cows Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious cows puns

Did you hear about what happened to the really offensive joke about cows?

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What do you call cows that have a sense of humor?

Laughing stock.

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Why did the cows come back to the marijuana field?

The pot was calling the cattle back

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My wife left me for an Indian guy

It's okay, I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows

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A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97

So he rounded them up.

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Are these gay cows, daddy?

No, they're bison.

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How do you call a cow with no legs?

You don't, because cows don't have phones.

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Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they.... lactose.....

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I had to quit my vegetarian diet

Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.

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You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke...

They consider cows to be sacred.

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In what state are most cows found in?

Solid

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A farmer had 196 cows in his field

When he rounded them up he had 200

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana field?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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A farmer counted 198 cows in his field.

But when he rounded them up, he had 200.

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Did you know the Mods on this sub are actually cows? Evidence listed below.

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Why is ground beef so popular?

Because the flying cows are really hard to catch.

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A farmer was counting his cows....

A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

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My girl left me for a Hindu guy.

It's okay thought, he'll treat her better. They worship cows.

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Two cows standing in a field...

One cow looks at the other and says "Moo", the other cow says "Fuck I was just about to say that".

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There are two cows standing in a field....

The first cow says to the other, I was artificially inseminated this morning. The second cow replies, No way, I don't believe you. The first says, It's true, no bull.

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Cows

How does a farmer count cows?

On a cowculater :D:D
(ya its crap)

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Two cows are standing in a field.

One cow says, Man that mad cow disease sure is scary isn't it?

The other responds, Yea it is, thank god I'm a helicopter.

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I came home from shopping today...

to find my wife and her two fat mates eating doritos on the couch, I mumbled under my breath "fat fucking cows" she said "what did you just say?!" I replied "you herd"

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Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

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Two cows were talking in a field..

One said to the other, "Have you heard about that mad cow disease?" The other says, "Yeah, good thing we're penguins".

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Two cows walk into a vegan bar.

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."

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What did the momma cow say to her baby cows?

It's pasture bedtime

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"Look! A flock of cows!"

"Look! A flock of cows!"

"Herd."

"What was that?"

"Herd of cows..."

"Well of course I've heard of cows."

There's a whole flock of them right over there!"

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An infinite number of mathematically inclined cows walk into a bar...

And the bartender says, "close the door! Were you raised in a barn?!"

But the cows keep shuffling in.

Because they don't understand English.

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What's the main use for leather in the world?

Holding cows together

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Two cows got in a fight..

One started to march towards the other, while the other got scared.

One was cowrageous.

The other was a coward.

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Dad, are those gay cows? .....

No, they're Bison

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A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm

A bull was deployed for servicing the cows on a farm.

Lady asks the farm manager: "How many times can this bull perform?"

Manager replies: "5 to 6 times in a day".

Lady looks at her husband: "You see?"

Husband asks the manager: "Is it the same cow every time?"

Manager: "No sir it's a different cow every time."

Man looks back to wife: "You see!"

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How do you get 500 cows into a barn?

Put a bingo sign on it.

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"Son, what do you say when there's more than one goose?"

"Geese."

"Very good. What do you say when there's more than one cow?"

"Cows."

"Excellent. What do you say when there's more than one spider?"

"Shit!"

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What are the most funny Cows jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Cows? Well, here are the best Cows dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Cows pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes