The Best 37 Cremation Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cremation jokes. There are some cremation ashes jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cremation cemetery puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cremation Jokes and Puns

I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking .

Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .

How to creep out a mortician

How to creep out a mortician.

1. Go in to pre-plan your funeral.

2. Tell him, "I want my remains scattered over the sunflower fields of Fayetteville."

3. He says, "We can do that. The cost for cremation is..."

4. Say, "Cremation? Who said anything about cremation?"

5. Mortician creep-out ensues.

The lawyer called his client overseas...

..."Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep and I can't reach any other relatives. Shall we order burial or cremation?"

Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order both."

Cremation joke, The lawyer called his client overseas...

Why does it smell like burnt plastic?

They just started Joan Rivers cremation.

RIP

Joan Rivers was not available for cremation...

They had to recycle her instead.


Why aren't cremations given out for free?

Because you have to urn them.

The fattest man in Britain has sadly died.

Cremation will be held at 12PM on Wednesday.....

and Thursday.....

and Friday.

Cremation joke, The fattest man in Britain has sadly died.

America's fattest man has died.

The cremation will be next Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

Antonin Scalia requested cremation in his will, but millions of women will meet tomorrow to discuss if that's really best for his body.

Millions of women will meet tomorrow to discuss if that's really best for his body.

Took my Grandma to a nibble fish spa..

It's cheaper than burial or cremation!

What's the hottest kind of necrophilia?

Cremation.

You can explore cremation cremate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cremation crematorium dad jokes. There are also cremation puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Tried to pick up a woman at a cremation once.

Got my fingers burnt.

Cremation

My last chance at a smoking hot body

The man who has set himself on fire during a protest has died of his injuries.

His cremation will be continued next week.

What do you call the rest of a unique fortune teller's cremation?

A rare medium well done.

Cremation isn't free

You gotta urn it

Cremation joke, Cremation isn't free

I took my grandmother to a place that for only 45$ they put you in a bath filled with fish that eat the dead skin off :)

It was cheaper than cremation or a burial!

I finally figured out how to get a smoking hot body

Cremation.

When I am over the age of 65...

If I get a bad sunburn. Please don't call it a sunburn, call it Pre-bake for cremation .


I got fired on the first day of my new job for asking customers if they would prefer "Smoking or Non-Smoking."

Apparently, the correct phrase is, "Cremation or Burial."

Why doesn't everyone choose cremation?

You have to urn it.

What do you call any dead body during cremation?

Lit AF.

I took my grandma to fish spa. Everyone freaked out!

But in my defense, it's more affordable than cremation.

Wasn't sure how to afford funeral expenses until I remembered...

A cremation saved is a cremation urned.

Right before I die, i'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels.

My cremation is going to be epic.

Before I die

Before I die I am going to eat a whole bag of unpopped popcorn.

That should make the cremation a little more interesting.

Before I die

I will swallow a lot of gunpowder.
That should make the cremation a little more interesting

After I die, I want my remains spread at my favorite places around the world so my family can experience them too.

But I don't believe in cremation.

Will moses be at the president's cremation?

To witness another burning bush.

Right before I die, I'm going to eat an entire bag unpopped popcorn

It will make the cremation very interesting.

The other day, we took my Grandpa to one of those spas where the fish eat your dead flesh.

It's a lot cheaper than cremation.

Before i die im going to eat a whole bag of un-poped popcorn

Hopefully it will make the cremation a bit more interesting

How do you get a smokin' hot bod in no time at all?

Cremation

The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age?

Cremation.

Cremation

My final hope for a smokin' hot body!

I got fired today because I asked a customer whether they wanted it "raw or well done"

I was informed I should have said "burial or cremation" instead.

A young man is fired from his job after asking customers if they wanted smoking or nonsmoking.

He was fired because the correct terminology in the funeral home business is cremation or burial.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cremation burial jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cremation undertaker piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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