Cows Jokes

Funniest Cows Short Jokes

Short cows jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The cows humour may include short cattle jokes also.

1. The only joke I know. How does a cow introduce his wife...?
   He says, "meat patty".
   I am very sorry.
2. I told my daughter, Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. Puzzled, she asked, What's that got to do with anything? I chuckled, "Well, that means..." "It's pasture bedtime!
3. What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
4. My 4 year old actually got me with this one 4 y/o: "Knock knock"
   Me: "Who's there?"
   4 y/o: "Interrupting cow goes"
   Me: "Interrupting cow go-"
   4 y/o: "MOOOOOOOO!"
5. A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97 So he rounded them up.
6. What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
   I wrote this.
   I'm now a comedy writer.
   You are welcome.
7. What happens if you you cross an angry cow with an angry sheep? You get two animals that are in a *baaaad moooood.*
8. What's the difference between Jesus' crucifixion and a cow? You cant milk a cow for 2000 years.
9. A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around? Yeah, the other cow says. Makes me glad I'm a penguin.
10. What do evil cows say? Moo ha ha.

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Cows One Liners

Which cows one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with cows? I can suggest the ones about bovine cow and dairy cow.

1. What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Can't milk a cow for 21 years.
2. Did you hear about what happened to the really offensive joke about cows? [remooved]
3. What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? Laughing stock.
4. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭
5. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
6. How rare is it for a cow to be struck by lightning? Medium rare.
7. What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
8. Courtesy of my seven year-old son: What do cows call their clothes? Moo
9. Are these gay cows, daddy? No, they're bison.
10. How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.
11. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they.... lactose.....
12. I had to quit my vegetarian diet Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
13. What do you call a cow that gets an abortion? Decaffeinated
14. In what state are most cows found in? Solid
15. What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure.

You Have Two Cows Jokes

Here is a list of funny you have two cows jokes and even better you have two cows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Two cows on a hill. One cow ask the other, have you herd of the mad cow disease? The other cow says, yeah, but why do I care? I'm a helicopter!
• Two cows walk into a vegan bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
• Two cows got in a fight.. One started to march towards the other, while the other got scared.
  One was cowrageous.
  The other was a coward.
• Two cows are eating grass in a field The first turns to the second and says "Moooooo"
  The second turns to the first and says "I was just about to say that"
• Cow Joke * What do you call a cow with no legs - Ground Beef
  * What do you call a cow with three legs - Lean Beef
  * What do you call a cow with two legs - your mother
• Two cows are standing around talking... "Hey, have you been following the news? All this mad cow disease going around is scary!"
  "Yeah! thank god we're elephants."
• what do you call a cow with two legs? lean beef.
• What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and an angry cow? You get two animals in a baaaaaad moooood.
• What does a woman have two of that a cow has four of? Legs.
• A cow recently submitted a two word theater review... "Udderly Mooving."

Two Cows Jokes

Here is a list of funny two cows jokes and even better two cows puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Two of the cows on our farm will not produce milk We called the one Milk Dud and the other an Udder Failure
• Two cows standing on a slope There's two cows standing on a slope. Which cows reaches the bottom first?
  The one with the smaller mu.
• Two cows walk into a barn "man i hate this farm", said the first one.
  "mood", mooed the second cow.
• Two cows are standing in a field. The first cow says, "hey, I'm really worried about this mad cow disease going around". The second cow says, "I don't care, I'm a submarine!".
• What do two cows say in a meat shop? I really enjoyed hanging with you.
• A man was recently convicted of beating another man's cow to death using only two small porcelain figures... Police report that it was the first case of a knickknack paddywhack
• Why weren't the two cows friends They had some beef
  ^^sorry
• What do you call a cow with only its front two legs? Well that would be an utter drag...
• What are the two sexiest farm animals? Brown chicken brown cow.
• Cow land Two cows are standing in a field.
  One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
  The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

Cows Fed Jokes

Here is a list of funny cows fed jokes and even better cows fed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How do you get sharp cheddar cheese from cows? You gotta make sure they're glass fed.
• Before the annual cattle fest, I fed the cows some 'quality grass' The steaks have never been higher

Uproarious Cows Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about cows you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean holy cow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make cows pranks.