Creation Jokes

Following is our collection of adam puns and cern one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Creation jokes for adults, dirty existence jokes and clean evolution dad gags for kids.

The Best Creation Puns

After God created Adam, Adam came to God and said, You created all the animals and each one has a mate, but I'm alone. Can you create me one also?

God replied, Well Adam, I can create a mate for you. It will be the crown of my creation, someone who will serve you, and your every need and desire. The most beautiful and loving creature. She will take care of you always , and give you all the respect that is deserving of you. The only thing is, it will cost you an arm and a leg.

Adam thought for a second and said, What do you got for a rib?

A guy was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.

After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Kingfisher Beer, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now a new creation, the old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

I am 24 seconds older than my twin brother...

... whenever I come out of the toilet I start a sentence with "When I was your age...." then proceed telling him the details of my majestic creation.

God said to Gabriel:

"I've finally finished my masterpiece. Beautiful mountains, spectacular lochs, and whisky - the most amazing drink in my creation. I shall call this land 'Scotland'"

"That sounds fantastic" Gabriel said. "What have the people of this land done to deserve all this?"

"Well" said God. "Wait til you see the neighbours they're getting"

(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

Simplifying Radicals.


Yes, she's a math teacher.


The Baptised beer

A drunkard was baptized and dipped in water 3 times.
After the third dip, the Priest said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone, no more drinking of alcohol for you. Your new name is Gomes."
Gomes went back home and headed straight for the fridge. He took a Beer bottle, dipped it in water 3 times and said: "You are now baptized, you are a new creation. The old one is gone. Your new name is Green Tea!"

At the Creation of Women

God: Adam, it would cost you but would you like me to make you a woman?

Adam: Yes. But what is a woman My Lord?

God: A woman is a wonderful creature that would obey ALL your commands and fufil ALL your desires

Adam: What would it cost me?

God: Only an arm and a leg

Adam: Uh, what can I get for a rib?

So, the God decides he needs a vacation...

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 years ago, mate, made one chick pregnant.
They still keep talking about this...

A Creationist and Atheist Debate

Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?

What vehicle uses Bethesda's creation engine?

A buggy

My son asked me why I only let him play Sim creation screen of the Sims but not the rest

I told him, 'It's character building.'


Creationist have often made me question evolution

But probably not in the way they think

"Am I ugly?"

Boy: Am I ugly?

Girl: God has no ugly creation.

Boy: So I'm not ugly then?

Girl: I'm just not sure if you're God's creation.

Paleontologists have determined that there once was a genetic mutation millions of years ago that resulted in the creation of a five-legged dinosaur.

As far as we know, this is the first evidence ever seen of a reptile dysfunction.

What is God's favorite TV show?

Arks and Creation

Why can't creationists ever get girls in rock bands?

They aren't very good at carbon dating.

Immediately following the creation of Eve, Adam says to God

"Why'd you have too use my rib?"

"Oh, its symbolic. Now you have a pain in your side!"

How many Creationists does it take to change a light bulb?

None - they've invented torches.

Creation of humans

Friend: How were humans created?

Me: It all started with the big bang, and some other bangs


What do creationists and neutron stars have in common?

Density

What did the creationist student say when asked why he didn't have his homework on natural selection?

My dogma ate it.

Why do creationists prefer FIFA to PES?

Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.

A creationist puts his glases on and says:

"Evolution can't be real, just look at the human eye!! It's too perfect to be just chance!"

What do a creationist and a dude with a dinosaur bone fetish have in common?

They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record.

If Mary gave birth to the lord of all creation, wouldn't that mean Mary is the lord of all creation?

Ariana Grande was right!

Why don't creationists change lightbulbd?

They prefer to remain in the dark when it comes to anything scientificly proven to work.

What duck related scandal led to the creation of Windows OS?

BillGate

What is God's favorite TV office comedy?

Arks and Creation

When trying to persuade the creation of Making a Murderer I bet the winning argument was...

they would make a killing from it

TIL: about the crowd's reaction when Benjamin Franklin announced his creation of the bifocal lens

Apparently, it was quite the spectacle.

Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered feruit drinks.

But it didn't get far since hitler hated the juice.

If the United Nations funded the creation of a Were-Wolf

Would it be a supra-national creature?

What did the inventors of the dry erase board say when they reflected on their creation?

That's remarkable!

At the moment of creation, God said he would place good people on all corners of the world.

Then he went and made the world round.

What did the egg say when it got too high? (My own creation as far as I know)

"OMELETTE.."

I marveled at my handiwork of my latest creation: a fence made entirely from fecal matter

It was a quality shitpost

The Creation Of Sodium

Sodium, atomic number 11, was first isolated by Humphry Davy in 1807. A chemical component of salt, he named it Na in honour of the saltiest region on earth, North America.

An atheist asks a believer: Prove your religion's theory about creation, believer replies: I'll lay it simple for u u peg..

Bang

Did you guys hear about the creation of the moon?

It was a world-shattering event for those who experienced it.

What did God tell the sloth upon its creation?

You're pretty slow so here, take these claws.

A group of scientist were working to develop time travel to stop the creation of Pearl Jam's first album.

But they found it to be an untenable task.

I've been working on my best ice cream creation ever but it got infected.

It's my Magnum O'pus.

I have a magician friend who makes eggs appear out of thin air

He calls the routine "Creation Eggs Nihilo"

How many Creationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

God.

There is an abundance of purpose jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes and creation puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any teaching creationism witze you can hear about creation.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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