The Best 64 Creature Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Creature jokes. There are some creature beastie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these creature mystical puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Creature Jokes and Puns

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a worm?

One of them is a slimy, loathsome creature incapable of complex thought, the other one actually shows up when it rains.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake.

My uncle Larry got bit by a snake. Not knowing if it was poisonous, he quickly grabbed the creature by the head, bit it in half and drove me, himself and the snake's body to the hospital.

As soon as we got there, the doctor informed us that for future reference proper term was *venomous* and this particular snake was not.

Which would have been a relief, except by that point uncle Larry had died of a poisonous snake bite.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, "You're obviously not listening".

Creature joke, I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as

What's the difference between a Black man and a park bench?

A Black man is a sentient creature.

How do you catch a unique creature?

Unique up on it.


What is the name of an annoying creature that is notorious for biting humans in the tropics?

Luiz Suarez.

Elephant in the vegetable patch

An elephant escapes from a zoo and ends up in a little old ladies vegetable garden and starts munching. Having never seen an elephant in her life, she freaks out and calls the police.

"There's a giant creature in my yard and it's pulling out my vegatables with it's tail!"

"What's it doing with them?"

"If I told you, you'd never believe me!"

Creature joke, Elephant in the vegetable patch

Did you hear about the sly woodlands creature that was killed for his fur?

He went from a cunning stoat to a stunning coat

At the Creation of Women

God: Adam, it would cost you but would you like me to make you a woman?

Adam: Yes. But what is a woman My Lord?

God: A woman is a wonderful creature that would obey ALL your commands and fufil ALL your desires

Adam: What would it cost me?

God: Only an arm and a leg

Adam: Uh, what can I get for a rib?

Which mythical creature casts no reflection?

All of them, technically.

You hear some creature making noises in the distance. "Quick! Quick! Quick, quick, quick!" you hear it exclaim. What kind of beast is it you hear?

A duck.

...

with hiccups.

You can explore creature monster reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean creature animal dad jokes. There are also creature puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Three blind elephants examine a human being

Three blind elephants came upon a human being for the first time. They gathered close and felt the strange creature with their snouts.

The first blind elephant said, "A human being is thin and stands on its hind legs."

The second said, "A human being is flat and mushy."

The third said, "Yeah, my bad."

What's the most dishonest creature in the sea?

The Lionfish.

Favorite Mythological Creature

Someone on tumblr who isn't oppressed

I told my wife we are all reincarnated, but MUST come back as a different creature. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.....

.... then I said: "You obviously haven't been listening".

I am the world's most powerful creature. I gulp down monsters whole for lunch.

For the record, I also drink Redbull.

Creature joke, I am the world's most powerful creature. I gulp down monsters whole for lunch.

A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder

The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"

The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"

BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet

Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat.

What is the creature that walks on four legs in the morning, three legs at noon and two in the evening?

A cat in a minefield.


What's the difference between a monkey flinging poo at the zoo and someone posting political memes on Facebook?

Answer: One is the sad, desparate attempt of a poor creature with little freedom to get attention from strangers, and the other is just something animals at the zoo do when they're bored.

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

I really should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.

The paraplegic mythical creature wasn't walking...

He was draggin!

Apart from humans, the only creature that has sex for pleasure is the dolphin...

Do you know how many animals I had to screw to find that out?

What do you call a sea creature that needs a chiropractor?

A locked neck monster!

Scientists have discovered a new creature.

The creature resembles a centaur from the legends and it seems to be always receiving a lot of attention from other animals and plants.

Tldr: it's a Centaur of attention.

People should be more afraid of black beans.

Haven't you ever heard of the creature from the black legume?

Which creature has the best sense of hearing on earth?

a boy while masturbating.

What do you call a woodland creature that takes your car without your permission?

Common deer

A thought about Del Toro's The Shape of Water

The Shape of Water is a story about a woman who falls in love with an otherworldly creature that learns how to communicate, has a funny scene where he interacts with a domestic setting and has magical healing hands. He is also returned to his natural environment, almost dying on the way by a plucky protagonist dodging authority.

However, the protagonist also has a love scene with him.

