Cracker Jokes

What are some Cracker jokes?

What do you call a monkey holding a fire cracker?

A Baboom!

Wanna know how I can prove Jesus was white?

The body of Christ is a cracker.

Her parents wanted her to date someone of her own ethnicity.

But Polly wanted a cracker.

Anyone who thinks Jesus wasn't a white man has never been to communion

The body of Christ is a cracker.

Jesus Christ wasn't white...

But according to Catholics he's still a cracker.

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, 'How do these represent Christmas?' Answer: 'They're Carol's.'

Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box)

Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

Christmas cracker joke

A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.

My redneck cousin wants to be with a girl who is into multiple partners.

Cracker wants a poly.

I always wanted to lay naked on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace...

Evidently Cracker Barrel has a policy against this.

What do you call a Caucasian pyromancer

Fire Cracker

Heavenly Christmas

After an accident, three dead souls find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven.

On entering they must present something related to Christmas.

The first man searches his pocket and finds some Mistletoe, so he is allowed in.

The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in.

The third man pulls out a pair of panties.

Confused at this last gesture, St. Peter asks, "How do these represent Christmas?"

The man responded, "They're Carol's."

I call the sunshine cracker company every year at this time and request they sell Cheez-its shrunk to 1/4th their original size.

I request they market them as "Sweet little baby Cheez-its."

My redneck cousin is looking for a girl into multiple partners. I told him that was ridiculously clichΓ©...

I mean really. Cracker wants a poly?

What is the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

One is a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker.

What do you call it when a graham cracker, a marshmallow, and a piece of chocolate have sex?

A smorgy.

What do you call an angry, white supremacist?

A saltine cracker.

What do you call a white grandma?

a Gram Cracker

If the KKK was meeting for lunch where would they go?

Cracker Barrel.

Overheard my boss say this to our secretary..

What's the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?

One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

Why did the cannibal take a jar of peanut butter to the White House?

He heard there was a giant cheezy cracker in office.

Jesus must be white.

'cause he tastes like a cracker.

What did the redneck parrot say?

Cracker wants a Polly.

Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a Cracker.

What do call a KKK member that steals your car right in front of you?

Cracker Jack.

What do you call a team-up between a maniac, a random white guy, and the head of the Vatican?

Snapped, Cracker and Pope

I pushed a cracker through the bars of the cage and said, "Who's a pretty boy?"

"I want my mommy," he sobbed.

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS!

...Polly want a cracker.

The difference between a cookie and a cracker.

Cookies don't care if you pull down a civil war statue.

I don't understand why everyone is surprised that the religious right is okay with racism

Every church I've ever gone to has told me Jesus is a white cracker.

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

because polly wanted a cracker

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

Notice: Due to overwhelming political pressure, Cracker Barrel will now be known as Caucasian Barrel.

What is the opposite of a brownie?

A cracker.

What does a Cracker say when his pockets are filled with cheddar?

IM RITZ, BITS!

What do you call Christ on a cracker?

Jeez-It's.

What do you call an attacked white person

A salted cracker

My black friend thinks I'm really smart for a white person.

He calls me a wise cracker.

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

Cracker.

If a black person calls you a whitey or a cracker just remember...

It's fine for them to say that, you can say things they never will be able too.

Like, "thanks for the warning officer"

Black Cashier: Want to buy a graham cracker?

White Customer: A gram of what? And please don't call me a "cracker", it's racist.

What do you call a butthurt white guy?

A salty cracker.

What do you call a neo-nazi that's burst into flames

A fire cracker

What's the worst place to be during a tornado?

Cracker Barrel.

What do call a white guy in a burning building?

Fire cracker

What do you call a restaurant full of white people?

The Cracker Barrel.

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

What do you call a middle eastern cracker?

A sultine!

Once you've had black, you might never go back but..

Everything taste better on a cracker.

What do you call an albino lion?

Animal cracker.

What did one cracker say to the other?

"Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

What did the cookie say to the cracker?

You feeling salty bro?

How to make Cracker jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Cracker to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Cracker? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Cracker pick up lines to share with friends.

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