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Crawling Baby Jokes

18 crawling baby jokes and hilarious crawling baby puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crawling baby that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Crawling Baby Short Jokes

Short crawling baby jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crawling baby humour may include short crawling jokes also.

  1. Our young son has been crying a lot at night, so my wife asked me to go out and get a baby monitor for him… But he seems even more freaked out now with the big lizard crawling all over him…
  2. Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal) What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
    The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.
  3. How do you get a baby to crawl in a circle? Nail one of its hands to the floor
    ^i ^went ^too ^far
  4. What in this world is born with four legs, then two, then three? Humans. You crawl as a baby, walk as an adult, and walk with a cane as an elder.

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Crawling Baby One Liners

Which crawling baby one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crawling baby? I can suggest the ones about sleeping baby and crying baby.

  1. How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand down.
  2. How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail down the other hand.
  3. How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle? Put a nail in it's other hand.
  4. How do you keep a baby from crawling in circles? nail the other hand to the floor.
  5. How did the baby pin the wrestler down? It crawled onto his back and refused to move.

Crawling Baby Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about crawling baby you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crawled jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crawling baby pranks.

Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...

Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."

A husband and wife celebrate their 30th anniversary

That night, the wife comes out of the bathroom n**... and starts playing with her n**....
"What did you think the first time you saw these 30 years ago?"
"I wanna to s**... them dry," he says.
She crawls onto the bed, "What did you think when you saw all this 30 years ago?"
"I wanted to screw your brains out, baby," he says with a smile.
She giggles, teasingly, "What are you thinking now?"
"I think I did a pretty good job at both."

Dead Baby Jokes Thread!

I assume there's another one of these, but let's bring some freshness. I'll start us off.
Q: How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
A: Nail its other hand to the floor.

A woman is going through labour...

...but there is a b**... and her car isn't working. Her husband attempts to deliver the baby. Their young daughter is asked to hold a torch so that her father can see.
After a long and stressful procedure, the baby boy is born. The man spanks the newly born child and the baby starts crying. The mother asks the daughter about what she just saw.
"s**... him again, he shouldn't of crawled up there in the first place."