Crab Jokes

146 crab jokes and hilarious crab puns to laugh out loud. Read food jokes about crab that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for some good crab jokes? From Hermit Crabs to Maryland Crabs, and anything in between, these jokes will have you laughing out loud and telling some of your own. Plus, find out why lowly flounder don't like to tell jokes about crustaceans. Get ready for some laughs with these crab jokes!

Best Short Crab Jokes

Short crab jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The crab humour may include short lobster jokes also.

  1. Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
  2. My friend, who's star sign was cancer, died very ironically. He was mauled by a giant crab.
  3. My uncle's zodiac sign was Cancer, which was ironic, because he died from being crushed by a giant crab.
  4. A crab, a tuna, a lobster, and a Chinese man being run over by a steam roller. What doesn't belong? The Tuna, since all of the others are crushedasians.
  5. A man stands over the coffin of his deceased wife. "Her star sign was cancer you know" he says. " I guess it's ironic..." "That she was killed by a giant crab."
  6. Given the terms crab , tuna , lobster , and Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders , which does not fit? Ans: tuna . The other 3 are crushed asians.
  7. My wife said "Please don't post that crab joke again, it's not that funny." I said, "It might not be the best joke on there......but it'll do in a pinch."
  8. My mother's star sign was cancer. Ironic how she died, really. She died due to fatal injuries from a giant crab attack.
  9. My wife's starsign was Cancer, which is quite ironic really, thinking about how she died... she was attacked by a giant crab
  10. My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died. Mauled to death by a giant crab.

Quick Jump To

Crab joke, My wife's star-sign was Cancer, so I guess you could say it was ironic how she died.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about crab can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of crab puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Share These Crab Jokes With Friends

Crab One Liners

Which crab one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with crab? I can suggest the ones about crustacean and shrimp.

  1. My aunt's star sign was cancer, pretty ironic how she died She was eaten by a giant crab
  2. Why the crab cross the road? It didn't, it used the sidewalk.
  3. My cousin's horoscope was Cancer. Funny how she died... She got eaten by a giant crab
  4. My dad's sign was cancer. Its so ironic how he died. He was attacked by a giant crab.
  5. What's it called when a crab is walking to it's part time job? A side hustle.
  6. Why did the crab cross the road? Actually, it never did. It used the sidewalk.
  7. What do you call a crab that like to paint? Leonardo Da Pinci
  8. What do you call a crab that walks in a straight line? Drunk
  9. What do you call an oriental crab? A Crust-Asian
  10. My grandmother was a cancer, ironic how she died. She was killed by a giant crab.
  11. Why did the crab never share? Because he was shellfish!
  12. Why did the crab hate to share? He was a little shellfish.
  13. What do you call a greedy crab? Shell fish......
  14. I'm on a no seafood diet to lose weight It's low crab.
  15. I haven't found cancer jokes funny since.. my grandfather got killed by a giant crab.

Crab Legs Jokes

Here is a list of funny crab legs jokes and even better crab legs puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why didn't the bee want crab legs? He wanted bee-food, not seafood!
  • Winston and a Cat What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?
    One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.
  • Scientists found out that c**... hear through their legs. A scientist yelled at a crab and it ran away. Then he cut of its legs and yelled at it again. And suddenly the crab didn't run away anymore.
  • How about you put sand... ...between those legs to make the c**... feel at home?
  • Yo momma's so n**... That when you asked her what's for dinner, she opened her legs and said c**....
  • Yo mama is so stank... She has to put ice between her legs to keep the c**... fresh.

King Crab Jokes

Here is a list of funny king crab jokes and even better king crab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call a crab that knows king fu? A Crust-Asian
  • What's the biggest crab in London? King's Crusteacean
  • Where do c**... take the train? King's Cross Station :)

Crab Claw Jokes

Here is a list of funny crab claw jokes and even better crab claw puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws
  • Why did the hermit crab refuse to go in his shell? Because he was claw-strophobic!
  • What does a crab and Christmas have in common? Sandy Claws

Hermit Crab Jokes

Here is a list of funny hermit crab jokes and even better hermit crab puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How did the hermit crab show off his new apartment? He took a shelfie.
  • What's the worse quality of a hermit crab? They're too shell-fish!
  • Why did the depressed hermit crab return to its old home? It was a shell of its former self.
  • Why was the crab bad at baseball? Because hermits are too small.
  • What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
    A hermit crab.
  • I had a one night stand with a recluse on tinder She gave me hermit c**...
  • What do you call an STD for homeless people? Hermit c**...
  • I bought two hermit c**... I put them in the same small cage, are they still hermit c**...???
  • What kind of STD does a loner get? Hermit c**...!
  • What kind of pictures do hermit c**... take? Shellfies
Crab joke, What kind of pictures do hermit c**... take?

Happy Crab Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about crab you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean shellfish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make crab prank.

So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer.

which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab...

My friend's star sign was cancer, so I guess it's quite ironic how he died.

