The Best 18 Crack Head Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Crack Head jokes. There are some crack head jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these crack head puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Crack Head Jokes and Puns

I caught the flu in Madrid.

While sniffling and coughing and rolling around in the hotel bed, I realized I needed medical attention, so I called the concierge to get help.



"Oh, so you're sick!" came the reply. "Not a problem, we'll send our very own hotel doctor up to your room right away!"



The doctor strolled into the room within seconds, and whilst I stuttered and tried to comprehend the situation, he gave me some medicine to ease the symptoms. When I finally stammered out "h...how does the hotel have their own doctor on call?", he simply shook his head and cracked a smile, and replied:



"Nobody expects the Spanish inn physician."

An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up

A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.

Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.

"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.

Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.

"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.

The genie shook his head.

"I can't fulfill that wish."

The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"

The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"

So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost)

...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. "That's boxing, from Las Vegas."

The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goes back to his drink. The big guy also sits back down, but after a few minutes he gets back up and kicks the little guy who slides all the way to the end of the bar. "That's karate, from Japan."

Again, the little fellow just quietly gets up, goes back to his seat, and resumes drinking. A few more minutes go by and the big fella gets up a third time, grabs the little dude, and throws him right into the door of the bar. "That's kung fu, from China."

This time, however, the little guy gets up and just walks out. After some time he walks back in, right up behind the big guy, and cracks him over the head, laying him unconscious in the floor. The little guy looks at the bartender and says "You tell that sonofabitch when he wakes up that that was crowbar, from Sears and Roebuck."

Crack Head joke, So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost)

Holmes and Watson were investigating a murder at an archaeological dig-site

Holmes picks up several of the rocks and pebbles surrounding the murder victim. After a while, Holmes turns to his companion and says "I've cracked the case. The suspect was clearly murdered with a blow to the head by a rock, which then crumbled and scattered into pieces."

"How on Earth can you tell?" exclaims Watson.

"It's sedimentary, my dear Watson."

what's the difference between a crack head and a pot head?

If a crackhead overdoses you find them dead in the gutter, if pothead overdoses you find them asleep in the fridge.


Dad joke while in labor and delivery

Wife is getting induced so we are currently at the hospital and while talking to the nurse she asked how many kids she had. To which she replied 3 as any seasoned Dad would do I decided to introduce a joke that had me cracking up in my head so I turn and look and say 3 kids with a frown that's an odd number. Made my day but was made to a tough crowd so came here for a better response.

Did you hear about the most recent celebrity drug addict?

I Don't know how we missed it for so long, but it turns out that Humpy Dumpty was actually a crack head

Crack Head joke, Did you hear about the most recent celebrity drug addict?

I don't know why the teen that cracked egg on the Aussie senator's head is hailed as a hero.

He's clearly an eggstremist and we don't condone eggstremism

I woke up at the crack of dawn...

So I told her to get off my head and let me get some sleep.

Cant beat the classics.

Duck Jokes

What do you call a duck addicted to crack?
A quack head.

What is a ducks favorite snack?
Quackers.

Why couldn't the duck drive his car?
His windshield was quacked.

Heard my neighbor having sex for what seemed like ages last night. Lots of moaning, groaning and banging the headboard off the wall!!!

Turns out her elderly mother had fallen over, cracked her head and was knocking on the wall with her stick for her help. Now I kinda feel guilty about fapping.

You can explore crack head reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean crack head dad jokes. There are also crack head puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What car brands mean

Ford-Flipped Over Rebuilt Dodge

Pontiac-Plan On Numerous Trips In Another Car

Fiat- Fix It Again Tony

Chevrolet-Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time

Nissan-Needless Innovations, Silly, Stupid, Automotive Nonsense

GM-Gluteus Maximus

GMC-God's Mechanical Curse

LTD-Long, Thin Dumpster

Oldsmobile-Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.

What is a crack head's favourite song?

Q: What is a crack head's favourite song?
A: I wanna rock!!!

Well I found it funny anyway..

If i get a blow job from a meth addict...

is that crack-head?

He's a good crack but he's a bit of a big head

Humpty Dumpty

You might be a crack head... If your dog weighs more than you do... Here's your sign.

Crack Head joke

Got a case for my iPhone even though the screen is already cracked.

So basically it's like putting a condom on my kid's head.

Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change.

I'll be back in a minute."

Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body.

Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely.

"What are you doing?," the female egg asked.

He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the crack head jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working crack head piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes