Creep Jokes

Following is our collection of shyly puns and whisper one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Creep jokes for adults, dirty shrug jokes and clean babe dad gags for kids.

The Best Creep Puns

So explain this logic for me. So a girl can cuddle another girl and still be straight right?

But when I cuddle another guy I'm a creep and need to leave the morgue immediately

My girlfriend's parents called me a disgusting creep just because I am 36 and she is 24

What a horrible thing to say on our son's 10th birthday party.

A guy in a public place, phone out, camera on...

He approaches a young woman. "What are you doing, creep?" she says. He glances up, smiles, and says "Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

911?

Husband: "Hello, Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."

911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are well known to worship cows."


What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

You don't actually wash your hands...

They wash each other while you just stand there staring like a creep.

So I used to date this graphic designer...

We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?

Saw a beautiful girl on bus and I smiled, it didn't creep her out

Wearing mask does help.

What's a creepers favorite kind of shoes?

White vans

One of the many situations women tend to handle the wrong way...

Ladies, if a man brings you breakfast whilst you are still in bed, he wants to hear: "Oooh, that is so cute, thank you! I love you!" and not "HOW THE FRAK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE YOU FRAKKING CREEP?!?!?!".



Just FYI.


Want to know another creepy coincidence?

Jack the Ripper, Vlad the Impaler, and Winnie the Pooh all share the same middle name. Stay safe, my friends!

If the shoe fits, wear it...

Unless you found it near a bouncy castle, you creep.

What do creepy men and spiders have in common?

They both have sticky hands after being on the web for awhile.

How do creepy songwriters get paid?

Per verse

Why did the creeper cross the road?

To get to the other ssssssssssssssside

No one wants to be a sleazy creep...

That's why before sex I always ask to check the birthday on her learner's permit.

Creepin 'round town

Like priests in a playground

I hate the people who shout "THIS IS THE POLICE, OPEN THE DOOR YOU CREEP". Who plays those kind of jokes anymore?

You're scaring my wife. She's only 12, jeez.


Xi's like the creepy stalker ex to every Chinese.

When you make comments on him, cross your fingers not to be found.

A sex offender, creep and a billionaire walk into a Manhattan bar

The bartender says
Wow Mr Epstein what'll it be.

My creepy uncle constantly watches me, and he keeps telling me what I can and can't do.

His name is Sam.

How to creep out a mortician

How to creep out a mortician.

1. Go in to pre-plan your funeral.

2. Tell him, "I want my remains scattered over the sunflower fields of Fayetteville."

3. He says, "We can do that. The cost for cremation is..."

4. Say, "Cremation? Who said anything about cremation?"

5. Mortician creep-out ensues.

There once was a man with a wooden leg named Steve

Why Steve carried a wooden leg with him everywhere he went will remain a mystery, creep.

We all have the creepy friend

If your group doesn't seem to have one, its you

You know, it must be nice to be a creep with a BDSM fetish...

Restraining orders just turn you on even more.

If you ever see a creepy clown...

Go for the juggler

What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie.

Note: This joke has probably been made before.

I just made this one up: What kind of Internet creep can swim the fastest?

A TOR pedo.

What's the difference between a submarine weapon schematic and a creep using a VPN browser to see illegal content?

One's a torpedo file, the other's a Tor pedophile.

My moms' creepy uncle's ashes were spread across the beach because that's what he wanted...

So all the hot girls would lay on him...

What does a creepy pokemon do while you're in the shower?

Pikachu

I get up hills easily on all fours, I go down hills on both legs easily. What am I?

Some creep who goes up hills on all fours.

So girls can kiss their girlfriends in public and its okay

But I do that then suddenly I am a creep and they call the cops on me?

You should stop smoking pot, John

I wonder how many paranoid potheads named John this will creep out

Xenophobes creep me out

I've never met one, I just know I don't like them!

Double standards

If my wife walks into the women's locker room, it's considered okay and normal. If I walk into the women's locker room, I get yelled at and called a "creep" and a "perv".

Nudist resort in Texas

Some creep slowly chipped a hole into the wall using an old spoon for some reason.

The rangers are looking into it

Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

Why was the sun wearing sunglasses?

So he could creep hard on uranus

There is an abundance of sneak jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 40 funniest jokes and creep puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any lurk witze you can hear about creep.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes