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Creature Jokes

120 creature jokes and hilarious creature puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about creature that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover hilarious jokes about sea creatures, mythical creatures, woodland creatures, and more! Learn more about why conservation of creatures both real and imaginary is important. Read jokes about the wight, monsters, and other fantasy creatures.

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Popular Creature Short Jokes

Short creature jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The creature humour may include short monster jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between donald trump and a worm? One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.
  2. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse... I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.
  3. A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
    The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
  4. Women say all men are dogs but fail to realize that dogs are the most loyal creatures in the world if you treat them right.
  5. We use a very accurate term to describe our government. Politics, poly meaning many, and ticks meaning bloodsucking creatures.
  6. What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, three legs at noon and two in the evening? A cat in a minefield.
  7. BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.
  8. What do you call a friendly immobile sea creature that offers you food and lodging? An amenable anemone with amenities.
  9. Women are the only creatures to defy the laws of gravity. The heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.
  10. What do you call the mythical creature that is half horse, half virologist? The Centaur for disease control.

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Creature One Liners

Which creature one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with creature? I can suggest the ones about creator and moth.

  1. The sexiest mythological creature is Medusa Whenever I see her I get rock hard
  2. Which mythical creature casts no reflection? All of them, technically.
  3. My favorite mythical creature is a satisfied woman
  4. What do you all a fancy sea creature? Sofishticated.
  5. Around 90% of sea creatures have yet to be discovered. Alright then, keep your sea crits.
  6. What mythical creature always gets lost? A where-wolf
  7. What did one mythical sea creature say to the other? What's kraken?
  8. What mythical creature keeps time for trains at the station? A metro-gnome
  9. If you don't know a lot of creatures in Greek Mythology... I'll give you a mini-tour
  10. Which mythical creature has the hardest time reproducing? A Unic- horn.
  11. What do you call a sea creature that doesn't waste time? A-fish-in-sea
  12. What sea creature likes knock knock jokes? A Knocktopus
  13. Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles? Just squidding!
  14. What do they call a creature that combines the DNA of an elephant and rhino? ELEPHINO!
  15. what's sea creature makes sure its partner knows they're loved? a cuddle-fish

Sea Creature Jokes

Here is a list of funny sea creature jokes and even better sea creature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What sea creature likes to scare you? A shocktopus.
  • Who's the tidiest of all the sea creatures? Personally I think it's the killer whales. They're the best at orca-nizing
  • Why won't any sea creatures date oysters? Rumour has it they're shellfish lovers.
  • What do you call a quiet mythical sea creature? A murmurmaid
  • Why do sea creatures read the news? To keep up with current events!
  • What's the most dishonest creature in the sea? The Lionfish.
  • What's the only sea creature who's as good in bed as I am? The smashdapuss.
  • When God created the animals, He realized the sea creatures needed more work. They were just beta fish
  • I lost all my exotic sea creatures And I can't buy them back because I don't have anemone.
  • What do you call it when people exchange sea creatures? Squid pro quo.

Mythical Creature Jokes

Here is a list of funny mythical creature jokes and even better mythical creature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A good lawyer, the Tooth-fairy, Santa Claus, and a homeless man are walking down the street, They see a 100$ bill, who gets it?
    The homeless man obviously, the rest are mythical creatures
  • A quiz just asked me what mythical creature I relate to.. So I chose unicorn because I'm bright, colourful, and nobody believes in me.
  • Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer, and a hobo are walking down the street when they simutaneously see a $100 bill. Who gets it? The hobo. The rest are mythical creatures.
  • The paraplegic mythical creature wasn't walking... He was draggin!
  • Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, an honest lawyer, and a drunk man are walking down a road. They see a coin on the floor. Who picks it up? The drunk man. The other three are mythical creatures.
  • My favorite mythical creature? The honest politician.
  • Did you hear about the driver who collided with a mythical creature at a traffic intersection? He turned into a werewolf.
  • Amateur reporting in a nutshell Look, a mythical creature! Quick, grab the worst camera we've got!
  • What is a mythical creature's favorite vegetable? Unicorn
Creature joke, What is a mythical creature's favorite vegetable?

Mythological Creature Jokes

Here is a list of funny mythological creature jokes and even better mythological creature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If I had to pick a mythological creature to become alive and real, I'd have to pick: My girlfriend.
  • Favorite Mythological Creature Someone on tumblr who isn't oppressed
  • What do you call an academic institute concerning vegetables that only offers their services to mythological creatures? A Unicorn
  • Is it wrong to steal Scottish mythological creature's vegetables? Not Nessy's Celery.
    (Cr
  • Did you hear about the woke mythological creature who brought up gun violence stats when they tried to kill him with a silver bullet? He was aware-wolf

Woodland Creature Jokes

Here is a list of funny woodland creature jokes and even better woodland creature puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a woodland creature that takes your car without your permission? Common deer
  • Did you hear about the sly woodlands creature that was killed for his fur? He went from a cunning stoat to a stunning coat
Creature joke, Did you hear about the sly woodlands creature that was killed for his fur?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about creature can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of creature puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Entertaining Creature Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about creature you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean frog jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make creature prank.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.
As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.
Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, "You're obviously not listening".

A man walks into a bar......

An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. He orders three whiskeys. The bartender pours him one and says, "Lemme know when you want the next one." But the man says, "I think you've misunderstood me. I'd like all three at once." The bartender pours two more drinks. The man drinks down the three drinks, pays, and leaves.
This goes on almost every night for a couple of weeks. Finally the bartender asks the man why he orders three drinks at a time, since there's no real advantage to it. So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. That's why I order three at once." It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied.
The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. He and the bartender get to know each other pretty well. Then one day, the man orders only two drinks. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Finally, the man comes into the bar and only orders two drinks, again. The bartender figures he has to ask, and summons up the courage to say, "I noticed you've been ordering only two drinks for the last few weeks. Is everything allright with your brothers?" The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. He smiles and says, "Yes! My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent."

How do you catch a unique creature?

Unique up on it.

An old ugly wife is looking in the mirror...

Listing all the things wrong with her old flabby hairy body while her husband lays on the bed watching an ocean documentary on TV.
"I'm disgusting, aren't I?"
He doesn't respond.
"Hey! Answer me! I look like a whale, don't I!?"
He responds, "No! Absolutely not, you don't look anything like a whale, my dear..."
Before she could get out an "aww thanks", he says "Have you *seen* how stunningly beautiful those creatures are!?!"

What is the name of an annoying creature that is notorious for biting humans in the tropics?

Luiz Suarez.

Elephant in the vegetable patch

An elephant escapes from a zoo and ends up in a little old ladies vegetable garden and starts munching. Having never seen an elephant in her life, she freaks out and calls the police.
"There's a giant creature in my yard and it's pulling out my vegatables with it's tail!"
"What's it doing with them?"
"If I told you, you'd never believe me!"

Old Clinton joke

President Clinton is visiting his home state of Arkansas and picks up two razorback pigs from a local breeder.
As he's walking onto Air Force one with a pig under each arm he asks to the marine saluting him, "you ever see such beautiful creatures in your whole life?" ... "No sir, I have not. If I may ask, sir, why did you get the pigs?" Clinton responds, "well I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea." ... "Excellent trade sir!!"

At the Creation of Women

God: Adam, it would cost you but would you like me to make you a woman?
Adam: Yes. But what is a woman My Lord?
God: A woman is a wonderful creature that would obey ALL your commands and fufil ALL your desires
Adam: What would it cost me?
God: Only an arm and a leg
Adam: Uh, what can I get for a rib?

A man's dog dies

A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."

Three blind elephants examine a human being

Three blind elephants came upon a human being for the first time. They gathered close and felt the strange creature with their snouts.
The first blind elephant said, "A human being is thin and stands on its hind legs."
The second said, "A human being is flat and mushy."
The third said, "Yeah, my bad."

I told my wife we are all reincarnated, but MUST come back as a different creature. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.....

.... then I said: "You obviously haven't been listening".

Which hurts worse: a kick in the nuts, or having a baby?

This has been a debate over the ages: which hurts worse, getting a swift kick to the nuts or birthing a child. It's kind of hard to say since men and women are quite different creatures, but I have noticed something. If a woman goes through childbirth, sometimes a year or so later, she'll ask to have another baby. However, a man who has taken a kick to the jewels...

What's the difference between a monkey flinging p**... at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?

Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.

Apart from humans, the only creature that has s**... for pleasure is the dolphin...

Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?

Linkin Park fought among themselves in choosing which ocean to take a cruise on.

The Pacific ocean was favored by Chester. The Atlantic was desired by Mike. The Arctic was appealing to Rob and Brad because it is an ocean they've never been to before. The Antarctic was chosen by Dave and Joe because they've heard tales of great sea creatures to see in that area. With great argument, they decided against them all.
Indian, it didn't even matter.

An honest politician, a hard-working civil servant and Santa Claus find a 100 dollar bill.

Who gets to keep it? 
Santa does, the other two are creatures of myth and legend.

A thought about Del Toro's The Shape of Water

The Shape of Water is a story about a woman who falls in love with an otherworldly creature that learns how to communicate, has a funny scene where he interacts with a domestic setting and has magical healing hands. He is also returned to his natural environment, almost dying on the way by a plucky protagonist dodging authority.
However, the protagonist also has a love scene with him.
You could say that this is *BestialE.T.*

Everyone calling Mitch McConnell a turtle really needs to stop...

Turtles are intelligent creatures

Adam was lonely

He said "God, all the creatures have their mates but I am alone".
God thought for a minute and said "I will make you a perfect companion. She will be lovely, kind, attentive and will fulfill your every desire. I'll need from you two fingers, a kidney and one of your t**...".
Adam thought for a minute and said "What can I get for a rib?"

I was at a party in middle earth last night. TreeBeard got wasted and started dunking hobbits into a giant punch-bowl of booze. The dwarves laughed and begged for a turn. Soon, a queue of creatures had formed on his branches, eager to take the plunge. I didn't get in line. I knew it was a trick…

Because the real punch-line is always in the calm ents

What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?

A crabomination

Human fetuses are essentially the same as the creature from Alien. Only they take longer to gestate, and if they don't kill you on impact, they'll do it slowly over the course of years...

My mom says such silly things when she drinks hehe

In the beginning of time

Adam was taking a n**... stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"

What are prehistoric creatures called when they sleep?

**Dinosnores**

Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.
"Curiosity killed the cat"

What do you call a creature with 6 legs, 3 eyes, 2 noses and no ears?

Anything you want, it can't hear you

TIL: humans and bonobos are the only creatures that look into their partner's eyes during i**....

I never do though.. Except for that one time when I was going at it, and suddenly she entered the room.

​I was explaining to my wife last night

​I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.  She said I would like to come back as a cow. I said you're obviously not listening.

California Condor

A man was in court the other day accused of shooting and killing a California Condor. The judge asked the man, "Why on Earth would you kill one of the magnificent creatures?" The man replied, "Your honor, I have been out of work for quite a while and me and my family were hungry with nothing to eat and I looked up and saw this big bird over head so I shot it down and fed my family with it." The judge said, "That is a tough story. I am sorry for your situation and I will certainly take it into consideration when I sentence you, but by the way, I am a little curious as to what it tastes like." The man replied, "It's really not bad. Kind of a mix between a spotted owl and a baby seal."

What sea creature would h**... be?

Adolf-in.

One large woodland creature that can't feel pain, four large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, three large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, seven large woodland creatures that can't feel pain.

