Craft Jokes
62 craft jokes and hilarious craft puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about craft that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Need a good laugh? Look no further than this article featuring the best craft beer and brewery jokes. From the comedic waft of a wahhabi to the skill of rescuers, these funny jokes are sure to hit the spot.
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Funniest Craft Short Jokes
Short craft jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The craft humour may include short maker jokes also.
- I've started a business crafting small figurines of Jesus. I'm only making a little prophet.
- Dwayne Johnson paid me to clean up and organize his craft room, but sadly, I lost his scrapbook cutting tool. I lost the Rock's paper scissors.
- The blacksmith only sold items he crafted himself. Like his father taught him... He who smelt it, dealt it.
- I've started a business crafting small figurines of Muhammad. It's making little prophets.
- My son's arts and crafts class isn't graded. I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.
- I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.
- New England Patriots' Robert Craft is charged with soliciting prostitution. He just wanted to show the masseuse where he wears his 6th super bowl ring.
- Inexplicably, there are random craft supplies scattered all throughout my living room. I don't know what to make of it.
- Compared to planes, helicopters are extremely complex, and have to be crafted with inhuman precision... It's a wonder they ever took off...
- Two Eskimos Sitting In a Kayak ...were cold. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank. Proving once and for all that: you can't have your kayak and heat it.
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Craft One Liners
Which craft one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with craft? I can suggest the ones about construction and fabric.
- What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts? Glue.
- What does a confused student at Hogwarts study? Which craft?
- What do you call an artistic meal? Craft Dinner
- What alcohol do you drink in survival video games? Craft beers
- How come the Fresh Prince was able to craft a sword? He's a black Smith.
- Two Jewish brothers started up a craft beer distillery called He-Brews
- I make my own Japanese craft beer. It's called "Impossi-Brü."
- I own a store that sells crafts painted with blood It's called the Artery
- How are craft beer and World War II soldiers alike? Both are better from the draft.
- Where does the Iranian Air Force store all its flying craft? The carpet store
- What is Ironman's favorite real time strategy game? Stark Craft
- What did one craft beer say to the other after their boxing match? How's your mouthfeel?
- What do you call a voodoo live stream? Twitch-craft.
- Why was the craft beer snob sad? He had saisonal depression.
- My analogies are like the world's best crafted poems Terrible
Craft Beer Jokes
Here is a list of funny craft beer jokes and even better craft beer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm opening the first place you can create a painting and brew your own beer It's called "Arts & Crafts"
- Two crows are sitting at the bar having a craft beer. One crow drinks his down quickly and rudly takes his buddy's beer. The other crow snatches it back and exclaims, "My crow brew!"
- My craft beer brings all the boys to the yard, and they're like It's better then Coors
- What do you call a hoppy Canadian craft beer? An IP-Eh?
- What did the German say to the craft beer artisan? Eine bier, bitte.
- What do Roy Moore and craft beer have common? They both come in half-pints...
- Stanford University releases nearly 200 cases of s**... a**... A limited edition craft beer made on campus
- I like my craft beers like I like my a**...... Domestic
Craft Brewery Jokes
Here is a list of funny craft brewery jokes and even better craft brewery puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I went to the local craft brewery last night and it was so busy... The place was really hopping.
Cheeky Craft Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about craft you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean arts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make craft pranks.
A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...
The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"
What is h**...'s favorite video game?
Mein Craft.
What video game does h**... play?
Mein craft
m**... should be considered a craft...
as it is 100% hand made.
A baby was born with no eyes lids...
So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids.
They botched it though and he came out looking a bit c**...-eyed.
A boy is born without eyelids...
A boy who was born without eyelids is making national headlines as he has just undergone experimental surgery to use his f**... to craft new eyelids. The surgery was a success and the boy is recovering perfectly. However, he will be a little cockeyed.
Did you hear of the guy who could literally master any craft, provided he m**... before learning it?
He was j**... all trades.
There are two types of joke tellers in this world. Those who take the time to craft a witty punchline...
'Hotel Transylvania' missed an opportunity because monsters on a cruise are not on the Love Boat...
They're on a Love Craft.
Did you hear on the news about the guy going to all of the craft stores in the area?
He was dipping his t**... in in glitter.
It was pretty nuts.
Why did Harry Potter throw away all his old potions?
**They were past their hexpiration date!**
*I'm so sorry. My 8yo kid asked me to make up a joke and it's SO HARD to craft a joke that's kid-appropriate.*
Police have warned of a man in craft stores dipping his t**... in glitter.
It's pretty nuts.
Police have reported a man going into local craft stores and dipping his t**... in glitter
It's pretty nuts
U.S. navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:
Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "g**..., we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.
When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. The other 20 million are already there.
Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be good enough at skating, biking, surfing, or running to be chosen to represent a brand like Nike, Red Bull, or Under Armour. Recently the pandemic has allowed me to double down on recreation and hone my craft, and I finally got a sponsor.
Thanks Alcoholics Anonymous!
What is h**...'s video-game called?
Mein Craft.
A couple of outdoorsmen were on a lake in their kayak when they started getting cold. But when they lit a fire in their craft it immediately began to sink, proving once and for all that...
...you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
A homeless guy was caught at a craft store dipping his b**... into a bag of glitter
It was pretty nuts.
While fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft.
Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted:
Are there any gators around here?!
No, the man hollered back, they ain't been around for years!
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore. About halfway there he asked the guy:
How did you get rid of the gators?
We didn't do nothin', the beachcomber said. The sharks got 'em."
A cosmonaut c**... lands
A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft c**... lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a bush hospital clinic, very rustic, dirty, with foul smells and he is really bandaged from head to foot and sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot.
"Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear.
"No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yerster dye."
The beer sommelier
A guy walks into a bar and brags to the barman, that he can recognize any beer by its taste. The make a bet and the barman starts to put forwards glasses.
— Oh, that's easy. Budweiser.
— That's wheat Paulaner.
— Hmmm, that's trickier. That's an IPA by Minhas Craft
The barman gets angry, that he will lose the bet. He goes to the back room, p**...into a glass and gives it to the guy. He tastes, smacks his lips for a while and says:
— That's Heineken. But is had been drunk once already.
A German butcher and a Polish butcher started a competition...
...to see who could make the longest continuous chain of sausage links in one hour.
It was a tight competitions; both men take pride in their craft and in their sausage-slinging heritage. The two were neck-in-neck up until the 59th minute, wherein the Polish butcher had a slip of the hand and split his last sausage asunder. When the scraps finally settled, the Polish butcher had managed 120 links and the German managed 121.
Naturally, the German butcher won, because he went a frank further.
A tourist returning from an extended trip was about to cross the last river on the way to the railroad station for home
"Say, cap'n," he said, as he stepped timidly into the rickety old craft, "this boat seems very shaky; was anybody ever lost in her?"
"Not to my knowledge," replied the boatman. "There was three men drowned from her last Thursday, but we found them all the next day."
