Following is our collection of heard puns and teacher one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Creat jokes for adults, dirty grade jokes and clean piece dad gags for kids.
His friends described him as a warm and pulpy man who loved his wife and pelicans. He will be deeply pooped.
I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
^Edited ^for ^better ^understanding
His trial is expected to last forever
Hopefully, they learned from their McSteaks.
The trial was supposed to last 40 days, but it keeps on going
His wife is taking it really hard
Enter password
'Snowflake'
Re-enter password
'Snowflake'
Your passwords are not alike
..take it out, flip it over and lower again.
His funfair is next monkey
But it flopped,
Nobody came
"123Bob".
Password must contain no names, be complex and have over 50 characters.
"GameOfThrones"
Password accepted.
Plagiarism.
Must have won a no-bell prize
Manufacturers have quickly adopted to LG's new protocol, as they are afraid of not supporting the LGBT.
He was lowered into his coffin, flipped over, and then lowered again.
God: Adam, it would cost you but would you like me to make you a woman?
Adam: Yes. But what is a woman My Lord?
God: A woman is a wonderful creature that would obey ALL your commands and fufil ALL your desires
Adam: What would it cost me?
God: Only an arm and a leg
Adam: Uh, what can I get for a rib?
A cat in a minefield.
"fortnight"
Error: [Password two week]
It's their Word against mine.
We are still working out the kinks.
Restaurant in peace
Give a homeless guy an iPhone.
I call it, "Plaigiarism"
Now it's just something to a-void.
God, and her name was Eve.
I make my own announcemints now.
I'll call it the Necronomnomicon
Creationist: If man evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Atheist: If Adam came from dirt, why is there still dirt?
It will be named 2 Herpes in a Pod
I mean, he really made an Impact.
I was conceived in a bakery.
You can say I was born and bread there.
Or according to most Mom's a quick somewhat disappointing one
Now it has visual aids.
At least, I think I did...
Am I objectifying women?
There it is -> .
and name it "That's so Wong!"
But it was just a FADD.
But probably not in the way they think
I'll call it Leper-Con.
Half price admission for the wee folk.
The Gryffindor
It's called Redtit.
I'm calling it "Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts"
It's indescribubble.
The ¿que que que?
I shall call it, E-Bae
All these new ones are so derivative...
It's as easy as 123.
Confirm new password: Tomato
Passwords don't match.
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world...............then He made the earth round, and laughed and laughed and laughed.
They aren't very good at carbon dating.
It's called Tender! Swipe right to keep cooking or swipe left to leave raw
I thought he was already dead
... I think
a boy while masturbating.
Friend: How were humans created?
Me: It all started with the big bang, and some other bangs
Prophets went through the roof
Note: repost, thanks to the kind user who corrected me
But now I'm not sure what to do with all the disembodied livers
Now, I hope God will save ME.
I'll call it the Large Hard-on Collider
None - they've invented torches.
Density
My dogma ate it.
crossand.me
Prophets are going through the roof
Dye a blonde's hair.
They both get a hard on when they find a gap in the fossil record.
May he restraunt in peice
Prose before Hose
Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.
Pulp Friction
"Evolution can't be real, just look at the human eye!! It's too perfect to be just chance!"
Naturally, I coded in BASIC
It didn't make any dollars or scents.
The Donner Party
Thanks for the memory
Anyone can participate and IT HAS TO MAKE SENSE! Good luck! :)
...just so we could have IDEs for it.
I think it was Henry the 1/8.
They prefer to remain in the dark when it comes to anything scientificly proven to work.
The galaxy wide spider!
no coffin there
I guess he's the ghost now.
I want to create an app called ShamWow, it tells you if certain online products are a Sham or a Wow that's a deal.
He was walking one day thinking of a name for his new restaurant, until he got stung by a bee and shouted "Argh-bees!"
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Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.