He got attacked by a giant crab.

Why did the marriage between the crab and the shrimp end in a divorce?

Because they were both too Shellfish.

What kind of chinese food goes on adventures?

Crab ragoonies

So a man gets back from a holiday.

and he's showing his family a photo album. He gets to one picture and says, look this is a little monkey called a macaque, and it's diet consists mostly of c**.... His family is somewhat impressed and enjoy the cute picture.
The man then says "Well if you liked that, you'll love these!" turns the page and the family let out cries of disgust and horror. surprised, the man says "What? it's just another picture of a crab eating macaque."

What do you get if you steamroll a crab and a Korean at the same time?

A crustacean

My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.

She got eaten by a giant crab.

What Did The Jumbo Shrimp Say To The Jumbo Crab?

"Looks like you've got me in a pinch."

Where did the crab work inside her new job at the pizza factory?

At the crust station.

My girlfriends star sign

My girlfriends star sign is cancer, so it was quite ironic how she died
She got beaten to death by a giant crab

What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?

The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.

My wife's starsign was cancer, which makes how she died pretty ironic.

Attacked by a giant crab.

what do you call a crab who will do anything to survive in the ocean?

a shell out

How do c**... travel cheaply?

p**... transportation

What did the blue crab call his ex girlfriend?

Old Bay

What did the clam say when a crab attacked him?


What do you call a dirty Chinese crab?

A crusty asian

How do c**... get out of hospitals?

On crotches.

Why did the little crab keep all the treasure for himself?

Because he was a little shellfish.

c**... are amazing collectivistic creatures;

they only use p**... transportation.

My wife died last week

It's ironic because her zodiac symbol was cancer. She was killed by a giant crab

What do you call an Chinese crab?

A crustasian

What's the difference between an old crab and a Korean in the oven?

Ones a crusty crestacean and the others a crispy crust Asian

A crab, a lobster, a dolphin...

and a Japanese dude run over by a truck. Which one doesn't match up?
[The dolphin. The other three are all crustaceans/crushed Asians](#s)

My grandmother was born under the sign of Cancer, which is ironic

because last week she actually got killed by a giant crab.

Mamma, why my brother was named Barc?

-Because Barc in reverse is crab. And your mommy loves c**....
-Ah, I see. Thanks for explaining, mom.
-No problem, Lana.

My ex wife's star sign was Cancer, quite ironic considering how she died...

...Eaten by a giant crab 🦀
Note: not my joke, not sure where I heard it

All of my family have died ironic deaths, like my grandfather, whose star sign was Cancer

he died from a giant crab attack.

People say star signs are a load of rubbish, but it's not true. My gran was a cancer, which is ironic considering how she died....

Eaten by a giant crab.

Dad joke alert: why didn't the crab and lobster get along?

They were too shellfish.

Why don't c**... give charitable donations?

Because they're shellfish.

Why was everyone confused when a crab walked straight into the bar?

Because c**... only walk sideways.

My grandma's star sign was Cancer so her death was pretty ironic...

She was killed by a giant crab.

My late grandmother's star sign was Cancer, which is ironic...

She got killed by a giant crab.

What do you call a crab holding a basket of tampons?

A crustacean m**... station.

A huge crab walks into a bar...

...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"

Whats the difference between a dirty bus stop, and a crab with implants?

One is a crusty bus station and the other is b**... crustacean

My mother was a Cancer, which is ironic.

Since she was actually killed by a giant crab.

How do c**... get around on land?

They use the sidewalk.

What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab?

Leonardo da Pinci

Whats worse than crab on your piano?

Cancer on your organs

Why did the crab go to jail?

For pinching.

Do you know what you call an air tight crustacean?

A hermetic crab

What's worse than having a shrimp on your piano?

Having a crab on your o**....

What martial art Aquaman learnt in Atlantis?

Crab Magá

My grandfathers star sign was cancer which is ironic seeing how he died.

He was eaten by a giant crab.

In 49 states in America, a crab shack is a restaurant.

In Florida, it's a changing room.

Why don't c**... donate to charity?

They're shellfish penny pinchers.

Surimi must have the lowest self-esteem of all fish.

Nobody would dare eat them unless you refer to them as "imitation crab."

A crab walks into a bar...

The Barman says "I can't serve you mate, you're already walking sideways".

What do you call a female crab who is also single?

Ms. Shell

Why do c**... never give to charity?

Because they're shellfish

What's the difference between a giant crab and a midget marketeer selling overpriced prawns?

One is a big shellfish, the other a little selfish.

How do c**... run in Alabama?

They run in family.

How did c**... get around Atlantis?

p**... transportation

The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died.

He was eaten by a large crab.

Why do c**... have pinchers?

Just for the halibut

The other day while scuba diving for seafood it dawned on me that everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,

that's shellfish.

here is something morbidly ironic

my grandmother uh she was a cancer and she was actually killed by a giant crab

Crab joke, here is something morbidly ironic

jokes about crab

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these crab jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.