Crim Jokes
88 crim jokes and hilarious crim puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crim that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Unearthly Funniest Crim Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What is a good crim joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A crime in the park
A man walked into his house, and casually mentioned to his wife that he had seen a kid napping in the park. The wife was frantic, "What did you do about it?!" The man said, "Nothing, I let him sleep."
Crime on multi-story car parks,
it's wrong on so many levels.
A criminal said: "You'll never catch me!"
He was bad at mathematics.
Crime in lifts.
Its wrong on so many levels
I know someone who has got two of those new criminal behaviour orders...
He is akrimbo...
A crime boss works part time selling grass to people in his home city...
I went over to his shop and asked if I could help him with his sales. He told me to stay off his turf.
If crime doesn't pay...
... than you're doing it wrong.
Everyone knows you can tell a criminal is lying if his lips are moving, but how do you know when a cop is lying?
His pen is moving.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a crime scene....
"So, Rookie, What do you make of all this?"
"Well, the vic was found n**... in bed, severely beaten to death. Sounds like a clear cut m**... case if you ask me"
"close. Our prime suspect is his wife, a morbidly obese woman who says he asked to be on the bottom during s**..."
"So it was a s**... then...."
Criminal on the electric chair. The officer ask: Any last wishes?
The criminal: Please hold my hand...
What did the Criminal call his new pretzel company?
Assault and Buttery
Why are crime rates down in the US?
Because criminals keep turning themselves into police.
Where do criminal spiders hang out?
The deep web
Why are criminals so good at basketball?
They shoot first and ask questions later.
Why did the criminal hide in the roof?
It was very Con-Ceiling.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Criminals flood in from across the English Channel.
"They have no respect for our laws," said a Marseille policeman ahead of England's first game.
Why was there no crime in the Soviet Union?
There was nothing worth stealing...
Crime really does happen at Pokestops!
I met up with my dealer at one last night.
What do criminal courts in Spain call community service?
Manuel labor
Why didn't the criminal train operator die when he got the electric chair?
he was a bad conductor.
What crime did the man get charged with when he killed a black man?
Impersonating a police officer.
What crime did the viticulturist get imprisoned for?
Grape.
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