why Russia is-a not safe?





A: Because of crime-a

Justin Timberlake is bad at geography

He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.

What flows through Ukraine and doesn't care about your feelings?

Crimea River

What's the least sympathetic body of water?

The Crimea River

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the crimea russia jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working crimea cyka piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes