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Crawls Jokes

45 crawls jokes and hilarious crawls puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crawls that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Crawls Short Jokes

Short crawls jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crawls humour may include short crawled jokes also.

  1. Last week, My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her Wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back.
  2. So I broke up with my handicapped girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.. But guess who came crawling back!!?!
  3. The last time my wife and I had a fight it ended up with her literally crawling to me on her hands and knees. She said "Get out from under that bed and fight like a man!"
  4. My girlfriend broke up with me cause I stole her wheelchair But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.
  5. My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back.
  6. My girlfriend broke up with me for stealing her wheelchair But I'm not bothered, I know she'll come crawling back any day now
  7. I just killed a massive spider crawling across the floor with my shoe. I don't really care how big the spider is, no one steals my shoe.
  8. Two drunks are crawling on the railroad. One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
    "No worries, I see an elevator coming."
  9. When I was a kid I was terrified of earwigs because I thought they were bugs that crawled into your ears. So you can imagine my reaction when I heard about cockroaches.
  10. I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe... I don't care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe...

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Crawls One Liners

Which crawls one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crawls? I can suggest the ones about crawling baby and crept.

  1. My girlfriend broke up with me so I took her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back
  2. A spider just crawled into my keyboard. It's okay, I have it under Ctrl.
  3. I knew she'd come crawling to me.. I mean, I DID steal her wheelchair
  4. A spider crawled into my keyboard earlier. It's okay, I've got him under Ctrl.
  5. I knew you'd come crawling back the minute I stole your wheelchair
  6. So a spider just crawled onto my keyboard But don't worry I think it's under ctrl.
  7. A spider crawled on my computer Don't worry, it's under ctrl
  8. So a magician on a cruise night has a show every night... NOTSONINJA
  9. What was FDR's favorite room in the White House? The Crawl Space
  10. How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand down.
  11. My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
  12. That's the last time I do a pub crawl with an amputee. He really couldn't hold his drink.
  13. Mu girlfriend cheated on me, So I took her wheelchair. Guess who came back crawling
  14. I took my girlfriends wheelchair away... Guess who came crawling back?
  15. I stole my girlfriends wheelchair. I knew she would be crawling back for me.

Crawls joke, I stole my girlfriends wheelchair.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crawls can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crawls puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Hilarious Crawls Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about crawls you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean crabs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crawls prank.

A software tester walks into a bar

Backs into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
987654321 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A regular customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar bursts into flames.

A software tester walks into a bar.

Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.

A software tester walks into a bar.

Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
a beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
a lizard in a beer glass.
\-1 beer.
"qwertyuiop" beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

A beta tester walks into a bar

A beta tester runs into a bar
A beta tester crawls into a bar
A beta tester moonwalks into a bar
A beta tester jumps into a bar
A beta tester sneaks into a bar
A beta tester orders 1 beer
A beta tester orders 2 beers
A beta tester orders 0 beers
A beta tester orders 999999999 beers
A beta tester orders -1 beers
A beta tester orders qwertyuip beers
A beta tester orders a lizard in a cup
A regular user walks into the bar and asks if he can use their toilet
The bar erupts into flames and burns to the ground.

A zoo's only gorilla dies...

so the zookeeper hires an actor to wear a gorilla costume until the zoo can get another one.
In the gorilla pen the actor makes faces, beats his chest, swings around, and soon draws a huge crowd. Encouraged, he then crawls atop a beam across the lion's enclosure, taunting the animal below. But, in horror, he lost his grip, falling into the lion's cage.
Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers urgently, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!

A joke my mom told me when i was younger

An irish man decides to go for a drink after work. He goes to a local pub and has way too many and when the end of the night comes hes completely plastered. He goes to stand up and immediately falls right on his face. He crawls all the way home and crawls into bed and falls asleep. In the morning his wife yells wake up! Were you drinking at the pub again? The man says no! She says your lying, i know you were there! He says how do you know that? She says you left your wheelchair there again!

A husband and wife celebrate their 30th anniversary

That night, the wife comes out of the bathroom n**... and starts playing with her n**....
"What did you think the first time you saw these 30 years ago?"
"I wanna to s**... them dry," he says.
She crawls onto the bed, "What did you think when you saw all this 30 years ago?"
"I wanted to screw your brains out, baby," he says with a smile.
She giggles, teasingly, "What are you thinking now?"
"I think I did a pretty good job at both."

A soldier is running from Military Police. He runs up to a nun, and asks, out of breath: "Please... may I hide under your tunic?"

..."I'll explain later."
The nun nods in agreement.
A moment later, two Military Police officers show up and ask:
"Sister, have you seen a soldier here?"
The nun shakes her head. MPs run off, and the soldier crawls out from under her tunic and says, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria. I want to return to my family..."
The nun nods and smiles.
The soldier, relieved, adds jokingly: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiles, and replies in a deep voice "Well lad, if you had looked a bit higher, you would've seen a great pair of b**...… guess we're both not going to Syria."

A pub's closing and a totally plastered customer struggles to get to the door

Then struggles to walk home, despite only living a few hundred yards from there. He literally crawls on the pavement all the way back home, drags himself up the stairs and eventually reaches his bed after two hours. He wakes up the next morning, and his wife tells him:
"You were really drunk last night weren't you?"
"Yeah, why? How do you know?"
"You left your wheelchair at the pub."

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.

It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.
He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
No, you can't have those! They're for the f**...!

A man gets up early Sunday morning

He goes downstairs, puts on his bike gear, takes his bike in the garage but when he opens the door he notices it is pouring. Bummed out, he puts his bike back, undresses, goes back upstairs and crawls back under the sheets, spoons his wife and whispers: "Awful weather outside" And his wife goes: "Ha ha ha and to think my husband is out there on his bike right now"

A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti…

It says, d**..., that was one h**... of an o**...!

A guy with worms up his b**... goes to see a doctor.

Guy: Doc, these worms be killing me, what can we do ??
Doc: Get a watermelon, sit on it, once the worm leader gets a taste, He'll call his buddies to join him out.
And sure enough our guy does as instructed, after hours of watermelon sitting, the worm leader crawls out for little taste.
The worm leader: Yo me hearties, on my three, and.. LIFT!

A soldier is running from the military police.

Just in time he sees a Nun and asks if he can hide under her dress explaining that he doesn't want to get sent to Afghanistan. She agrees and he is able to outwit the MP. When he crawls out he says you have a really nice pair of legs sister. The Nun says, yeah and if you had looked up, you'd have seen that I have a really nice pair or b**... too, I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.

A quadruple amputee is opening his present on christmas.

He crawls over to the tree and tears in to the wrapping with his teeth. The paper flies everywhere as the present is revealed.
"Not another hat..."

If you watch it backwards. . .

The Shawshank Redemption is about two mexican fishermen who are such great friends that when one of them is sent to prison in Maine, the other one crawls through five hundred yards of foulness you can't even imagine to be with him.

What is red, slimy and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with home sickness.

A man is on his deathbed and he smells chocolate chip cookies baking.

He thinks, "If I could have just one cookie, I could die a happy man." So he gets out of bed, crawls down the hall, and with his last ounce of strength, reaches up to take a fresh cookie. But his wife smacks his hand with a spatula.
He says, "Why did you do that?"
"They're for the f**...."

A man and a woman are sleeping together

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"

Man is drinking late at night at the bar and when he gets up he realises he can't even walk.

He assumes that he had enough and decides to go home. He succesfully crawls to his home and quietly sneaks into the bed without awaking his wife. He passes out thinking that his wife will never find out.
In the morning his wife tells him. ,,You were drunk again last night!
He responds ,,What, how did you find out?
,,Barman called me this morning that you left your wheelchair at the bar.

Can someone help me understand this joke....

Today while listening to Townes Van Zandt, he tells a joke on a live album: What's white and crawls up your leg? Uncle Ben's Perverted Rice. Am I too young to understand this? Is there a historical element to this missing?? Is it just obsurd? Thanks in advance and hope this is the right place to ask this question.

A man crawls into the doctor's office

There is a doctor's office in the middle of a field where cows are free to roam.
All of the sudden a man crawls into the office screaming, "DOCTOR YOU GOTTA HELP ME I JUST GOT HIT BY A CAR AND I THINK MY CALVES ARE BROKEN!"
the doctor says, "you silly man" as he points out the window. "Your calves are fine"

What's brown and sticky?

A stick
What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg?
A homesick p**....

What do you call a yellow snake with three legs that crawls up a tree in slow motion?

I just managed to come up with the premis

A guy drinks all night in a pub

When the pub closes, he tried to go home, but he can't stand on his feet, so he decides to crawl outside, maybe the fresh air will make him feel better.
But even outside he doesn't manage to get on his feet, so without a choice he crawls until he gets home, barely manages to reach the door handle, and crashes on the bed.
When he wakes up, his wife yells at him "where drinking all night again?!"
"How did you know?" He asks.
"Cause the guy from the pub called and said you forgot your wheelchair"

A thirsty man is crawling...

through the desert and comes up to a jewish tie salesman. He begs the salesman for water, but the salesman replys, "I don't have any water, but I have some nice ties for sale." The thirsty man again begs for water and the salesman says, " I only have ties, but over that sand dune 30 miles is a town with water." The thirsty man crawls the 30 miles to the town. Several hours later the man comes crawling back to the tie salesman and says, "I made it to the town with water, but they won't let me in without a tie."

A man finishes several hours of drinking at a bar...

He gets up to leave and collapses to the ground.
Thinks to himself "boy, I'm really trashed".
Crawls his way to the door, tries to stand up outside, boom, falls down again.
"Man, I really drank too much this time".
Drags himself down the street to his house, tries to stand up and falls yet again.
"I really need to stop drinking so much".
Crawls up the stairs and passes out in bed.
Next morning his wife asks him if he got drunk last night.
"Nah, I don't think so, why do you ask"?
"The bar called. You left your wheelchair there again".

So two Mexican cartel members are walking in the desert trying to get into the USA while avoiding the Marines.

While walking Juan tells Pablo that he smells a Bacon Tree.
A Bacon Tree? Asks Pablo....
Juan sees the tree and runs over to go get some bacon, but he is immediately shot by an unseen s**....
He crawls back to Pablo while he bleeds out, and when he gets there Pablo pulls him behind a rock for cover.
Juan with his last breath tells Pablo : Don't go there Amigo... Its not a Bacon Tree... Its a Ham bush...

A scientists caught a fly to perform an experiment.

So he says to his assistant to cut off fly's wings and 2 of its legs.
The scientist says to the fly:
- Crawl. - and the fly crawls, - Ok, write it down "After removing 2 legs the fly still crawls".
And the assistant writes it down.
- Remove 2 more. - says the first. - Now, fly, crawl.
And it does.
- Write it down " After removing 4 legs, the fly still crawls." Now remove last 2 legs.
And the assistant does.
- Crawl, fly. Crawl. - said the scientist.
It doesn't move. So the scientist says:
- Ok, write this down assistant : "After removing all 6 legs - the fly lost its hearing."

Crawls joke, A scientists caught a fly to perform an experiment.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crawls jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.