Cracker Jokes

Have you ever been to a c**... Barrel?

Not a lot of barrels in there...

What happened to the dog that ate a Christmas tree?

He f**... a c**....

What is the difference between a Ritz c**... and a lesbian?

One is a snack c**... and the other is a crack snacker.

Christmas c**... joke

A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.

What do you call Shaka Zulu with a Fire c**...?

BOOM-SHAKA-LAKA!

What seemed to be the parrots problem?

Prolly wanted a c**...!

Since my last joke was so well received, here's another: What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion?

I don't know, but if it wants a c**..., you better give it one!

What's the worst place to be during a tornado?

c**... Barrel.

What is the difference between a chorus line and an acrobatic team?

One displays a cunning array of stunts!
Anyone else?
Whats the difference between a Ritz c**... and a lesbian?
One is a Snack c**...!

What happens when a black man calls a hispanic man a c**...?

He brings out the salsa.

Crackers

So my black friend Treyvon is having some issues with his girl friend (Polly). He told me she gave him an ultimatum. He either has to change his life in a number of ways including getting a stable job and marrying her or she'll leave him and find some one who will. After Treyvon had poured his heart out and told me about what Polly had told him he asked me what i thought. So I gave him my honest opinion. I said " well it sounds like Polly wants a c**...."

how did the female half of the i**... couple open up the discussion about her swinging fantasy?

c**... wanna poly?

c**... Barrel just won a $10 Billion contract to construct a restaurant on Mars, to serve future colonists.

According to NASA, this is the most cost-effective means of creating atmosphere.

What did the cookie say to the c**...?

You feeling salty bro?

What do you call a tanned white guy?

A Ritz c**....

What kind of work out do parrots have on leg day?

SQUAAATS!
...Polly want a c**....

Overheard my boss say this to our secretary..

What's the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?
One is a snack c**..., the other is a crack snacker.

Why did John keep on finding c**... crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

Notice: Due to overwhelming political pressure, c**... Barrel will now be known as Caucasian Barrel.

What do you call a m**... church?

A c**... Barrel.

Once you've had black, you might never go back but..

Everything taste better on a c**....

Jesus was white

If there's one thing I learned in church, it's that the man was a c**...

What did one c**... say to the other?

"Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia."

Her parents wanted her to date someone of her own ethnicity.

But Polly wanted a c**....

Why didn't the parrot want the black guy to buy him?

Polly want a c**....

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

c**....

Anyone who thinks Jesus wasn't a white man has never been to communion

The body of Christ is a c**....

My black friend thinks I'm really smart for a white person.

He calls me a wise c**....

What do you call a team-up between a maniac, a random white guy, and the head of the Vatican?

Snapped, c**... and Pope

What time do crackers wake up in the morning?

At the c**... dawn.

What do you call an angry, white supremacist?

A saltine c**....

Black Cashier: Want to buy a graham c**...?

White Customer: A gram of what? And please don't call me a "c**...", it's racist.

What do you call a white grandma?

a Gram c**...

I pushed a c**... through the bars of the cage and said, "Who's a pretty boy?"

"I want my mommy," he sobbed.

What do you call a really pale Asian?

Rice c**....

What do you call a white baker?

Betty c**...

What do you call it when a graham c**..., a marshmallow, and a piece of chocolate have s**...?

A smorgy.

What do you call a middle eastern c**...?

A sultine!

What do call a k**... member that steals your car right in front of you?

c**... Jack.

What do you call a neo-n**... that's burst into flames

A fire c**...

What is a Racist Old Lady's favorite snack?

A Graham c**....

What is the opposite of a brownie?

A c**....

What did the r**... parrot say?

c**... wants a Polly.

Wanna know how I can prove Jesus was white?

The body of Christ is a c**....

What does a c**... say when his pockets are filled with cheddar?

IM RITZ, BITS!

I call the sunshine c**... company every year at this time and request they sell Cheez-its shrunk to 1/4th their original size.

I request they market them as "Sweet little baby Cheez-its."

100 Internet points to whoever can solve this xmas c**...!

What kind of cough medicine does Dracula take?
Con Medicine
(a house of 20 can't work it out between us)

What was the idiots favorite type of c**...?

Degene-ritz

Jesus must be white.

'cause he tastes like a c**....

What do you call a ritzy h**...?

A c**... Jack.

What do you call a bunch of white people in little pieces on the floor?

c**... crumbs!

What's c**...-Lacking

Lack of white people.

After winning 5 years running, I was finally beaten in the World c**... Eating Championships.

Man that was hard to s**....

If the k**... was meeting for lunch where would they go?

c**... Barrel.

I always wanted to lay n**... on a bearskin rug in front of a fireplace...

Evidently c**... Barrel has a policy against this.

My r**... cousin wants to be with a girl who is into multiple partners.

c**... wants a poly.

I don't understand why everyone is surprised that the religious right is okay with racism

Every church I've ever gone to has told me Jesus is a white c**....

The difference between a cookie and a c**....

Cookies don't care if you pull down a civil war statue.

If i had a Salt c**... for every imaginary non-existant gender

Hold up, why is there a 2 mile long line of Tuc delivery trucks in the frontyard?

I had a Pacific Islander friend who was into white chicks.

When I asked him why, he simply replied:
Poly want a c**...!

If a black person calls you a w**... or a c**... just remember...

It's fine for them to say that, you can say things they never will be able too.
Like, "thanks for the warning officer"

A graham c**..., a marshmallow, and a chocolate bar are lonely by a campfire.

They need s'more friends.

What do you call a group of Caucasians rolling down a hill?

A c**... barrel

What do you call a white person in bubble rap

Safe c**...

What do you call an angry white sailor?

A salty sea c**...

What do you call Christ on a c**...?

Jeez-It's.

What do you call an albino lion?

Animal c**....

Jesus Christ wasn't white...

But according to Catholics he's still a c**....

Why did the cannibal take a jar of peanut butter to the White House?

He heard there was a giant cheezy c**... in office.

how 30,000 somalians died in a match?

After a tackle the referee took out a yellow card, they thought it was a c**....
Ps: I translated it from my dialect it may sound weird or offensive .

Christmas c**... joke: Why do birds fly south in the winter?

Because they can't afford the train!
Sorry, but I'm eating alone this Christmas and have no one here to tell it to.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine.

I'm sorry.
Found in a Christmas c**.... Is my sense of humour rapidly deteriorating or is this as funny as I've been finding it since Christmas Day?

If it looks like Styrofoam, feels like Styrofoam, and tastes like Styrofoam.

It's a rice c**....

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a lion?

I don't know, but if it wants a c**... you better give it one

Everybody gets mad when I say Jesus was white, but I have proof.

If my understanding of transubstantiation is correct, Jesus is a c**....

I found an animal c**... shaped like Jesus...

...it was a snackrificial lamb.

What are the Dire Straits' favorite kind of c**...?

Saltines of swing

Whatrestraunt is always full of white people?

c**... Barrel

I called a Karen a c**... the other day

She said I was a saltine her rights

I just made a list of my top 10 favourite Dad jokes. The first 9 are great but the last one is an absolute c**...

1) great
2) great
3) great
4) great
5) great
6) great
7) great
8) great
9) great
10) An absolute c**...

Why did they send the gluten-free saltine to jail?

Because it was a safe c**...!