I know there is a joke here somewhere, but it seems like just a bunch of random numb bears to me.

GOD: "Hey, let's make Vampires REAL. . .!"

God: "They shall drink BLOOD!"
God: "They shall be responsible for the DEATHS of more humans in history than any other creature!"
God: ". . . And they can FLY!"
God: . . .But let's troll them so they can only make annoying high pitched whiny noises
God: . . .And are only 1/2" tall. At most.

\*Creates Mosquito\*

A Gnome.

A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy.
I just love mischief!
And what, may I ask, creature are you?"
The cat thinks for a moment and says,
"I guess I'm a gnome."

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip

The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.
"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".
"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?

God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.
Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?

A creature is born of a lion mother and an eagle father. How does he get into Hogwart's?

The Gryffindor

One day Adam said to God...

... "God, you let me live in paradise with all your creatures, but I'm lonely that there isn't one like me".
God replies "In that case I will make you a Woman. She will be the most beautiful thing you have ever seen and will take care of all your needs. All I need from you is an arm and a leg"
Adam thinks for a moment and asks "what can I get for a rib?"

A young blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes...

but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices.
She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp.
Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in.
She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up.
Oh, no! the blonde shouted in dismay.
This one isn't wearing any shoes either!

In India, they regard Bovine creatures as sacred animals.

Holy Cow!

I went into a labyrinth once...

On the way in, this guy told me there was this half-man, half-bull creature in there who would show me around.
I said "Will it take long to get round?"
He said "It's a minor tour".

My ex and her parrot.

My ex had a talking parrot. This large kind with curved beak and multicolored feathers.
That disgusting creature talked all day and night never shutting its mouth!
And the parrot had to listen to all that c**....

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it had crippling depression, it was constantly reminded that it's life was worthless to those it was looked down on by. A mere piece of meat, not a living creature, worthy of respect, and dignity. It didn't want to live in a constant state of fear and depression, knowing that it's only purpose in life would be death. So it escaped the farm, and took off to the highway... it saw the lights, and though the creature feared death, it was relieved to be free from the fear that plagued it.
So in short... to get to the other side.

3 year-old daughter following in my footsteps: "What shoes do poos wear?"

"PLIP PLOPS."
What a disgusting creature I've raised *beams with pride*

Oh the irony?

On 2/02/22, both Groundhog Day and the US State of the Union address will occur on the same day.
One involves the meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication .
The other involves a groundhog

Patrons at the zoo were astonished to see an old man jump over the bars of the lion's cage

Seemingly oblivious to the danger, he walked among the fierce creatures holding the latest bestselling book in his hands, intently perusing its contents. The spectators were beside themselves.
"What in the world is he doing?" shouted one.
"Is he crazy? He's going to get killed!" yelled another.
"Don't worry about him," replied the man's son. "That's just my dad. He likes to read between the lions."

First attempt at writing a joke!

I started a new job this week.
On my first day it was my co-worker Frank's birthday; we gathered around his desk to sing happy birthday and share a cake.
Just as we finished singing the office door slammed open.
In strides a creature: upper body of a man, lower body of a horse. He screams LOOK AT ME EVERYBODY and proceeds to grab Frank's cake and gallop out of the office with it.
I was dumbfounded but my new colleagues just rolled their eyes: "oh thats just Bill" they said "always the Centaur of attention."

A family go to the zoo

They're excited to see all the exotic animals, birds & reptiles. The first enclosure is empty, totally deserted. Unperturbed they carry on to the next one.. again it's empty!
Every single enclosure, cage, run and avery they encounter is empty, deserted and unkempt..
Except, right beside the exit is the last one; a single small solitary cage.
And in it sat a small furry creature.. a dog!
The father looked at it and it occurred to him,
"This is a shih tzu!"

Creature joke, What do they call a creature that combines the DNA of an elephant and rhino?

jokes about creature

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these creature jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.