The Best 22 Cremate Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Cremate jokes. There are some cremate died jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these cremate undertaker puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Cremate Jokes and Puns

My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother..

We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.

When my grandfather died we scattered his remains in the sea

Everyone on the beach panicked because we didn't cremate him...

My Gran died of asbestosis.

It was terrible, it took us four months to cremate her.

Cremate joke, My Gran died of asbestosis.

Being cremated.....

..... is my last hope for a smoking hot body.

Two friends meet at a bar

Guy 1: Can you believe i just spent $3000 to cremate my mother-in-law?

Guy 2: Oh really? i only paid $500 to cremate my mother-in-law

Guy 1: Yeah but your mother-in-law was dead...


There is absolutely nothing wrong with asbestos

My grandfather worked around asbestos for 60 years and never developed any health issues. It did take 3 straight days to cremate him, but that's besides the point.

My wife and I have different ideas on death.

I want to be cremated when I die and she wants to cremate me now.

Cremate joke, My wife and I have different ideas on death.

My grandfather died of asbestosis.

Took 6 months to cremate him.

This works better in person when you get the other person believing you first.

I want to be cremated as it is my last hope

for a smoking hot body.

I want to be cremated...

So I can finally have a smoking hot body!!

Andy Griffith's family are undecided on funeral arrangements.

They may cremate, they Mayberry

You can explore cremate crematorium reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean cremate mortician dad jokes. There are also cremate puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My grandpa died of asbestosis

It took three weeks to cremate him.

Why we cremate people:

Some people get creamted because when you die, your family is gonna want to put you in a casket for the funeral. And if they can't decide whether to choose open or closed, they compromise... and put you in ajar.

Husband: Hunny, when I die...

I want you to cremate me and put me in a whistle so you can blow me one last time.

So Thatcher is dead... Apparently they can't cremate her...

...this lady is not for Burning

What made the Scottish man decide to cremate his wife?

A recipe instructed him to place his bird in the oven for 6 hours.

Cremate joke, What made the Scottish man decide to cremate his wife?

Cremated people...

... have urned it

What did the cremated Buddha who was placed in a cardboard box say?

'I'm in light urn.'

I had a granny that we couldnt decide whether to bury or cremate

In the end we decided to just let her live.


When my grandfather died, we scattered his remains in the sea.

People at the beach started freaking out though, because we didn't cremate him.

Why haven't they cremated Colonel Sanders yet?

They haven't decided on regular or extra crispy.

My cremated aunt used to give great advice.

She always told me that you have to urn your place in life.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the cremate ashes jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working cremate cremator piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes