Crack Me Up Jokes
27 crack me up jokes and hilarious crack me up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about crack me up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Crack Me Up Short Jokes
Short crack me up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crack me up humour may include short make me laugh jokes also.
- Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
- Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
- A homeless man asked me for money I had 20 dollars in my pocket and didn't want it to just go towards crack and alcohol So I gave it to the homeless man
- Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it. concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!" - What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one.
- My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
- What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? Neither one can resist the urge to crack open a cold one .
- Every N.W.A song Verse 1: Sellin' crack rocks and shootin' muthafuckas!
Verse 2: Police pull me over just 'cause I'm brown. - Some man I just met thought I was Israeli so I cracked the 10 lost tribes of Israel joke to him and he got gassed.
- Why do prostitutes make more money then drug dealers? Because they can wash their crack and sell it again
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Crack Me Up One Liners
Which crack me up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crack me up? I can suggest the ones about crack up and cracking up.
- Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
- Why don't eggs tell each other jokes? Because they would crack each other up
- You call it necrophilia.... But I call it cracking open a cold one with the boys.
- Saw two druggies having a '69' in the park earlier on. He was on crack, she was on blow.
- What is a vampire's favourite thing to do? Crack open a boy with the cold ones.
- Yo mama so fat... When she tripped, I didn't laugh, but the ground was cracking up
- Why did the bacon laugh? Because the egg cracked a yolk.
- Why did Humpty Dumpty push Ms. Humpty Dumpty off the wall? To see her crack.
- Yo mama so fat it's hilarious I'm not laughing but the floor is cracking up
- Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? It got stuck in a crack
- If a crack forms in your backyard. Is it your fault?
- What do you call the crack dealer on a bicycle? A drug peddler
- I woke up to the crack of Dawn the other day... I said "Dawn! Get off my face!"
- Like a suicidal Humpty Dumpty, I crack myself up
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
Laughable Crack Me Up Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about crack me up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crack some jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make crack me up pranks.
Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...
Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.
An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up
A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.
Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.
"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.
Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.
"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.
The genie shook his head.
"I can't fulfill that wish."
The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"
The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"
What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!
3 hunters were walking in a forest when they came across some tracks.
One hunter claims they were bear tracks.
The second frowns, and says "No, those are certainly badger tracks."
The third just laughs and says, "Honestly! You two crack me up! Those are *obviously* baby elephant tracks!"
And then the train hit them.
What did the egg say to the frying pan?
You crack me up!
Chiropractors are hilarious.
They crack me up.
Chiropractors are funny...
They crack me up :)
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up!
I love drug jokes
They crack me up real good
What did the geosphere say to the hydrosphere?
You crack me up
People says that i'm a drunkard, but its not true at all, its the frog's fault !
They crack me up
Hippie jokes
Q: How can you tell a hippie has been at your house?
A: He's still there.
Q: What did he say when you told him to leave?
A: Namaste.
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Q: What's the difference between a hippie chick and a joint?
A: The joint won't make it all the way around the circle.
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Q: How do you starve a hippie?
A: Hide his drug money under the soap.
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Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of w**...?
A: Man, this music s**...!
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Q: What do hippie chicks and hockey players have in common?
A: They both shower and change pads after 3 periods.
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So this guy got his dog really high. He tells the dog "Play dead." And the dog says, "Nah man, play Floyd!"
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Please add more if you think of them, most of my friends are "hippies" and these jokes freakin crack me up.