You could say that this is *BestialE.T.*

My favorite mythical creature

is a satisfied woman

What do you call a sea creature that doesn't waste time?

A-fish-in-sea

What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?

A crabomination

Human fetuses are essentially the same as the creature from Alien. Only they take longer to gestate, and if they don't kill you on impact, they'll do it slowly over the course of years...

My mom says such silly things when she drinks hehe

what do you call a dwarfish creature snapping along to a song in a subway?

a metrognome

In the beginning of time

Adam was taking a naked stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"

Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles?

Just squidding!

Been playing Minecraft with my niece.

There's a creature called a Mooshroom. It's a cow with a fungal infection. Just like my sister.

If I had to pick a mythological creature to become alive and real,

I'd have to pick: My girlfriend.

What do you call a friendly immobile sea creature that offers you food and lodging?

An amenable anemone with amenities.

Life was recently discovered on Mars.

NASA had recently sent more cameras to monitor the surface of Mars when they came across a creature that they had never seen before. Due to it's large ears and long tail they decided that this was some new form of feline species. However, upon closer inspection they found that this creature was not moving and in fact had large tire marks across it's back. Based on these findings NASA had but one unfortunate observation to make.

"Curiosity killed the cat"

What do you call a creature with 6 legs, 3 eyes, 2 noses and no ears?

Anything you want, it can't hear you

What do you call a quiet mythical sea creature?

A murmurmaid

What's the only sea creature who's as good in bed as I am?

The smashdapuss.

What sea creature would Hitler be?

Adolf-in.

A quiz just asked me what mythical creature I relate to..

So I chose unicorn because I'm bright, colourful, and nobody believes in me.

One large woodland creature that can't feel pain, four large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, three large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, seven large woodland creatures that can't feel pain.

I know there is a joke here somewhere, but it seems like just a bunch of random numb bears to me.

GOD: "Hey, let's make Vampires REAL. . .!"

God: "They shall drink BLOOD!"

God: "They shall be responsible for the DEATHS of more humans in history than any other creature!"

God: ". . . And they can FLY!"

God: . . .But let's troll them so they can only make annoying high pitched whiny noises

God: . . .And are only 1/2" tall. At most.



\*Creates Mosquito\*

What did one mythical sea creature say to the other?

What's kraken?

A Gnome.

A garden gnome is busy destroying some plants when suddenly a house cat appears.

"What are you?" asks the cat.

"I'm a gnome. I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, and I raise a ruckus at night to drive them crazy.

I just love mischief!

And what, may I ask, creature are you?"

The cat thinks for a moment and says,

"I guess I'm a gnome."

A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip

The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.

"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".

"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"

I was trekking through the Brazilian rain forest with LL Cool J...

... when from out of nowhere a small creature lept from the trees and hit me straight in the face knocking me unconscious.

I woke a few moments later and asked LL what had happened. He said, "A Marmoset knocked you out"

What do you all a fancy sea creature?

Sofishticated.

What sea creature likes knock knock jokes?

A Knocktopus

What sea creature likes to scare you?

A shocktopus.

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?

God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.

Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?

The sexiest mythological creature is Medusa

Whenever I see her I get rock hard

A creature is born of a lion mother and an eagle father. How does he get into Hogwart's?

The Gryffindor

Which mythical creature has the hardest time reproducing?

A Unic- horn.

What do you call the mythical creature that is half horse, half virologist?

The Centaur for disease control.

What mythical creature keeps time for trains at the station?

A metro-gnome

I went into a labyrinth once...

On the way in, this guy told me there was this half-man, half-bull creature in there who would show me around.

I said "Will it take long to get round?"

He said "It's a minor tour".

What mythical creature always gets lost?

A where-wolf

There are creatures in my house…

… who sit in the same spot all day long, expect food to come to them, and leave silky white stuff everywhere.

Such is life with male teenagers.

My ex and her parrot.

My ex had a talking parrot. This large kind with curved beak and multicolored feathers.

That disgusting creature talked all day and night never shutting its mouth!

And the parrot had to listen to all that crap.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the creature creation jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working creature magnificent piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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