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Cricket Jokes

69 cricket jokes and hilarious cricket puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about cricket that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Check out this hilarious collection of cricket bug and ashes jokes, perfect for any cricket fan looking for a good laugh. From cricket umpire jokes to cricket comedy, these jokes will have you rolling on the floor. Get ready to forget the game of cricket, badminton and even football, with these rib-tickling cricket jokes.

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Funniest Cricket Short Jokes

Short cricket jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cricket humour may include short soccer jokes also.

  1. China should never take part in the Cricket World Cup They can screw over any country with just a bat
  2. (popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team? They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..
  3. My friend gets crickets when he needs to feed his pet scorpion. Do you know when I get crickets? Every time I tell a joke.
  4. My sons joke - if you've a cricket ball in one hand, and a cricket ball in the other hand. What have you got? A big cricket.
  5. if you have 1 cricket ball in 1 hand and another cricket ball in the other, what do you have? 1 very large cricket
  6. How is Karwa Chauth like a cricket game? Both involve fasting... until the moon comes out!
  7. My wife and I were sitting in our living room in silence looking at our phones... We heard a cricket outside and she looked at me and said "I heard a cricket chirping, but you didn't tell a joke"
  8. I'm going to apply for the job as Australia's next cricket captain. I've been ball tampering for years and never got caught.
  9. My wife asked me if I had seen the dog bowl. I replied that I didn't know he played cricket.
  10. A cricketer walks into a hospital with blood pouring out of his eyes, the doctor says "Ebola" and the cricketer replies "Nah, i'm a batsman"

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Cricket One Liners

Which cricket one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cricket? I can suggest the ones about rugby and tennis.

  1. China should have a cricket team. They can take out the whole world with one bat
  2. I drive my car like I play cricket I hit and run
  3. What is atheism? A non-prophet organization
    *crickets chirp*
  4. How do you grow crickets? You tell bad jokes
  5. The Pakistani cricket team walk into a bar... to watch the Indian Premier League
  6. The Australian Cricket Team.
  7. I just made a joke about the EU's decision to allow insects in food. [crickets]
  8. What do you call 365 condoms recycled into a tire? A good year.
    *sound of crickets*
  9. Today in cricket.... Indians showed their attachment to 7-11.
  10. I've been trying to think of a name for my Cricket shop. But I'm stumped.
  11. Why did the cricket team need cigarette lighters? Because they lost all of their matches!
  12. Why don't grasshoppers watch football? They prefer cricket!
  13. What do amputees and cricket have in common? Stumps
  14. Why is Africa so bad at cricket? Because they only have Ebola!
  15. Why don't Chinese play Cricket? Because they'll eat the bat.

Cricket Team Jokes

Here is a list of funny cricket team jokes and even better cricket team puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between Cinderella and the Australian Cricket team? Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.
  • A new DC storyline involves the Dark Knight being kidnapped by a cricket team... After being told he escaped the locked room, the Boss screamed "Howzat happen?"
  • Whats the difference between the English cricket team and a teabag? A teabag stays in the cup longer
  • The England cricket team...
  • The English Cricket Team
  • Did you hear about the Indian cricket team having ebola? They also have a batter
  • What do you make a West African player on your cricket team? Ebola

Cricket Match Jokes

Here is a list of funny cricket match jokes and even better cricket match puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An essay on cricket match Teacher told all students
    in a class to write an essay
    on a cricket match.
    All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
    He wrote No match, due to rain!!!
  • {Watch@Day1} IND. vs. SL. 1st. Test. Cricket. Match. 2015. Sony Kix. Sony Six.

England Cricket Jokes

Here is a list of funny england cricket jokes and even better england cricket puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Everything England has accomplished has been bettered by other nations - rugby, cricket and now at football... Even the Russians have better hooligans than us.

Cricket Bug Jokes

Here is a list of funny cricket bug jokes and even better cricket bug puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got a good look at that new Don Bradman Cricket game Oddly enough I couldn't find a single bug
Cricket joke, I got a good look at that new Don Bradman Cricket game

Rib-Tickling Cricket Jokes that Bring Friends Together

What funny jokes about cricket you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean baseball jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cricket pranks.

A man sitting on a bench...

is watching two of his fellow asylum patients playing cricket. The batsman has no bat and the bowler has no ball. The man on the bench looks very upset at the two "playing" cricket. A nurse walks up to him and asks, "What's wrong, sir? Do you want to play cricket with the others?" The man replies, "NO! But you will see who is mad and who is crazy in here if that ball hits me!"

