Creepy Jokes

Following is our collection of horrible puns and scary one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Creepy jokes for adults, dirty diddler jokes and clean creepiest dad gags for kids.

The Best Creepy Puns

I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"

"Barely legal".

Because "almost underage" sounds a bit creepy.

What do you call a creepy old guy who hangs out at malls, and has sex with under age teens?

In Alabama, your Honor, but soon it will be "Senator".

Two men in a park.

A creepy guy walks up to another man in a park.
Creepy guy leans close to the man and whispers "do you have any naked photos of your wife?"

The man angrily says "certainly not".

Creepy guy says "would you like to buy some?"

They were going to make an iWatch for kids but

iWatch Kids sounds a bit creepy.

What do you call a disabled paedophile?

A creepy crawler

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

A guy and a girl are walking through the woods when the girl says, boy, these woods sure are creepy!!

The guy replies.. tell me about it, I gotta walk out of here alone!

Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters

will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons

A woman is walking through the woods at night with a serial killer.

She says to her companion, "Man, this forest is really creepy at night. I wish we weren't out here."

He replies, "You think you have it bad? I have to walk home alone!"

I walked into a Victoria's Secret a man and came out a knight.

From this day forward I shall be known as Sir- please leave you're being creepy.

Father and young son walking deep into the woods at night carrying a lantern and a shovel

Son says "Dad it's creepy out here, I'm scared"

Father replies "You're scared? I'm the one who has to walk back alone!"

Haunted castle

A young American tourist went on a guided tour of a creepy old castle in England. "How did you enjoy it?" The guide asked when it was over.

"It was great," the tourist replied, "but I was afraid I was going to see a ghost in some of those dark passageways."

"No need to worry," said the guide "I've never seen a ghost in all the time I've been here."

"How long is that?" the tourist asked.

"Oh, about 300 years."

Double standards are not fair!

When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.

Ted Bundy was out one day having a lovely stroll with a lady friend.

They were walking through a gorgeous, secluded forest. After walking a while the sun was setting and it began to get dark.

The young lady turned to Ted and said, 'It's starting to look creepy here, I'm scared'.

Ted looked at her astonished and replied 'You're scared? How do you think I feel, I have to walk back out of here alone'.

I've been watching my new neighbor through the blinds now for over a week.

He's so creepy.

A father and his son were walking into a dark forest at night...

...and the son looks up to his dad and says, "Dad, this forest is creepy and I am scared."

The dad scoffs and replies, "Well, you think you're scared now? I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

A little boy and a clown are walking in the deep, dark, woods.

The little boy says, "Mister, I'm scared! These woods are really creepy." The clown replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back all by myself."

What do you call a creepy Computer Science teacher?

A PDF file

There are two types of people that I hate the most.

One, there are racists;

the other, there are creepy, disgusting blue-skinned elves who are the enemy to the humankind.

My gf said she was being spyed on by a creepy guy she dont know

I've started choosing better hiding spots.

If Bill Cosby is America's dad...

Does that make him Canada's creepy uncle?

If you play a Coldplay song backwards, you'll hear a lot of creepy, Satanic chanting in Latin

But if you play a Coldplay song the normal way, you'll hear something much worse. A Coldplay song.

My dog has a creepy obsession with trees

All he ever does is talk about their skin

One time, the parents went out to dinner.

The sitter called and asked if she could cover the creepy clown statue in the kid's room.
The dad said: "Get out of the house. Call the police. We don't have a clown statue!"
By the time police arrived the scene, they found they did have a clown statue and the dad had alzheimer's.

Why are forests so creepy?

Because the trees are all shady.

Why is Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven is a super creepy movie.

Want to know another creepy coincidence?

Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!

A dark turn

Two criminals are taking a walk deep in the woods one dark night.
Boy, it sure is creepy out here, says the first outlaw.
How do you think I feel? asks his companion. I have to walk back alone.  

What do you call a paedophile with no legs?

A creepy crawly!

I have such bad luck getting a girl to come over...

I watched the video from "The Ring" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it.

What is it about tall creepy louisiana swamp dwellers that makes them naturally glow?

Their bayou loomin' essence


Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching.

I worked in one of those creepy ice cream vans over Memorial Day weekend, and I must say, they really do work. I raked in the Benjamins.

Also got a couple Jacobs and Timothys as well.

How can you spot a Jewish Pedofile?

He's the guy in the creepy van rolling up to kids and asking "Hey kids, you want to buy some candy?"

Variants for running.

Variants for running:-

1. Hot girl in front of you.
2. Creepy guy behind you.

(If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)

How do creepy songwriters get paid?

Per verse

What do creepy men and spiders have in common?

They both have sticky hands after being on the web for awhile.

Why was the haunted mansion self conscious?

Because it got a lot of creepy stairs.


I told my girlfriend to stop pretending to be 13 because it's creepy and pointless

She'll be thirteen next month anyways

Dance like no one's watching!

Just be careful of the creepy guy in the corner with the video camera who hasn't moved all night who wants the make you famous on YouTube.

So apparently i was knighted at Victoria's Secret today. . . . .

Thus I shall henceforth be known as, Sir Will You Please Leave You're Being Creepy.

Xi's like the creepy stalker ex to every Chinese.

When you make comments on him, cross your fingers not to be found.

My creepy uncle constantly watches me, and he keeps telling me what I can and can't do.

His name is Sam.

What do you call spooky Italian music?

Creepy pasta.

what do you call a creepy therapist ?

the rapist

I left a present for my crush today, and she had me arrested!

When her cat does it, it's adorable, but apparently it's "creepy" when I leave a dead bird on her doorstep.

We all have the creepy friend

If your group doesn't seem to have one, its you

There is an abundance of scariest jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 48 funniest jokes and creepy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any gruesome witze you can hear about creepy.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes