Cracked Phone Jokes
22 cracked phone jokes and hilarious cracked phone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cracked phone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cracked Phone Short Jokes
Short cracked phone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cracked phone humour may include short smashed phone jokes also.
- Phones these days are so expensive... If you fall and hear a crack, you hope you broke your leg.
- I don't need pictures of my wife on my phone to remind me of her. The screen has a massive crack in it.
- Why so many people with iPhones have cracked screen? Because after selling one kidney to buy the phone you biologically can't remove the other one to replace the cracked screen.
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Cracked Phone One Liners
Which cracked phone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cracked phone? I can suggest the ones about broken phone and cell phone.
- my new phone makes me feel like a crack dealer ...mainly because I use it to sell crack.
- My phone didn't do crack Until I cracked it
- Yo mamma... So big her selfie cracked my phone screen
- I just cracked my phone screen. Does anyone want a screenshot?
- What drug is most destructive with phones? Crack.
Cracked Phone Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cracked phone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lost phone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cracked phone pranks.
How many NSA agents does it take to change a light bulb?
I've just been informed that the NSA no longer has the capability to change a light bulb, but if we give them access to everyone's email and cell phone communications they will hopefully intercept a message that will crack this lightbulb case wide open.
Men's Helpline
Men's Helpline
"Hello, you have reached the Men's Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
Men's Help Line
MEN"S HELP LINE, "Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
Caller: "Hi, Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with 'the girls' a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"
A Galaxy Phone, an iPhone and a windows phone fall out a top story window.
The galaxy phone bounces with minor cracks.
The iPhone smashes into dozens of pieces.
The windows phone freezes mid decent.
Blonde dropped and cracked her phone screen.
Blonde 1: "Hey, I dropped my phone and the screen is cracked. Will they be able to fix this?"
Blonde 2: "Is it that bad?"
Blonde 1:: "See for yourself. I'll send you a screen shot."
\*After seeing the screenshot\*
Blonde 2: "Are you kidding me?"
Blonde 1:: "..."
Blonde 2: "This looks brand new."
I really need your advice on a serious problem.
I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. Some of the signs are if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She also goes out with the girls a lot.
Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning up her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at that moment while I was crouched behind the boat that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?
Please advise me ASAP since I'm quite worried about this.
Two men are hunting in the Forest...
Two men are hunting in the forest by themselves, when suddenly one of them falls down into a huge pit. The other hunter is shocked, and shouts down the hole to see if his friend is okay. He sees him motionless at the bottom of the pit, and gets really worried. He gets out his mobile phone, and calls an emergency helpline. A woman answers.
"Hello, this is the emergency helpline, how can I help you?" she asks.
"I'm in the forest with my friend and he just fell down a pit and I think he's dead, I'm certain! He isn't moving!" the man replies worriedly.
The woman senses the fright in his voice, and says to him "Right, it's okay, calm down, don't worry."
The man breathes heavily.
"Okay, sir? The first thing I'm going to need you to do, is make sure that your friend is dead. Okay?"
The woman can no longer hear his heavy breathing, and instead she hears the crack of a gunshot.
"Sir? Hello?" she asks.
"Okay, I've made sure he's dead, what do I do now?"
A man phones home from his business trip...
His 9yo son answers and says hey.
"Hey buddy, it's dad! Wheres youre mom?"
"I will check", replies the son as he walks to his parents' bedroom and sees his mom in bed with uncle Jim. "She is playing in bed with uncle Jim"
"What?! Uncle Jim?! Tell them I will be right over!" the man fumes.
"Mom, dad says he'll be right over", says the kid. His mom starts panicking and shouting, uncle Jim jumps quickly from the window and falls in the empty pool and cracks his head. The mom rolls in sheets, exits the room and falls down the stairs and cracks her head.
The kid looks around and starts crying.
"What happened son?"
"Mom fell down the stairs abd uncle Jim jumped into the empty pool and died" he squeals.
"The pool?" Asks the man. "Is this the Goldberg house??"
Mens Help Line
MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month
Hi John,
I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected
for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs:
if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the
girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home
but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the
shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car
buttoning her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and
slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I
noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that
something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?