"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"


In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.

Why is the sport of cricket called cricket?

A: **Because it's boring.**
*Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*

after watching the Cricket for a few hours I think I finally understand it

they make that noise by rubbing their wings together

How do you find out that a cricket hears with its legs?

First, you put the cricket on a box, tap the box, and you see that the cricket jumps away.
Now, you cut his legs off, put him on a box, tap the box, and you'll see that the cricket does not jump away.

What is green, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on to you from a tree in the jungle?

A snooker table. (Courtesy of Leigh Hart on the Alternative Commentary Collective during the New Zealand v South Africa Cricket World Cup semi-final)

The first testicular guard was used in Cricket...

The first testicular guard was used in Cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.
It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important.

My buddy's cricket joke

What do women and cricket have in common?
When the pads come out it's time to bat

Why couldn't Robin play cricket?

Because he lost his bat, man.

How is the situation husband with his pregnant wife

Husband wanted to call the hospital
to ask about his pregnant wife,
but accidently called the cricket stadium.
He asks, "How's the situation?"
He was shocked & nearly died on hearing the reply.
They said, "It's fine. 3 are out,
hope to get another 7 out by lunch,
last one was a duck!"

I love the English cricket team....

The thinnest guy is called broad, ugliest guy is called swann, slowest fielder is trott, guy who is 'behind' the stumps is called prior, and guy whose father's name is john is called peter-son. And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.
No doubt, this Cricket team deserves to be led by a Cook.

A cricket is in love with a mantis

but he's terrified, because he keeps hearing that a mantis will eat the male after s**.... Nevertheless, one night the cricket gets really drunk and propositions the mantis. The two have amazing s**... all night long, but in the morning the cricket comes to his senses and starts eyeing the mantis warily.
"What's wrong?" asks the mantis.
"Well, I don't want to make this weird, but are you going to try to eat me?"
"Oh, don't worry, only the females do that."

This guy tried to sell me his idea of a cricket field lit by LED lights.

It was an interesting pitch.

What do you call a Disney character who just wants to take over the world?

Hegemony Cricket.

TIL crickets only do their iconic "yelling" chirp in the presence of wild moths. Unfortunately, my cricket has none.

He has no moth and he must scream.

The cricketer was proud of his progress as a batsman and invited his mother-in-law along to watch him play, hoping to impress her.

At the crease, he turned to the wicketkeeper and said "I'm anxious to do well and really hit this ball. That's my wife's mother over there." "Don't be silly," said the wicketkeeper. "You'll never hit her at 200 hundred yards."

If I have a cricket ball in my left hand and a cricket ball in my right hand

I then have the undivided attention of a very large cricket.

A woman is giving birth and her husband rushes to the hospital to be there.

On his way, he decides to call the hospital to see how she's doing but he accidentally calls the local cricket ground. Someone answers.
Hi. How's everything going there?
Well... we have three out and hope to have the rest out by lunch. Last one was a Duck.

Kerry Okeefe wife joke

Oh, yeah, - O’Keeffe began. - When we had to start spending more time at home, I noticed this woman sitting in my lounge room.
Yeah, because I was in and out (of the house) with (my) Fox Cricket (commentary duties),
And with COVID … I started to talk to her.
And she told me she was my wife! - O’Keeffe cried - And we’re getting on really well! There’s a plus to COVID … I met my missus!

England cricket team visited an orphanage in Chennai today

It is so tragic and heartbreaking to see their little faces with no hope! I wish we could do something to help them!
Said 6 year old Venkatswamy after the crushing defeat of English cricket team

I stayed in an English Hotel that was so quaint that when I we first arrived, rather than a mint, there were a couple of cricket b**... and a bat on the bed.

Though the bat did fly out of the window after only a few minutes, and I never did find the rest of the cricket.

An expectant father wants to call the local hospital to ask about his wife, who's in labour...

But in his haste, he accidentally calls the local cricket ground instead.
He asks about the situation, and the shock almost kills him.
"All is well, we've already got 3 out, there's another 7 to go, and we're hoping to be finished by lunchtime. Last one out was a duck."
(This one will make more sense to English readers, but enjoy it anyway!)

Cricket joke, An expectant father wants to call the local hospital to ask about his wife, who's in labour...

jokes about cricket