Creep Jokes
48 creep jokes and hilarious creep puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about creep that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores the humor to be found in the inevitable and often confusing phenomenon of scope creep. Discover how to use jokes about slips and girls who shyly approach in unexpected ways to bring some levity to difficult situations.
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Funniest Creep Short Jokes
Short creep jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The creep humour may include short crept jokes also.
- So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right? But when I cuddle another guy I'm a creep and need to leave the morgue immediately
- My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24 What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.
- A guy in a public place, phone out, camera on... He approaches a young woman. "What are you doing, creep?" she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."
- You don't actually wash your hands... They wash each other while you just stand there staring like a creep.
- I'm really worried about the Facebook hack. The thought of random strangers having access to my personal details creeps me out.
- So I used to date this graphic designer... We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?
- I have this crush on a girl at work, so I got her address She seemed a little creeped out when she saw it was a wedding dress though.
- I saw a snail creeping slowly across the ground. I thought if I remove his shell, he could move faster. But it only made him more sluggish.
- Everything get's funnier when you're sleep deprived. The laughing creeps out the kidnappers though.
- I hate the people who shout "THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore? You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.
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Creep One Liners
Which creep one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with creep? I can suggest the ones about crawling and crawled.
- Why do lawyers wear neckties? to keep their foreskins from creeping up.
- Obituaries are starting to creep me out People keep dying in alphabetical order
- Why did the thesaurus have a creeping feeling? He had an antonym.
- If the shoe fits, wear it... Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep.
- What is a creep's favorite musical key? The cute toy one that "opens" your kid's diary.
- Xenophobes creep me out I've never met one, I just know I don't like them!
- What's an Indian creep's favourite sitcom? Bobs Burgers.
- Why was the sun wearing sunglasses? So he could creep hard on uranus
- What does Massive Attack call Parkinson's Disease? Interia Creeps Moovin' Up Slowly
- Your mom's so dirty she has to creep up on her bath water.
- I hate hanging out with Radiohead normies It "Creep"s me out!
- How can you tell Santa is a creep? He can only come when the children are sleeping.
- Saw a beautiful g**... bus and I smiled, it didn't creep her out Wearing mask does help.
- I just made this one up: What kind of Internet creep can swim the fastest? A TOR p**....
Cheeky Creep Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about creep you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make creep pranks.
Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?
because he was following people before instagram
911?
Husband: "Hello, Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."
911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are well known to worship cows."
What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?
V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.
a beautiful woman is on the ledge of a bridge about to commit s**...
a homeless man walks by her and says
"what are you doing?"
she says "im going to jump!"
the homeless man says
"if youre going to kill yourself, do you wanna have s**... with me first?"
the woman replies "no way creep! never that!"
the homeless man doesn't seem bothered and says
"thats fine, I'll just wait til you're at the bottom"
This year my wife was struggling for ideas on what to get me for my birthday.
I said that for my birthday, I would like a t**.... I've never had one before, and I would feel like less of a creep if she organized it.
She was surprisingly on-board. She said that she had a friend from college who would probably be up for it.
But I think I ruined the night when I asked her who she had in mind for the third person.
I like creepypasta.
My favorite flavor is Fettuccine Afraido.
What's a creepers favorite kind of shoes?
White vans
One of the many situations women tend to handle the wrong way...
Ladies, if a man brings you breakfast whilst you are still in bed, he wants to hear: "Oooh, that is so cute, thank you! I love you!" and not "HOW THE FRAK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE YOU FRAKKING CREEP?!?!?!".
Just FYI.
Why did the creeper cross the road?
To get to the other ssssssssssssssside
Want to know another creepy coincidence?
Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!
How to creep out a mortician
How to creep out a mortician.
1. Go in to pre-plan your f**....
2. Tell him, "I want my remains scattered over the sunflower fields of Fayetteville."
3. He says, "We can do that. The cost for cremation is..."
4. Say, "Cremation? Who said anything about cremation?"
5. Mortician creep-out ensues.
What do creepy men and spiders have in common?
They both have sticky hands after being on the web for awhile.
How do creepy songwriters get paid?
Per verse
No one wants to be a s**... creep...
That's why before s**... I always ask to check the birthday on her learner's permit.
Creepin 'round town
Like priests in a playground
Xi's like the creepy stalker ex to every Chinese.
When you make comments on him, cross your fingers not to be found.
A s**... offender, creep and a billionaire walk into a Manhattan bar
The bartender says
Wow Mr Epstein what'll it be.
My creepy uncle constantly watches me, and he keeps telling me what I can and can't do.
His name is Sam.
There once was a man with a wooden leg named Steve
Why Steve carried a wooden leg with him everywhere he went will remain a mystery, creep.
We all have the creepy friend
If your group doesn't seem to have one, its you
Nudist resort in Texas
Some creep slowly chipped a hole into the wall using an old spoon for some reason.
The rangers are looking into it
You know, it must be nice to be a creep with a b**... f**......
Restraining orders just turn you on even more.
If you ever see a creepy clown...
Go for the juggler
What's the creepiest body of water?
Lake Eerie.
Note: This joke has probably been made before.
