Cracked Egg Jokes
65 cracked egg jokes and hilarious cracked egg puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about cracked egg that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Cracked Egg Short Jokes
Short cracked egg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cracked egg humour may include short fried egg jokes also.
- Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!" - How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it? Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.
- Do egg jokes crack you up? Or do they make you scramble away... omelette you think about it...
- Why did the worker on the egg farm get fired from his job? Because he had a crack addiction.
- There are two eggs in a pan of boiling water One says "oh! I've got a small crack."
The other replies "don't worry, I'm only half hard." - Wanna hear a joke about eggs? Nah, you'll crack up because my yolks, are egg-celent
Note:I've told this jokeat least 12 dozen times - How can you tell if an egg has a double yolk? Send it for an eggs-ray (I'm sorry 🙈, my daughter said this when I cracked a double yolked egg into the pan this morning)
- I ordered a chicken and an egg off Craigslist The chicken was dead and the egg was cracked
- I was in the jungle and I saw these two suspicious guys cracking eggs into boiling water. They were poachers
- When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Share These Cracked Egg Jokes With Friends
Cracked Egg One Liners
Which cracked egg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cracked egg? I can suggest the ones about boiled egg and dropped egg.
- Why don't eggs tell each other jokes? Because they would crack each other up
- Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk.
- Why can't eggs keep secrets? Because they tend to crack under pressure
- How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg? None. It fell down the stairs.
- What is it called when you crack an egg and two yolks come out? An anomalette
- I have a joke about an egg. I'm gonna crack it soon.
- Did you hear the one about the falling eggs? It will crack you up
I'll just go now - What did the egg say to the frying pan? You crack me up!
- Why couldnt the egg make it through boot camp? Cuz he cracks under pressure.
- A German taught me how to crack eggs today. It was ei-opening.
- What did the egg say to the clown? You crack me up!
- Why can't an egg ever be in charge? Because they crack under pressure.
- I beat up some eggs with an egg beater. They kept cracking yokes at me.
- Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table? Because it cracked itself up.
- Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting? He was addicted to crack.
Cracked Egg Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about cracked egg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean poached egg jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cracked egg pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the n**....
He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading.
The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied.
The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain.
When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know.
I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that n**... fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him?
Nothing.
I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute."
Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.
Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.
"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.
He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much? He cracked up.
A woman dies and goes to the gates of heaven.
When she gets there, she is perplexed and confused to find everyone furiously cracking eggs, dumping flour, and mixing batter.
She turns around and sees an entire section dedicated to decoration, with elaborate concoctions of strawberries, frosting, and tiering at every station.
Finally, she seems to recognize someone who appears to be in charge. She runs over and asks the man, "what is going on here?"
The strange man replies, "everyone here is doing their best to better their souls." Confused at the cryptic answer and curious about the strange man's traditional Mongolian garb, the woman asks him to elaborate.
The Buddhist Monk replies, "my dear, having cake is the best way to gain Karma."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sunbathing...
A man was sunbathing n**..., when a little girl came along. He quickly covered himself with a hat and the girl asked him "What's under the hat?" The man said "It's my little bird, but he's shy so move along." The girl compile and moved along while the man went to sleep. He later woke up in a hospital with his groin in pain. He asked the doctor what happened and the doctor brought him to the little girl he had saw before. She explained the story to him. She said "I came back and you were asleep, so I said hi to your bird. I played with him for awhile, but he spat at me! So I broke its neck, burned it's nest, and cracked it's eggs!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Girl
A man is lying on the beach, n**.... I little girl approaches him and asks "Hey mister, what's that?" (She is pointing to his junk) the man replies "It's just a little birdie, now go away." The man falls asleep.
A few hours later the man wakes up in the hospital. The doctor asks"What happened to you?" The man replies "I don't know, all I remember is a little girls asking me about my junk and then leaving." They find the little girl.
The little girl says "I went to go play with the birdy, but it peed on me, so I ripped it's neck off, cracked it's eggs, and lit it's nest on fire."
Old McDonald's prized hen asked another chicken to lay on her egg for a while
But it cracked under the pressure
There used to be an ad campaign that said "go to work on an egg"...
I tried that, the egg wouldn't move and eventually it cracked, so I went to work on a bicycle as I usually do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is m**... in France like cooking an egg?
Because in both cases you're cracking one oeuf
Egg puns...
...are cracking!
What happens when an egg laughs?
He cracks up
I downloaded an egg off the internet
It was $10, so I cracked it.
What do you say about a funny egg?
It's full of yokes......
I hope that cracked you up.
What would you do if you cracked an egg for breakfast and a mouse came out and then time froze and God came down and said to forget what you saw or else?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What can you expect from a bad egg comedian?
He's constantly scrambling to fry and crack you up with some "egg-celent" yolk, but boil boy are they bad.
what did the hacker say to the egg farmer
you farm was too vulnerable so i took at crack at it
Why did the breakfast sausage laugh?
Because the egg cracked a yoke
Can I tell you an egg joke? Its gonna crack you up!
Sorry I got so eggcited I forgot what the yolk was.
I have been a vegan for my whole life, but after my friends kept urging me to eat scrambled eggs, i finally did.
Tbh it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Did you hear about the hollow egg?
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
Why is a egg bad in the interrogation room?
Because it always cracks under pressure.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't know why the teen that cracked egg on the Aussie senator's head is hailed as a hero.
He's clearly an eggstremist and we don't condone eggstremism
The Egg
I'm utterly opposed to any form of egg cracking on anyone's head and I totally condemn the act of the underage violent vigilante who cracked an egg on senators head. However with that being said what it highlights is the endless distribution and importing of eggs all around the world. Rising fear of egg presence all around Australia and new Zealand. The real cause of what happened today was Australian government allowing to import and to produce eggs in their country in the first place. While today the senator is the victim it doesn't make him the blameless. If you banned eggs in the first place it would have been avoided.
(Collected)
(Cr
Did you know you can crack open a meteor like an egg?
Of course you can, the real yolk is always in the comets.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two guys at a yard sale are chatting, one says whatcha got there, pal?
Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap
What in the h**... would you need all that junk for?
He said I can use it to crack an egg
You're such a rube, Goldberg