Craps Jokes

Following is our collection of poker puns and betting one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Craps jokes for adults, dirty blackjack jokes and clean aces dad gags for kids.

The Best Craps Puns

A beautiful blonde walks up to a craps table...

She bets ten thousand on one roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel luckier when I'm nude."

She strips down and rolls the dice. When she sees the dice she jumps for joy screaming "I won! I won!" She hugs the dealers, takes her winnings and leaves.

Finally, one of the dealers asks, "What did she roll?" The other says, "I thought you were watching!"

It goes to show: Not all blondes are dumb, but men will always be men.

The Bet

Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says: "I want to bet $20,000 on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were completely nude."

They agree to her unusual request and she strips naked from the neck down, and rolls the dice. Then she screams: "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away.

For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says: "What did she roll, anyway?"

The second dealer says: "I don't know. I thought *you* were watching."

Don't be sad...

Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can't fly.

I've just opened a casino for dogs where they can play roulette, poker blackjack etc...

They'll have to go outside for craps though.

If you're concerned about your new partner's sexual history, and you don't want to catch genital warts, imagine you're playing chess, not craps.

So don't roll the dice. Check first, and then mate.


I know this guy who constantly tells jokes about how often he craps his pants

Self-defecating humor

My friend is addicted to visiting Vegas and watching craps in a casino for hours.

Then one day, security dragged him out of the bathroom

What is it called when a politician craps his pants in a Honda?

Civic doody.

Kids asking for a dog.

I'll walk it. I'll feed it and if it craps in the yard, I'll flick it over the fence onto the neighbours lawn.

Why is Coolio always able to play craps?

He's got a gangsta's pair a dice.

I wanted win some money playing Craps at the casino

But no dice.


What did Coldplay say when they were asked to run a craps table?

"We need a pair of... pair of... pair of dice."

I'm a graphic designer for an online casino

I do a lot of arts & craps.

What is Scotty Pippen's favorite Vegas game?

Craps.

You'll never get rich playing craps.

It's just a fool's pair o' dice.

Where does every craps player want to go when they die?

Paradise.

What do you call it when a dog craps on your rug?

Carpet bombing.

There is an abundance of bingo jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 17 funniest jokes and craps puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any dice witze you can hear about craps.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes